In The Silence
by Pleasant Tomorrow
Summary: Chronicles the relationship between Jack and Janet and explains the subtle hints at something more that many of us have wondered about. What didn't we see, and why didn't they end up together?
1. Prologue

_March 1977_

Janet woke up that morning to the sound of Chrissy vacuum cleaning, feeling extremely tired and hung over. The party they had thrown for Eleanor the night before had gotten just a bit more out of hand than they had originally planned. She shuddered as she remembered the strip tease she performed for all of those people to see.

"Ugh," she said at the thought as she threw the covers off of herself and managed to force herself out of bed, with no knowledge that just a few feet away from her was a man that was about to just come waltzing-well, _tripping_-into her and Chrissy's hearts, and leaving such an impact on them that it would soon be difficult for the two of them to imagine their lives without him.

But as soon as Janet laid eyes on him, lying there in the bathtub asleep and soaking wet, yet still appearing as content as a child after his mother had tucked him in, she sensed that she was looking at trouble, and trouble was something that Janet had always made sure to avoid. But this trouble was different, something she didn't necessarily want to turn away from, something she found herself a bit hypnotized by…

And then suddenly this man jumped up faster than she had ever seen Mrs. Roper jump up after Mr. Roper claimed that he was excited (by something about guessing the song on _Name That Tune_ in seven notes, but excited nonetheless).

"He wasn't going to kill them, was he?" Janet thought. "My God, I hope he's hung over enough to think this ladle is actually threatening." She held it in front of her and stared at him in terror, Chrissy cowering behind her, and hoping to God that this beautiful man wasn't a serial killer.

"_**Uh…good evening," He said, looking confused and just as uncomfortable as someone who was soaking wet could look.  
**_

"_**Good morning," Janet and Chrissy skeptically replied.  
**_

"_**Good Lord, is it morning?"  
**_

"_**Yes, yes it is. And – and if you don't mind a stupid question, who are you?" Janet asked.  
**_

"_**Uh, oh, I'm sorry. I'm Jack. Jack Tripper," he said with an outreached hand, only to trip on the water he had dripped all around him.**_

"Well, he certainly lives up to his name," Janet thought.

She didn't quite know why, but Jack scared Janet. She could feel herself being drawn to him in a way that she was never drawn to anyone before, like she had known him for years. It was as if this man were some sort of kryptonite to her own strong, shielded self…as if he had come from an entirely different world where people like her weren't allowed to be so strong. She hated it, but at the same time she welcomed it.

And that was that, and there he was, and soon enough she and Chrissy came up with the idea to invite Jack to live with them. After all, he was a great cook, he would be great protection around the house…and he was extremely handsome.

Janet had argued against the idea at first, worrying that some sort of trouble would come of it. Or, was it a jealousy of what appeared to be his interest in Chrissy? Or perhaps a fear of living with someone that she could easily find herself falling in love with?

But regardless of any of that, Janet found herself unable to resist asking Jack to live with her and Chrissy. And he agreed to.

It was later that day that Janet watched Jack as he looked lustfully at Chrissy and felt a tinge of jealousy. She sighed and bit her nail as he placed his hand on Chrissy's knee. "This is certainly going to be an interesting ride," she thought, shaking her head.

But it was then and there that she decided that there was only one way she could live with a man like Jack Tripper, and that was to put her guard up. Nothing would ever be allowed to happen, and that would go for Chrissy as well. It would be the number one house rule, and it would prevent her, and anyone else, from ever getting hurt. Surely that made sense… (she turned again to Jack in time to catch him smiling after a joke Chrissy had told, and decided that he was perhaps one of the most handsome men she had ever seen)… didn't it?


	2. Chapter 1: No More Tears

**Chapter 1: "No More Tears" **

_May 1984_

Sometimes things change in an instant. One minute you might be enjoying the fact that you're at the height of your career, you've just gotten yourself a date, and you've managed to, for the first time, ride an airplane without having to drug yourself.

The next minute you might lose your best friend. The next minute you might lose the one person you love more than anyone else.

As soon as Jack had heard the word "marriage" come from Janet's lips, he froze. He was sure he had stopped breathing for a second. Unable to find words, he pushed the kitchen door open and made his way out, leaving a stunned Janet and Terri behind him.

He had known the day would come, but he continuously pushed the idea to the side. He'd have time. Maybe things would change. Maybe…

He turned and saw her.

"Jack?"

The moment was a blur, the aura about the room suddenly different within an instant. He might as well have been in another room, in another apartment, in another city. The sting he felt traveled directly to his heart, which was beating so hard and so fast he wondered if Janet could hear it, although it might as well not have been beating at all; it was destroyed. And all that stood out in his mind during that moment were the words "no more Janet" and "no more tears." She was no longer his Janet and he knew he couldn't cry about it. For her sake. For her happiness. He didn't have a choice.

Oh, but the tears in _her_ eyes killed him. He wanted so badly to make them go away. He wanted to whisk her away and tell her that her troubles were all gone, that _their_ troubles were all gone. This confusion and uncertainty, this fear of hurting the other, of losing the other…

Were they doing the right thing?

He didn't say a word that alluded to anything between he and Janet. Why bother now? Perhaps the pain in his eyes was explanation enough for how he felt, the sparkle suddenly gone. She seemed genuinely happy about her engagement to Phillip and he couldn't destroy that with his own concerns. Fighting his own tears, he wiped away hers.

The look in Janet's eyes as she looked at Phillip a few days later assured him that they were, in fact, doing the right thing. "She's happy," he thought. "She doesn't need me anymore."

But that did not stop Jack from resenting Phillip. When Janet left the living room to continue getting ready for their date, he made his way over to Phillip with a sly look on his face. He looked Phillip up and down as if he were a dean at a boarding school. Finally, he noticed a flaw and chuckled.

"Is there…something wrong?" Phillip inquired.

"Wrong? Noooo," he said, pronouncing the 'no' in his exaggerated Jack Tripper way. "But," he added, "I've spotted a dog hair on your shoulder. Tsk, tsk, tsk. I don't think _La Petite Salon_ would be pleased."

"Oh," Phillip chucked as he wiped it away. "Actually, that's from my cat Winston.

"_Cat? Winston? _But of course, I should have known," he said, squinting at Phillip and continuing to try and find any reason he could to despise the man, and having a more difficult time than he had hoped.

Standing there awkwardly, Phillip finally managed to say, "Do you mind if I have a seat?"

"Do I mind if you have a seat?" Jack asked angrily. "No, of course not," he said, pathetically.

They both made their way to the sofa, and Phillip smiled awkwardly at Jack, "Lovely weather we're having, huh?"

Jack, who was still looking at him suspiciously, replied "What an awful thing to say!" ignoring what Phillip had actually said altogether.

Sighing, Phillip said "Look, Jack, I'm just trying to be friendly."

Jack, too, sighed and stared down for a few seconds before he spoke. "I'm sorry. Really…I just, I guess I'm pretty protective of Janet."

Phillip smiled. "Well, that's understandable. I know you two are close."

Jack gulped at those words, almost guilty of how little Phillip knew of he and Janet's past.

Janet walked out of her room and smiled at the two. "Sorry about that, Phil. Are you ready?"

The two men stood up and Phillip looked at her and smiled. "All ready. Wow, you look absolutely stunning."

Jack felt his muscles tense, but he remained expressionless. Turning away from Phillip, Janet looked at Jack to say goodbye, but stopped when she saw him stare vacantly at the ground. The last few days he had been different…distant. The loveable, happy boy she had known now appeared to be a sluggish, depressed man. What had she done so wrong in finding happiness? She had thought they had talked the situation through a long time ago. Now she began to wonder if Jack was still stuck on what they could have been.

He had not been able to talk to Janet much for the next couple of days. As a defense mechanism, he had to mentally prepare himself for what he'd soon no longer have. Someone had to fill that hole, and at the moment Vicky was the closest he could find to do so. A moment ago she had just been another girl, now she became his solace for what he was now no longer able to cling to. He knew that he would ask Vicky to marry him. For now, what else did he have to lose? There would never be another Janet.

__________________________

As he lay there in his bed that night, Jack tried to comprehend what life would be like not living in apartment 201, but most of all he tried to imagine what life would be like not living with Janet. Her words had hit him like a bolt of lightning, his heart beat had quickened, and his mind had raced a mile a second. _"No more Janet."_ Those words sounded like a language he didn't know. They didn't float into his mind like other words; they forced themselves in uncomfortably, as if someone were forcing two puzzle pieces together that didn't actually fit.

But he'd had his chance. They could only ever be friends. They knew that. So why was it so hard to let go? What did he feel like he was making the biggest mistake of his life by letting Janet marry that man?

Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. He knew who it was before Janet's soft voice said, "Jack? It's me, Janet."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before getting up and walking to the door. He paused before he opened it, and when he did he looked intensely into her dark brown eyes. "Hey."

Janet swallowed hard and stared right back into his eyes. She had always loved his light blue eyes. They were so soft and kind, and made her feel so loved just by looking into them. And she knew she was. There was never any doubt about that.

"Jack I, um…I was worried about you and I just-"

Still staring into her eyes Jack cut her off and said, "Janet, I'm okay." He felt himself cringing at the lie as he put his hand on her cheek and began to caress it with his thumb. "As long as you're happy, I'm okay."

Janet didn't take her eyes off of him either and replied, "It's just that you've been acting so strange ever since I told you that I was marrying Philip and I-I can't help but think that I'm the reason that you're acting differently."

"Janet, just take my word for it, okay?"

"You've barely talked to me for the last couple of days."

Jack backed away from her and sighed as he made his way further into the living room. "I just need time to think, Janet. This is so sudden. It's a huge change for all of us."

"I know that Jack but I feel like I'm going to lose you. I'm not even married to Philip yet and things have already changed." Janet stopped as she began to choke up. She cleared her throat and refused to blink so that the tears wouldn't flow. She looked at Jack staring at the ground and finally managed to say, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, Jack. You're my best friend."

Looking up Jack said, "You won't lose me Janet. But you have to expect that things will be different. We're not always going to be as close as we are now. You're getting married and I've met someone."

"So you're giving it all up now? Before anything has even changed?"

"Everything has changed!" He stopped himself when he realized he had said those last few words just a bit louder than he had meant to. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to yell."

Janet stared at Jack as if he had just smacked her across the face. He'd never yelled at her like that before. But she could find no words to say to him and just shook her head as she made her way to her bedroom door.

"Janet, I'm sorry!" Jack said as he grabbed her arm just before she turned the doorknob. Janet willingly stopped but did not turn around. "This is so unbelievably hard," he said.

Janet spun around and looked directly into his eyes, "Hard? _Hard?_ Don't you tell me what's hard, Jack Tripper! I've been going through denial for seven years just to make sure I'd never get hurt by you! Every day, every minute with you I had to assure myself that my feelings for you meant nothing! Chasing after Chrissy or Terri, or whomever…oh Jack, how could I trust you? I could never let myself give in to those feelings and when I almost did I had never been more terrified in my entire life. Having feelings for you is the hardest thing I've ever done."

"And having feelings for you was any easier?" Jack said, clenching his fists with anger. Before he could make a case for himself, Janet stopped him.

"This is why nothing could ever happen between us, Jack. This right here."

"Because you're unbelievably difficult?"

"Because _you're _unbelievably immature." And with that, Janet turned on her heel and walked into her room, shutting the door on him.

Jack stood there ready to punch the wall, the room suddenly extremely quiet. The silence surrounded him like an evil spirit, destroying all of the laughter and love he had shared with Janet those seven years. He couldn't believe how something so precious could be taken away from him so quickly, but there he was standing alone by the bedroom door, feeling as if he were the only person left in the world. _"No more Janet."_


	3. Chapter 2: Do You Dig Him?

**Chapter 2: Do You Dig Him?**

_March 1977_

"No, no, no," Jack said as he struggled out of the woman's arms and turned his attention to the radiator. Mr. Roper's car was a piece of junk, but at least it gave Jack an excuse to turn his attention elsewhere from Karen. He wasn't about to get in trouble with Roper for fooling around with his niece. Trying to fix the radiator was the only way he could avoid her while they sat there backed-up on the freeway.

"Oh but Jack," Karen said seductively as she began kissing Jack on his neck and up to his ear, "You've been fiddling with that thing all night. Isn't it time you, maybe, fiddled with something else?"

Jack smiled but forced himself to pull away from the beautiful woman, something that wasn't very easy for him to do. "I might as well make sure these windshield wipers work, in case of a storm…"

"In California? The sky is completely clear."

Jack ignored her as he mindlessly clicked the windshield wiper button on and off, while Karen sat back in her seat and rolled her eyes.

Finally traffic began to pick up and not a word was uttered between the two. Jack's mind began to wander elsewhere, particularly to his new roommates and how much they must hate him at the moment. Jack sighed. He really did feel guilty for bailing on Janet like that, but he had no idea traffic would be this bad.

Luckily he had had a plan the whole time. He pulled up to a pawn shop and asked Karen to wait in the car. It was the least he could do for Janet. He'd been hoping there was some way he could do something special for her on her birthday.

Walking up to the pawn shop, Jack chuckled as he remembered the kiss he had shared with Janet earlier. It was the first time he had kissed either of the girls, and assumed a "birthday kiss" would be the perfect excuse to do so. A shot with Chrissy would have been nice as well, but just Janet sufficed. He stopped himself for a minute as he remembered the look in her eyes after he had kissed her, and the shock of excitement that surged throughout his body for a second before he realized he was caught on her necklace. But before he got a chance to fully process the thought, he unknowingly walked straight into the door of the shop.

"Ayyyyieee," Jack moaned as the owner walked out of the shop to see if he was alright.

The owner looked at him and replied, "I'm sorry, we don't sell band-aids here."

____________________

The next morning, Janet looked into the mirror as she clipped her favorite necklace around her neck. The cameo Jack had bought back for her twinkled in the light and she smiled. Jack sure was growing on her, but then again who was she kidding? She had seen something special in him from the moment that she had met him. Admitting that was difficult, however. Admitting that was setting herself up for a world of hurt.

"Janet!" Chrissy called from the living room, breaking Janet away from her thoughts.

"I'm coming!" Janet said as she sprinted out of the bathroom. Chrissy and Jack were waiting for her in the living room. Though Janet had continuously assured Jack that he had more than made up for not celebrating her birthday with her and Chrissy, he still insisted on treating them to a day at the pier.

"I tell ya, it's like women have their own religion and the mirror is one of the gods that they pray to," Jack joked about the girl's habits as Janet playfully smacked him on the arm. Jack laughed and opened the door only to find the "smiling" faces of the Ropers staring back at him.

"Mr. Roper! Look girls, it's Mr. Roper!" Jack said as he looked back at the girls and made an "oh great" face.

"And Mrs. Roper," she said, poking her head around the corner. "Mr. Roper never does his dirty work alone. Oh, what am I saying? He never does any dirty work period," she said, sarcastically referring to his lack of sexual interest.

"Dirty work?" Janet asked, ignoring Mrs. Roper's sarcasm.

"Mrs. Roper wanted me to-_I _wanted to apologize again to Jack. About last night, if I'd have known it would've tortured you that much to take a beautiful woman out, I'd have never asked you to. I promise it'll never happen again."

Janet and Chrissy almost burst out into laughter while Jack replied, "Oh, no, no, Mr. Roper. I assure you it was no trouble at all. Trust me, I can handle these things."

"I'll bet that's exactly what he was doing," Janet sarcastically quipped to Chrissy, who chuckled.

"Well, I said what I needed to say and now I have to go and spend some time with my niece," said Mr. Roper.

"Bye kids," Mrs. Roper said.

After they had left, Janet said, "Well, you don't see that every day!"

"Yeah, I wonder what got into Mr. Roper to say a sweet thing like that," said Chrissy.

"I don't know, but this gay act is really starting to wear me out. I don't know how long I can go on doing this!" said Jack.

"Oh Jack, don't tell me you're not having fun with it. Do you remember the look on Roper's face last week when you told him he resembled an old flame of yours?" Janet laughed.

"Yeah! I'd never seen Mr. Roper run away that fast before! It sure got Mrs. Roper excited, though!" Chrissy said as she let out a snort.

Jack winced. "The funniest part is that I really was referring to a girl. She wasn't nearly as beautiful as you, Chrissy," he said as he ran his ringers through her hair and she bit her lip.

Janet looked at the two and then looked down, her lips pursed. It was plain as day that Jack had a crush on Chrissy, and Chrissy sure wasn't putting up much of a fight. "Well!" she said, trying to get their attention, "We'd better get going. Come on Chrissy!" She grabbed Chrissy's arm, pulling her away from Jack who made a face and then shrugged off Janet's impulsiveness.

The weather was, as usual, beautiful that day. You could smell the mist of the ocean as it lightly tickled your face and the sound of laughter in the air as families, friends, and lovers enjoyed their time at the beach. Janet found herself getting caught up in the sites around her until Jack and Chrissy, who were now a few feet ahead, called back to her. They were headed toward the Merry-Go-Round, Chrissy's favorite.

"Come on, babe," Jack said as he grabbed Janet's hand. "The sheer excitement at the thought of going around in circles at five miles per hour is killing me. I can't wait any longer!"

Janet laughed as Chrissy whined a "Hey!"

Looking at the three that day, one would be surprised that they all hadn't known each other for years. The smiles on their faces hid the thoughts racing through their minds, particularly Janet's. She couldn't deny it any longer; she certainly had a crush on Jack. And Jack? Well, it was obvious to her that he had a crush on Chrissy. And as for Chrissy, well, Chrissy was Chrissy and Janet didn't know much what to think about where her thoughts were focused. It seemed to be a triangular mess that caused Janet to wonder if she and Chrissy had done the right thing by allowing Jack into their home.

Later, while Jack chatted with some friends he had spotted, Chrissy pulled Janet to the side with a concerned look on her face.

"Janet, are you alright?" She asked.

Chuckling Janet said, "Of course, Chrissy. Why wouldn't I be alright?"

"Well, it's just that…you've been acting kind of weird the last couple of weeks. Ya know, ever since Jack moved in. I mean, you've been acting high strung even for you!"

"What?" Janet laughed. "And what exactly do you mean by high strung?"

"What would you do if I told you that Jack passionately made out with me last night after you went to bed?"

"He what?!" Janet shrieked, and then forced a smile when she realized that the people around them had stopped and stared at her. "H-he what?" She said again more quietly.

"See? That's exactly what I mean! I just made that up but even if I hadn't why would it matter?"

"I-because…well, ya know, because…" Janet stopped herself unable to give a straight answer. "I mean, it wouldn't be right…for the other roommate."

"Do you dig Jack?"

"What?" Janet laughed.

"You asked me last night, but you never answered me back," Chrissy said, her light blue eyes twinkling. "If he weren't living with us would you, well, you know…?"

Janet looked back at Chrissy and smiled at the repetition of her own words from the night before. Sure, Chrissy didn't appear to be the sharpest tool in the shed, that much was for sure, but underneath that blonde head of hair of hers was a fully functioning brain that knew just when to make its point.

Sighing, Janet replied firmly, "Look, maybe just a little crush. A very small, very minute crush. It'll go away very quickly, I'm sure."

Chrissy smiled, "I knew it! I knew you'd know to tell me what I knew you knew all along! Besides, a crush is a crush. We can't help those. And you're right. It wouldn't be right for two roommates to be together because it'd make the third feel awkward. So don't you worry, I have no interest in ever dating Jack."

"And neither do I!" Janet said, feeling as though she was only partially telling the truth.

"Neither do you what?" Jack asked while walking up to the girls, having heard the last few words of Janet's.

"Neither do I what? Uh…tell him Chrissy," she said, laughing the situation off.

"Neither does she, um…" Pausing, Chrissy spotted a man walking by eating some french fries with ketchup smothered all over them. "Neither does she…eat french fries with ketchup! Yeah, everyone knows ketchup stunts your growth," she said rolling her eyes and chuckling, as if it was obvious.

"I see Janet learned that the hard way," Jack said jokingly, referring to Janet's short stature, while she proceeded to give him her signature stare. He then grabbed each girl's hand and led them further down the pier, very content with the new friends he had acquired. It was living with two girls that wasn't going to be easy, especially when he had decided he may have feelings for one of them.


	4. Chapter 3: Strictly Platonic

Hey, I just wanted to thank everyone who's read my story so far, and Lilylynn, I appreciate the review!

**Chapter 3: Strictly Platonic**

_October 1977_

Reaching down for the book that had just fallen, Jack and Chrissy's hands brushed against the other's causing each to tense a bit and look into each other's eyes. While Chrissy's expression was that of longing, Jack's was more contemplative as he stared at her trying to figure out why exactly he wasn't proceeding to rip her clothes off and, more importantly, whether or not he really wanted to. As their faces grew closer he knew the only thing that made sense was to kiss her; so, he did…on her forehead.

Who was that?

"You know, I think dinner's ready. I'll go check on it," Jack said making his way to the kitchen, puzzled and unsure of what had just happened. Chrissy was beautiful without even trying, someone he found to be extremely attractive and innocent and she captivated him. And now, here was his chance…and he kissed her forehead. What on earth was wrong with him?

Well, there was Linda. That was it. She was one of the most serious girlfriends he had had in a long time. If Linda wasn't in the picture, he'd surely have been all over Chrissy. Wouldn't he have?

Walking out to the living room with dinner in his hands, Jack looked over at Chrissy and invited her to the table and she slowly dragged herself to it with a forlorn look on her face.

"You took your hair out of the curlers," Jack said as he placed the food on the table.

"Yeah," she said quietly as she sat down.

"Everything okay?"

"Mmhm."

Shrugging off Chrissy's strange behavior, Jack once again proceeded to look into her eyes, even though she was still looking down. She was beautiful inside and out. What a sweet kid, he thought. And then it hit him: it wasn't a crush he had on Chrissy; it was admiration for her kind soul and childlike spirit. Although she was one of the most beautiful women he had ever met, he began to realize that looks were as far as his attraction for her went.

And suddenly, Jack felt like a free man. No crush on his roommate meant no stress, no heartache, and no pain and longing for what could never be.

The huge smile on his face completely threw Chrissy off. "What's so funny?" she whined, not in the mood for Jack's jokes.

"Nothing, Chrissy, you're just a wonderful, beautiful girl," he smiled, and gave her another kiss on the forehead, giggling to the point that he seemed almost insane. Chrissy, on the other hand, took his chuckling to mean he did not find her attractive and it only caused her more anguish.

Sighing and tugging at a curler she just realized she had missed, Chrissy said, "Oh, I see, you're laughing at me."

"No, Chrissy, I'm not laughing at you. I'm just so very happy to be your friend. You make me feel good about myself and you make me happy and I'm very grateful for that."

Putting on a half-hearted smile, Chrissy replied, "Oh, well, I'm grateful to be your friend too, Jack." Then, she quickly kissed him on the forehead and looked down, mildly confused.

"Well, better hurry up before dinner gets cold. Eat up!"

"Right."

But, unbeknownst to Chrissy, as they talked that night Jack learned a lot about her and who she was. And the more they talked, the more he realized he only really saw her as a friend whom he admired and loved. He was beyond happy and beyond relieved. No, Janet certainly had nothing to worry about that night.

__________________________

Of course she trusted them. Well, she trusted Chrissy anyway. Still, walking into the apartment that morning and seeing a mess left over from the night before caused her to raise her eyebrows a bit. And then there was poor Chrissy who seemed significantly upset. And the empty wine bottle. And Jack's suspiciously giddy mood…

'I'll kill him…" she thought.

However, upon learning the truth, Janet managed to compose herself and show no worry at all. Had anything happened that night, she thought she might have screamed. What had happened between Jack and Chrissy she could never quite guess, but the fact that it was all platonic relieved her more than she was willing to admit to herself. But, nothing did happen and she was quite happy to leave it at that. Of course, the fact that Chrissy felt bad for Janet for having to spend another night with Mrs. Roper and was willing to spend it with her in Janet's place may have made it a bit easier to accept. And then suddenly she realized she'd be alone with Jack that night and her heart began to flutter. Out of excitement or fear, she wasn't quite sure.

Chrissy made her way downstairs before the girls got a chance to tell Jack they were switching places and he walked out of his room surprised to see a brunette head of hair where he expected to see a blonde one.

"Janet! What are you still doing here?" He asked.

"Oh," she said turning around to face Jack from the sofa where she was sitting, "Chrissy decided to go in my place. Something about not having played a good game of dominos in a long time."

"Oh," he replied disappointed at the loss of one roommate, but put a smile on his face for the gaining of another. "Any plans for tonight?"

"No. No, I thought I'd just take it easy for tonight. What about you?"

"No girlfriend, no money…no plans," he sulkily replied, slumping down on the sofa next to her.

"Oh Jack," she said patting him on the shoulder, slightly amused but also genuinely sorry for him, "Hey, there'll be other Linda's. Besides, you seemed to have a good time with Chrissy last night, why shouldn't you have a good time with me, too?"

Jack looked at her and smiled. "You're right. Plus, with you I don't have to explain everything that could possibly be mistaken for something else," he said with a laugh, referring to Chrissy's lack of ability to grasp any mildly complicated concept.

"Huh?"

"Or maybe I do…" Blowing her confusion off, he put his arm around her and smiled, "So I was thinking-" he started.

"Well stop thinking!" Suspicious of what Jack's words might mean, she threw his arm off of her and scooted further away from him on the sofa. Crush or no, she was not up for any funny business.

"No, Janet," he chuckled at her misunderstanding. "No, I mean…I was thinking we have a nice, quiet dinner together like I had with Chrissy. I mean, if I can do it with her why shouldn't I be able to do it with you?"

Misunderstanding him again by taking his usage of the phrase "do it" to mean something other than eating dinner, she jumped off of the sofa and shrieked back, "Jack Tripper! What kind of a girl do you think I am?"

Still chuckling to himself at his unintended innuendo, he got up and put his hands on her arms. "Janet…my God, you're so tense! Will you calm down?" As she began to relax instead of running away from him, Jack went on, "Look, I know you're not used to being alone with me but I'm really not as bad as you might think. We've been living together for seven months now, you have to learn to trust me. I didn't try anything with Chrissy last night, did I?"

"No," she admitted, "But that was when you were still with Linda."

"Janet, Janet, Janet. Look," he said sighing as he walked over to the door and opened it. "I'll leave the door open tonight while we have dinner. It's a nice night out anyway. I may be perverted, but I'm not perverted enough to try anything in front of the whole world."

"Well, okay," she said, beginning to smile a bit, "but you'll let all the bugs in."

"You are impossible!" he said slamming the door, but secretly finding himself amused. Impossible she may be, but somehow she still managed to remain somewhat striking to him. What it was, however, he could not quite place his finger on.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" she began to laugh. "I…I trust you," she forced herself to admit.

"Okay then. I'm going to go start dinner. Anything you have in mind?"

Walking into her room to change she replied, without the realization of yet another innuendo, "I could actually go for something a bit spicy."

"Coming right up!" He joked and ran over to her with his arms spread wide open, only to have the door slammed right on his face. But that was okay, Jack Tripper was used to broken noses.

_____________________________

Just as he had with Chrissy, Jack learned quite a bit about Janet that night. That she was the oldest of three, with one younger sister and one younger brother. That as a little girl, she had always wanted to be a professional dancer. And that, whenever she got really upset, she ate like a compulsive eater…something that, as a cook, Jack could easily help her with.

He felt different around Janet than he did around Chrissy. Chrissy was like a loveable, little girl to him…well, not quite so much like a little girl, he thought, thinking about her voluptuousness and biting his lip. Turning to Janet, though, he thought about how he saw her more as someone who could really understand him…someone he could easily talk to and who would understand him.

And she did learn to understand him. Smiling, she looked into his eyes as he recalled his days in the Navy with fondness. He also told her about his childhood and how he became interested in cooking through his late grandmother, who was from France. She was interested in hearing about the women of Jack's past. He elaborated on how he grew up with strong women in his life, growing to respect them and never quite feeling as if he could ever be good enough for a woman like that. They fascinated him, and he always felt they deserved the best that life could give them. It explained a lot to Janet about why he always seemed to go for the floozies.

Was she that strong woman he respected? Was that why he seemed to keep his distance from her in comparison to Chrissy? Or, was it because she, too, felt the need to keep her distance from him? That she was far too strong-willed to let her guard down to a man who surely wouldn't give her a second glance on the street had they never met?

After he had finished his reminiscing, Janet got up to go and pick up the dishes from dinner, staring into the remnants of the _Boeuf Bourguignon _as if it were a mirror displaying all of her thoughts for her to contemplate. Turning around to ask Jack if he wouldn't mind helping her, she bumped into him, as he had already gotten up, and the plate of leftover food spilled all over her blouse.

"Jack!"

"Oh, Janet, I'm so sorry. Take off your shirt, I'll clean it for you," Jack said, not meaning to insinuate anything.

Janet stared at him angrily, once again mistaking his words to mean something much worse.

Catching her glare, Jack said jokingly, "Well, we have to get the stain out somehow!" And then, he proceeded to puff his cheeks out like a rabid maniac.

Janet couldn't help but laugh and smacked him on the stomach, "Get your mind out of the gutter, you!" she said and made her way to the bedroom to change, "Now put those dishes away."

"Yes'm," Jack joked and made his way to the kitchen. 'Stupid, stupid,' he thought as he placed the dishes into the sink. 'Do I always have to turn everything into a dirty joke? Then again,' he thought, forming a sly smile on his face, 'she must have a dirty mind, too, since she's always assuming the worst…' Shaking his thoughts off, he scolded himself. 'Janet's a good girl! Just like Chrissy's a good girl. I was always the wimpy boy in my family, with all of those wonderful women, and now I treat them like that!' Sighing, he thought about how Janet had that no nonsense attitude mixed with charm, wit, and beauty that he feared, but at the same time admired.

Walking out into the living room after he had finished with the dishes, he caught Janet walking out of her room and their eyes locked. She was nothing like Chrissy, he thought. Nothing like any girl he ever went for, really. He looked at her with her large rimmed glasses and oversized blue jersey as she produced an awkward smile. No, not like those girls at all. But still, for some reason, there was still something about her that shined.

Shaking himself out of his trance, Jack managed to say, "Hey, I'm really sorry about your shirt. I hope it's not stained."

"I think it's safe to say it's just been downgraded to dishrag status," she said, but with a bit of a smile.

"Oh Jan, I'm so sorry…"

"Eh, no big deal. It's an old shirt anyway."

Running out of things to say they both stood there in silence for a minute, each at opposite sides of the room. In a way, it described their relationship at that point perfectly: captivated, yet terrified as they stood there trying to figure one another out.

"Well…" Jack managed to say.

"Well," Janet replied.

"I, uh, there's supposed to be a Bogart film on in a little while that I wouldn't mind seeing. You in?" Jack asked.

"Oh, sure! I love Humphrey Bogart!"

Sitting on the sofa with Jack as the movie began, Janet thought back to how Chrissy had acted earlier in response to Jack's actions, or lack thereof, the night before. She recalled how Jack had admitted if he hadn't been with Linda, he would've been all over Chrissy. And while Janet eventually blew his words off as a joke, she began to rethink them now. Jack was no longer dating Linda and he was still acting like a gentleman. 'Well,' Janet thought, 'that was a good thing, right? Right? Oh, Janet be serious! Of course it is!"

But she couldn't help being disappointed that he didn't at least try, just as Chrissy had been. She wouldn't voice it, though, or even act upset. Secrets such as these were meant to be hidden in the deepest corners of her mind, not to be told to anyone.

Jack looked over at Janet and smiled a friendly smile and she smiled back in return. His conclusion this time wasn't the same that he had come to about Chrissy the night before. Janet wasn't a loveable child, she was something different…someone he knew he'd grow very close to. Not necessarily in a romantic way, but maybe something else: a sort of bond that only few are lucky enough to have.

He held out his hand for her to hold, and as she placed hers in his she felt that she understood what he was thinking. It hurt her and at the same time her brain told her that that was how it would have to be and how it should be. Her heart, however, had different plans. And her heart was just as stubborn as she was.


	5. Chapter 4: No Kissing, No Necking

Guys, your comments absolutely made my day. You don't know how much they mean to me! I'm glad that you like that I'm trying to incorporate what actually happened in the show because it really was my intention to make this as realistic as possible. The Jack and Janet relationship was almost too complex for a sitcom haha, and I just wanted to cover what I felt we weren't shown.

This chapter's a bit shorter, but I felt I covered what I needed to in it. Enjoy. 

**Chapter 4: No Kissing, No Necking**

_October 1978_

It was almost midnight. Feeling a tad guilty for putting Chrissy in the position she was in as a result of the bet, Janet decided she ought to be the one to have to sleep outside to make sure Jack didn't walk out the door and cheat. Quietly, she grabbed her sleeping bag from the closet opposite her bed and slowly made her way out the bedroom door.

Pausing, she looked suspiciously at Jack's door but decided it was perhaps going too far to literally go in and check on him. But that didn't mean that she didn't want to. Sighing, she threw the sleeping bag onto the floor. Oh, what was she doing? And why? Was this really about will power and the battle of the sexes, about whether Chrissy could go longer without food than Jack could without women, or was it something else?

She headed toward the kitchen to grab a large spoon should anyone attempt to harm her outside. It was Santa Monica, after all. But questions of guilt and confusion still continued to tap her on the shoulder. They screamed jealousy and insecurity. Janet would have started to cry if she weren't so good at mimicking indifference, for there were certain things that she wouldn't even admit to herself.

After she had accidentally slammed the drawer shut and winced at the noise, she went to grab the sleeping bag and laid it down outside right in front of the door. It may be crazy of her to do, but she wasn't by any means going to let Jack escape-er, cheat. Because, of course, she didn't own Jack…she just didn't want to lose a bet. Right?

As much as she tried to ignore it, deep down she knew. Falling asleep, she made sure to try and think of other things, but in the back of her mind thoughts were racing. The real reason why she was lying outside the apartment door in a sleeping bag like a fool, large spoon in hand, of course, was not the possibility that Jack would cheat on the bet and head over to Grace's hotel room; the real issue was jealousy. Janet knew that the only time Chrissy truly angered her was when her looks gained more attention than her own…when her own insecurities that she wasn't good enough or pretty enough gnawed at her. And she knew that the only time Jack truly angered her was when he became very interested in a woman that wasn't her. The bet, of course, was a way to make her feel equal, to push all of her frustrations away.

But she couldn't admit these things to herself…because it hurt too much to. And Janet hated crying. She hated to think that she was maybe taking her problems out on her own best friends. The ideal Janet wouldn't do that. The ideal Janet would rise above her insecurities. But she wasn't the ideal Janet. She wasn't the ideal anyone; she was just human.

"_Women have no self-control."_ Jack's words from earlier echoed in her mind, unknowingly challenging her own behavior. They only made her want to go through with the bet even more. 'I'll show him,' she thought as she tossed once to make herself more comfortable.

Just before she fell asleep, Janet looked up at the clear California night sky. Were the answers to her problems perhaps somewhere out there? Searching among the heavens, she saw a star twinkle as if to say, "You're on your own, kid." Sighing, she turned over once more and closed her eyes.

______________________________________

Jack didn't catch on. How could he, when Janet herself wasn't quite able to? Running his face through the cold water of the shower, he shrieked both at the pain of the temperature and the pain of losing yet another girl. Oh Grace. Sweet, sweet Grace. Curvaceous, promiscuous Grace. He ran his head under the water again and shrieked some more.

Janet walked back into the living room and rolled her eyes as Chrissy continued to eat the cake. Grace was gone, but it didn't make her feel any better for in reality she had gained nothing. The girls hadn't even won the bet.

Sighing, Janet slumped down on the couch next to Chrissy.

Looking over at Janet with chocolate cake covering her face and hands, Chrissy made a face reminiscent of a dog who had just torn up a shoe and gotten caught. "Oh, Janet, I couldn't help it. This cake is so good."

Janet looked sympathetically over at Chrissy and patted her knee to let her know there were no hard feelings. "Oh, it's not that Chrissy it's just-" Stopping herself, Janet impulsively looked over at the bathroom door behind which Jack was. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. It's over now." The bet was over, that is. These difficult feelings, however, were not. Sighing yet again Janet went over to the bathroom door and knocked. "Jack, can I talk to you?"

"Did you bring Grace back?" He called from behind the door.

"No, Jack, I did not bring Grace back," she replied impatiently.

Jack opened the door with a look on his face that read both anger and sadness. "This is all your fault, you know. If it weren't for this stupid bet Grace would still be here!"

"My fault? The stupid bet was _your_ idea! And you were the one that had to go on saying how women had no self-control!"

"They don't!" Jack yelled, motioning to Chrissy who was now proceeding to lick the cake off of her fingers, unaware of any quarrel. She looked up and smiled guiltily when she noticed the two of them looking at her.

Janet made her way after Jack as he walked to his bedroom to get changed. He stopped her short as he quickly turned around and said, "You know, come to think of it…this bet was between me and Chrissy. You didn't have to give anything up."

Janet backed away a bit, fearing where he was going with this. "Yeah, so…"

"Well, why weren't you involved?"

"I, uh…I…oh, I don't know! What difference does it make?" And with that, Janet turned and made her way to her own room.

"What's up with her?" Jack asked Chrissy with a look of confusion on his face, and she replied with a shrug.

"Janet?" Jack called as he knocked on her door.

"Go away!"

But the door wasn't locked, and Jack made his way into the room where he found Janet sitting on her bed flipping through a magazine that she obviously wasn't really reading. Sighing, she slammed the magazine shut and looked up at Jack. "What do you want?" she asked with an eye roll.

Before he answered, Jack's mind wandered once more to what he felt was the mystery that was Janet. Women were complicated, sure…but she-_she_ was something else. Stubborn, difficult, and often times she made absolutely no sense to Jack. And despite all of this, he did find her endearing. Finally he said, "Sorry for snapping at you. It's just…it was Grace! Did you see the body on that girl?"

Janet said nothing but just stared angrily at him.

Sitting down next to her, Jack said "Okay, okay that aside…I guess I'm just curious. What would you have given up for the bet?"

Sighing, Janet kicked her pride aside for a moment and looked up at Jack. "This isn't lent, Jack, it wasn't about giving anything up."

"Well then enlighten me, Janet, what was it about?"

Finally managing to let out a chuckle about the ridiculousness of it all, Janet said "It's about how stubborn and jealous I am."

"Jealous of what?"

"Of-of everything Jack. Oh I don't know…everyone has their insecurities, huh?"

With unspoken agreement, Jack realized that the bet really was between him and Janet after all. It was the two of them that were so passionate about it. Chrissy was merely a tool that the two of them were using. He looked over at Janet. "Women have plenty of self control," he said, smiling at her.

Janet looked up at him and smiled back. "Do you really mean that?" She asked, for it was all she really wanted to hear as far as the bet was concerned.

"Of course. Because I know that if they didn't, you and Chrissy would be all over me."

"Oh!" Janet yelled angrily, but a smile formed on her face as she playfully threw a pillow at Jack.

Jack had no idea why he was suddenly not angry at that moment, but he figured it had something to do with the fact that he sensed something in Janet that, in some odd way, he could relate to. And whether or not he would admit it to himself, it was not Grace or any other random girl he was after: it was affection. For he, too, did have his insecurities. Janet, it seemed, was one of the few women that never allowed him to take those insecurities out on her, which he often did by flirting with every woman he could find. Confused again, but smiling nonetheless, he made his way out the door as Janet stayed where she was, shaking her head with amusement and left to contemplate her relationship with Jack Tripper once more.


	6. Chapter 5: Trust the People You Love

**Chapter 5: Trust the People You Love**

_December 1979_

Well that was that. If you couldn't trust your two best friends, who could you trust? Unable to look at Chrissy any longer, Janet slammed down her coffee mug and made her way to her the living room. She had always feared Jack and Chrissy having an affair, but she had never expected it to actually happen. And they wanted _her_ to move out! They were crazy! If it were their undoing she'd stay in the apartment, what did she care anymore? And as she sat there, she could feel the cracks forming in her heart, ready for it to break and fall apart completely. What fool would save their heart for Jack Tripper, when it was very clear he couldn't be trusted? And when it was very clear he had no feelings toward her.

And then Jack had the nerve to be upset and act like he had no idea what was going on. Typical! "He could stay at the Regal Beagle forever, for all I care!" she thought, only partially meaning it.

But Janet knew she wasn't only angry because she just may or may not have feelings for Jack; she was also angry because her best friend, someone she had trusted more than anyone else in the whole world, had gone behind her back when they had had an agreement. Thinking back to that day at the pier a couple of years ago, she recalled Chrissy say herself that it wouldn't be right for two roommates to have an affair because it would make the third feel awkward. Well, it was worse than awkward. It was making her feel as though she was losing two of the most important people in her life.

On the other side of the misunderstanding, Chrissy continued sitting in the kitchen hoping for Janet to come back and at least apologize to her. How could her two best friends go behind her back like that? "Going for a glass of water my eye!" she thought, referring to Janet's explanation for leaving the bedroom last night. And they wanted _her_ to move out! They were crazy!

Sighing, Chrissy picked up the dishes and got up to place them in the sink. It wasn't that she cared for Jack. There had always been a silly little crush, but that was all it really was: a silly little crush. What bothered her most was being lied to by her two best friends. It killed poor Chrissy to think that she was unimportant enough for Jack and Janet to kick her to the curb for some fling. "It has to be a fling because Jack and Janet together just doesn't make any sense," she thought, making her way back to the chair to sit down. But with a second thought, she stopped herself. "Does it?" Even though she was the prime source of Jack's flirtatious attacks, (and she couldn't quite say that she didn't enjoy it once in awhile, for the fun of it) Chrissy often felt that she was missing out on some sort of strange connection that was shared between Jack and Janet, and perhaps she was just a bit jealous of it, to the point where she often just tried to ignore it.

Frowning, though not necessarily upset about the possible fact, Chrissy thought that perhaps the two were serious about each other. And who was she to be angry about that?

Making her way toward the kitchen door to tell all of this to Janet, she stopped once more. She knew she wasn't the smartest person in the world and the fact that Jack and Janet had hidden so much from her only made her feel more insecure about often being so oblivious to the world around her. And it struck a chord. Pouting and trying her best not to shed any tears, Chrissy decided that she wasn't going to play the good guy just yet.

Sitting on the other side of the door, Janet had the exact same sentiments.

______________________________

The girls both kissed Jack, happy and relieved they had both been wrong about each other and about him. And while Jack was relieved that the entire misunderstanding was settled, it didn't mean that he wasn't still upset about how the two girls never seemed to trust him.

After the Janet and Chrissy had pulled away, Jack looked up at them both and sighed. "Do you girls really think that badly of me that you would think I would try and have an affair with one of you behind the other's back?"

Janet looked at Jack guiltily. It was true that he was always playing the part of the sex starved maniac, but she knew that he really wasn't…at least not completely. "We were wrong, Jack. Honestly, you're right. It's so important to be able to trust the ones you love." And Chrissy nodded in agreement.

"Well good. Because I love you two so much," Jack said, smiling at them both. "And to make it up to me, I'd say I deserve a big kiss from both of you."

"Oh Jack, you are something else!" Janet said with mock anger, but before she could protest further, Jack had grabbed her and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

Looking on, Chrissy thought back to her possible realization earlier. So there wasn't an affair, true, but whether or not Jack or Janet, or both, realized it, Chrissy was now allowing herself to admit that she saw something there. Shaking her head with amusement, Chrissy sighed and said, "You know, sometimes I think I'm the only one that makes any sense around here!" which prompted Jack to drag her onto the floor alongside he and Janet, where they had ended up, and kiss her, too.

Laughing, Janet got up and regained herself, "Alright, break it up break it up!"

"Hey, it's only fair that you both get your turn with the sexiest man in the room," Jack said getting up, with a sly grin on his face.

"But you're the only man in the room," Chrissy replied.

"Exactly," retorted Janet, causing Jack to chase after her and tickle her. Laughing, Janet noticed that she had recognized this particular scene. Jack always seemed to enjoy tickling Janet, and she knew that she certainly enjoyed it back. But at the same time, she also always noticed the look on Chrissy's face whenever she "caught" them in one of their moments.

The smile on her face began to fade and she pulled away from Jack whose own smile faded in response. "Something wrong?" He asked.

Janet looked up at Chrissy and then back at Jack. "Nah, everything's fine," she said faking a smile.

"Well, then on that note I have to go get ready for my date tonight. Anna the Animal…they say she's a real wild one," Jack said looking up and licking his lips and then headed to the bedroom as the girls looked on rolling their eyes.

Ruffling through his dresser to find something to wear, Jack still couldn't get his mind off of how Janet and Chrissy so easily believed he would go behind one's back to have an affair with the other. Did he appear to be that low of a person, to be that untrustworthy? "Moi?" He thought angrily before remembering he was about to go on a date with someone called "Anna the Animal," after all.

Sitting down to put a new pair of socks on, he sighed. Suppose he _did _appear untrustworthy. Did that mean he really was? Of course he wasn't. And yet, he couldn't help but feel guilty.

Jack's thoughts shifted to Janet, which seemed to be happening more and more often lately. He didn't know why. Maybe it was the fact that she continuously challenged him in some way without realizing it, which forced him to reflect on himself as a person. He realized he invoked some sort of jealousy in both Chrissy and Janet, as they did in him. It was only normal, he supposed, to have such tension in a two women, one man living arrangement. But with Janet he saw it more. Much more. She never seemed to want to trust him.

He thought back to certain times when she displayed this lack of trust. About a year ago she had mentioned "jealousy and insecurity." Jealous. Jealous of what?

As he finished fastening his tie, Jack walked back out into the living room where only Chrissy remained.

"How do I look?" He asked, his mind only half focused on receiving an opinion.

"You look great Jack! Only…"

"Only what?"

"Your tie," she said, making a face.

Jack looked down to see that he had tied his tie on wrong. Groaning, he pulled it off and went back into his room. Living with two women, how could he ever think straight, or tie a tie straight for that matter?

__________________________________

Sitting down at the kitchen table with a pad and pen, Janet rested her head in her hand while she tried to figure out what she was going to write in her letter to _Dear Abby_. She didn't usually trust advice columns, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Or perhaps she just needed to get her emotions down onto paper so that she knew they were real and that she wasn't crazy.

She had never planned to fall for someone that she couldn't, or shouldn't, have. She supposed nobody ever really planned on who they fell in love with. Well, there it was. She had said it, in her head anyway. She was in love with Jack Tripper. But could even Dear Abby try and work her way through her puzzling relationship with him?

The room was quiet. She heard Jack and Chrissy talking in the living room and hoped that neither of them would enter the kitchen anytime soon. Biting her lip, she picked up the pen that contained the words "The Regal Beagle" on it and put it to the paper.

As if on cue, Chrissy burst into the kitchen to grab a snack.

"I'm writing a letter to my sister!" Janet yelled impulsively, although Chrissy hadn't even asked.

"Oh…great! Send Jenny my best," Chrissy smiled with a confused look on her face, and, after deciding on an apple, made her way back out of the room.

Looking back at the door to make sure Chrissy, or Jack, weren't about to burst in again, she turned and threw the pen down, sat back and folded her arms, and sighed. "Oh, what does Dear Abby know, anyhow?" she thought. "What does anyone really know when it comes to love?"

There was one thing she did know: that Jack and Chrissy were the best friends that she had ever had. Was love worth risking that for, especially a love that she doubted was returned? No, that she _knew_ was not returned. Thinking back to how upset Chrissy had appeared earlier at the thought of her and Jack together, she decided that love was not worth risking any of that for. So often Janet's logic seemed to win battles against her heart.

But whether or not she realized it, no battle had been won quite yet.

Walking out of the apartment to make his way to the Regal Beagle to meet "Anna the Animal," Jack's thoughts were more focused on Janet than they were on his date. He had not the slightest clue that he might have feelings for Janet in return. He wouldn't pay attention to the possibility because he was so used to blocking any possibility with a woman like Janet out of his mind. So there he was, happily walking on to the Beagle. Ignorance is bliss, after all. But sometimes, ignorance can only last for so long.


	7. Chapter 6: Ignoring Me, A Friend

Thanks again for the reviews, guys! And Anna, no it's not sad that you know which episode I'm referring to…unless it's also sad that I watch the episodes before I write and dissect every little detail of them lol. And to answer your question, I'm covering episodes that I feel were important regarding the relationship between Jack and Janet. For now, it's been about an episode or two per season, but there will be more per season as time goes on. When I hit season 8, for instance, there should be at least three episodes addressed and perhaps even various chapters that result from one episode. The next chapter I post will be the first that doesn't directly address an episode (at least that's what I have planned for now), but does address something that happened during the series. Sorry for typing a novel about that, but I figured an explanation might be needed for everyone just to let all who are interested know how things will go.

Thanks again, and enjoy the next chapter. :)

**Chapter 6: Ignoring Me, a Friend**

_February, 1980_

Jack wouldn't allow himself to fully comprehend what was going on. Subconsciously, he seemed to subdue the idea because he refused to believe it was happening…but it was.

Stepping into Larry's apartment for one of their poker nights, Jack noticed the lights were turned off so he switched them on. In front of him was a sight he didn't care to see every day; it was either Larry making out with a blonde with thick, curly hair, or it was Larry making out with a poodle, Jack couldn't quite tell from the back. He decided on the former as poodles weren't exactly Larry's type.

"Larry!" Jack yelled, "What's going on, you said the guys would be over soon!"

Jumping up and pulling away from the woman, Larry smoothed his shirt out and looked at Jack. "They are, they are! They'll be here any second."

"Good."

"Uh, I hope you don't mind that the 'guys' are girls, Jacko. I sort of forgot about poker night and invited them here instead."

"Larry! You always do this! I mean, I love women as much as the next guy but sometimes a you just need a break!"

A devilish grin formed across Larry's face as he thought about his friend's living situation with Janet and Chrissy. "I bet you do, Jack. I bet you do."

Sighing, Jack replied, "Come on, Larry, I'm serious!"

"Alright, pal, alright…but it might make you feel better to know that Debbie Carey is one of the girls I invited."

Jack gulped and smiled at the name as he began to loosen up at the thought of the woman. "You mean, the one with the long legs and the-," stopping, Jack motioned a large chest with his hands.

"Uh huh," Larry smiled.

"Hurt me," Jack said and jumped over the sofa to get to the poker table quicker.

Later, as Larry was dealing the cards, Jack couldn't help but notice the hand on his knee that just wouldn't let up. Looking over, he smiled at Debbie and looked back at his cards as he fidgeted his entire leg so that Debbie would stop for just one second. She didn't, and Jack let out uncomfortable chuckles sporadically throughout the game.

"You doing alright over there, Jack?" Larry asked with a grin on his face, as he really knew what was going on.

"Peachy, Larry, just peachy," Jack replied with a scowl.

Jack had always had a thing…a thing where, as much of a womanizer as he was, when women came on strongly to him, he began to panic. And panic he did. After letting out one more holler while Debbie began to roam further up his leg, Jack excused himself and made his way to the kitchen 'for a glass of water,' leaving a frowning Debbie behind.

It wasn't that Debbie wasn't his type-his type being a curvaceous woman who wanted sex just a bit more than the average female-it was that, when a woman came on strongly to him, he suddenly realized that he wasn't the only one in control. It worked the other way, too, of course. When a woman would show absolutely no interest in him at all, he would again feel as though he'd lost control…and that scared him. Women like Janet, for instance.

He stopped as he noticed her name pop into his mind once again. It wasn't that he had a crush on her, he assured himself, but rather that-well, he really didn't quite know. Perhaps it was because she always left for him the thrill of the "you can look, but you can't touch." And sometimes even looking wasn't acceptable.

If there was more to all of this, Jack didn't dare look into the situation because he feared the possible conclusions. He wasn't looking for answers; he was only looking for a way to push the confusion out of his mind and to forget it altogether.

Sighing, he reluctantly made his way back out into the living room where Debbie Carey awaited.

______________________________________

The next day, Jack found himself reliving those same emotions all over again. As soon as he realized what she was possibly up to, Jack found himself deeply upset, hurt even. This wasn't like her, and as his mind tried to comprehend what was going on, he began to panic. Janet was making the biggest mistake of her life.

But listening to Chrissy, who at this particular moment suddenly decided to start making sense by stating that she couldn't control her friend's life, Jack had to admit to himself that it was Janet's life after all. He couldn't stop her from hiring a father so that she could have a child, if that's what she really wanted.

He sighed. He had to talk to her.

He noticed the jealousy building up inside of him, although he hated to admit it. He did have his morals after all. But she couldn't have at least asked him? Her best friend? Were mere strangers more worth her time than he was? And why exactly was this whole thing bothering him so much anyway?

As these questions and more enveloped his mind, Jack pulled Janet into the kitchen. If she was going to do this, she was going to do this with him.

They awkwardly sat in the kitchen as Jack tried to explain what was going through his mind and a confused Janet listened. It was hard for him to even talk about such a thing with her because thoughts that he had been trying to push out of his mind became more difficult to ignore. And when Jack saw that she finally understood, and still turned him down, he felt as though he were ready to scream. "Not right for the job?" He thought, completely dumbfounded. Did Janet really think that poorly of him?

He did try to stop himself, however. Instead of thinking about himself, he had to think about her. If this was what she wanted, he knew he shouldn't interfere…and it hurt to admit it. It hurt to think that any of this was happening.

Still, the concern did not go away. He cared too much about her, and so did Chrissy. And when Chrissy finally pulled through (after having a fit and yelling at the man Janet had chosen for the job), and she and Jack realized that Janet was only merely redecorating the bedroom, Jack found himself a bit more relieved than he had cared to admit. And then he wondered if it was going a bit too far to hope that Janet didn't remember what he was really offering in the kitchen.

____________________________

Certainly there was nothing going on between she and Jack, but that didn't stop Janet from continuing to worry about Chrissy. She had come to the conclusion that there were two reasons that she accepted no funny business from Jack: fear and guilt. Luckily, it was easy enough to put on the act; what wasn't so easy was trying to make her feelings go away altogether.

And sometimes she just couldn't help but play with Jack a little…especially when she was so confused she couldn't think straight. At that moment it was a bit of an impulse to jump up and remind Jack of what he had offered in the kitchen earlier. When she had finally found the issue resolved enough to sit back and think, she recalled how he had acted, recalled what he was really talking about. It was endearing to her, honorable…confusing-the concern on his face, the pain in his eyes. Had it really bothered him that much to think of her doing such a thing…without him?

Of course, she'd only be reminding him of it because she would reveal to him that she was only talking about redecorating his room as well. It was a game she was playing. It was all really a game, wasn't it, this mess of emotions they were living with?

Janet laughed at the way Jack acted after she had flirted with him, making him think she was pulling him to his bedroom to have her way with him. Although he now knew what she really meant, he was still a bit shaken up. She had noticed that about him; if he wasn't the one leading, he was terrified.

"Come on Janet," Jack said in a high pitched voice, still a bit nervous, and then corrected himself, "Come on Janet, my room looks just fine."

"For one, the wallpaper is absolutely hideous," Janet said, ignoring him. "And those curtains have got to go."

"I like those curtains!" He moaned.

Ignoring him once more, and making sure Chrissy had left the doorway, Janet turned around to face Jack. "Jack?" she asked, suddenly serious.

"Yeah?" He asked as concern filled his eyes. Now what was she up to?

"Thank you," she said, gazing into his eyes as deep appreciation filled her own.

He didn't bother to ask, because he understood what she was thanking him for. He did offer up his entire life for her, for a baby, after all. Without saying anything, he pulled her in and hugged her and they held each other in silence for those few moments as thoughts entangled their minds, thoughts they both wished would go away so that they could just stand there in that utter silence, let that and only that be their guide.

But the thoughts did come, and silence ultimately lost.

On one hand, Janet's fears latched onto the fact that as much as Jack cared for her, he would never fall for her. No, not a girl like her. And she thought about how, even if he did, there would always be that fear of destroying the friendship they already had to a simple little fight. And she thought about Chrissy, and how when Janet started to jokingly flirt with Jack about earlier, pretending to want something other than to redecorate his room, she began to look upset once more.

On the other, even more complicated emotions swept through Jack. He wouldn't allow himself to fall for Janet, and whenever he found himself getting close, he denied it. The complex situation it would create was one Jack didn't even want to think about. He had decided long ago that a woman like Janet was too good for him, an idea that was confirmed for a moment earlier when she had said he wasn't good enough, albeit for different reasons. But on top of that, he cared so much about her that he hated the thought of ever hurting her in any way if anything were to happen between them.

Pulling back again, but still holding her in his arms, Jack looked into Janet's eyes and smiled, and she smiled in return. For now there were no answers, no explanations. For now all there was, was two friends who truly, deeply cared for one another. For now Jack didn't want any answers-not yet. At that moment, the silence sufficed.


	8. Chapter 7: Moonlight and Christmas Cheer

Sorry the update took so long, but I started school last week and I haven't had as much time to write. Updates are going to take a bit longer now, but I promise that whenever I get the chance I will write! They shouldn't take too, too long, though. Anyway, thanks again for your reviews! They're always appreciated. This chapter is a longer one, so hopefully that makes up for taking so long :p

**Chapter 7: Moonlight and Christmas Cheer**

_1980_

Janet sat in the living room on the table next to the kitchen door as she smiled at the stories her friend was telling her on the phone about back home. Although it was easy to zone out when Chrissy began to tell a story, Janet was just happy to simply hear her voice.

"Oh Janet, and then there's my mother's cat, Louis. You know, I don't think he likes me very much but I don't mind because there's still Mimi the poodle. I never really cared for poodles, but I just love Mimi…" Chrissy went on…and on, causing Janet to temporarily pull the receiver away from her ear and stare at it for a second.

"…of course, I've never really found fish all that exciting so I'm glad we don't have any of those," she finished.

"Well, Chrissy, I'm so glad to hear things are going well at home. Jack and I really miss you."

Pouting, Chrissy said, "Yeah, I miss you guys too. I wish my parents didn't live so far away. I better get going though, these calls are so expensive."

Frowning on the other end of the line, Janet said "Yeah, they sure are. Anyway, Chrissy, give your mother our best."

"Oh, I will. Goodbye," she said, and hung up when Janet repeated the same. Sitting on the countertop in the kitchen, Chrissy swung her legs and looked around the room with little else to do at the moment. She hated that about telephones: feeling as though you were right next to someone one second, and then with one click they disappear.

She sighed as she jumped off of the counter, feeling a bit torn and wondering if she did want to go back to Santa Monica after all. When she had left to go take care of her mother at home, there had been no question in her mind that she would return. But now that she was home, now that she had reconnected with old friends…and then his face flashed into her mind again and she smiled. She hadn't expected to cross paths with David Cheer again…not ever. He had been her first serious boyfriend back in high school. They were inseparable, and her friends had loved to remind her that if she and David were to ever get married, her name would go from Christmas Snow to Christmas Cheer. It had made perfect sense…until he went off to college on the east coast.

But when she had met up with him again, single and confusing Chrissy once more, everything that she had once felt for him suddenly rose to the surface again. It was as if no time had passed and she wasn't a day over eighteen, and she simply couldn't turn him down for a date.

Smiling at the thought of love, Chrissy was reminded of another reason to stay. Perhaps if Jack and Janet were given the time alone, they'd realize what she already did.

____________________________

Janet counted out the money from her paycheck and set aside most of it for the rent. It was difficult not having a third roommate-for practical and emotional reasons. She missed having a little spare cash, but she also really missed her best friend.

Putting her hands on her head and sighing, Janet laid back on the couch. The apartment was eerily silent and she hated it. She would have loved to get out that weekend, but no money meant no fun. And just where was Jack anyway? He hadn't been home when she had gotten back from work, and there was no note left. Worry began to engulf her until, as if on cue, Jack walked into the apartment with a dreamy look on his grinning face.

Janet rolled her eyes and got up. "Alright let me guess. You were just on a date with the most gorgeous woman you have ever seen, with a figure to die for, and of course my personal favorite, she's _so_ different from any other girl you've ever been on a date with."

"You put it that way, Janet, and you take all of the fun out of it."

"Oh!" Janet said, laughing.

"Seriously, were you spying on me or something?" He said smiling and headed to his room to hang his jacket up.

"No, Jack, unfortunately I couldn't afford to spy on you. With Chrissy gone we can barely even afford the rent! How on earth did you find the money to take a girl out on a date?"

"Oh, Jack Tripper always finds a way," he said with a sly grin on his face as he walked back out of his room.

"You borrowed money from Larry again, didn't you?"

"Yes," he said and frowned.

"Well, honestly Jack, you can't keep going on borrowing money at a time like this!"

"I know Janet, but Katherine Osinski…she is really something else."

"Oh, God, Jack and so was Marsha Shaw, Jenny Berrett, and Helen Trawley."

"Well yeah, but…"

"And Rita Clemmons and Carol Reilly…"

"Alright, alright I get it!" He said, and then put on a dramatic pout. "So, I guess what you're saying is I can't be serious about women."

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Jack, which is why it's very wasteful when you're taking out woman after woman on dates when we have no money!"

"Well I'm plenty dedicated to women. You nag on me enough, it's as if we've been married for years!" At those last few words, Jack stopped himself. He looked at Janet. "And it's as if I've been married to Chrissy for years too, of course, for the same reasons."

Janet looked at him and nodded. She wasn't feeling up to trying to comprehend what he had just said. Instead she just said, "And Chrissy's gone."

Jack looked at her and noted the sadness in her voice. Perhaps he shouldn't be making such light of the situation, going out and spending every last dollar he had. He missed Chrissy, too. "She's not gone, Janet. She'll be coming back as soon as her mother gets well again."

Janet looked up at Jack, now with unshed tears forming in her eyes. Forcing them away the best she could, she went on, "Jack, Chrissy called earlier. She's engaged. Our little Chrissy's getting married." Now a genuine smile formed on her face.

Jack formed a grin from ear to ear and then let out a laugh of joy. "Little Chrissy is getting married? That's wonderful!" But just as quickly as the smile had formed, it faded away. "So she's not coming back."

"No, Jack," Janet said, half smiling, and half battling away the tears. "She's not coming back."

_____________________________

The time span during which Jack and Janet were without a third roommate opened new doors in their relationship. New doors that, of course, led to other doors that were still left unopened. Things were changing on the inside; on the outside, the masquerade continued.

The bathroom door opened and Janet ran out with a towel in her hand, finding herself in front of Mr. Furley, who was standing in the living room.

"Oh hi, Mr. Furley, I didn't hear you come in," Janet said with a smile.

Before Mr. Furley could reply, Jack shouted from the bathroom, where he had just gotten done taking a shower. "Janet, give me that towel back!"

Janet rolled her eyes and looked at the closed door to the bathroom. "Not until you give me it, Jack!"

Furley's eyes bulged, assuming the worst of what 'it' could be referring to. "G-g-g-give you what?" he asked Janet on the verge of hyperventilation.

Janet turned back to him to reply, but Jack called from the bathroom again. "Janet, I am in here stark naked. Give me back that towel and then I'll give it to you!"

Janet heaved a sigh. "Oh, fine!" she said, and walked over to the door, opening it only a crack so she could throw the towel in to Jack. "Now, what was it you wanted, Mr. Furley?" Janet said as she turned around, only to find that Furley had fainted. "Oh, Mr. Furley! Mr. Furley, are you alright?" She cried, going over to him and fanning him with her hand.

"Here you go, you big baby," Jack said walking out of the bathroom, handing Janet her razor.

Mr. Furley quickly came to and Janet helped him up. "Oh, Mr. Furley, are you alright?" she asked again.

"Am I alright? Better question is, are you two alright?" He cried, pointing an accusing finger at the two. "Now I don't want any funny business going on around here, you hear? This is a respectable building. I'll have it stay that way, or you two are out. O-U-T out!" He cried, trying his best to seem threatening but failing, and walked out of the door still shaken up.

Janet and Jack both glanced at each other quizzically. "The only thing respectable about this building is the fact that he decided to retire those patchwork pants he used to wear," Jack said sarcastically, causing Janet to laugh in reply.

"Anyway, Jack, that ought to teach you a lesson to never borrow anything of mine again without asking."

"Alright, alright. However can I ever make it up to you?" Jack jokingly pleaded.

"Lunch at the Beagle on you," she replied, as if she had planned the idea all along.

Jack shrugged. "Deal."

___________________________

"Hey guys!" Larry called to Jack and Janet after chatting with a shapely red head at the bar.

"Hey Lar," they both replied simultaneously.

Larry looked at the two and chuckled. "You know, Jack, the funniest thing just happened," he said.

Jack looked up at Larry not expecting anything interesting. "What's that, Larry?"

With a sly grin on his face, Larry continued, "Well, I was talking to that red head over there, and she mentioned that you were cute, but she figured you and Janet were together or something."

Jack, having had looked over at the woman and noticed how beautiful she was, shrieked, "And did you tell her the truth, Larry?"

"Yeah, or course!"

"Oh," Jack grinned, getting ready to get up and go talk to the woman.

"Told her six years, two kids, and going strong. Congrats buddy," he laughed, smacked Jack on the back, winked at Janet, and headed back over to the woman to get her number himself.

"Ugh, that Larry. What a sleaze!" Janet said.

"But he certainly has great taste in women," Jack said shaking his head and looking over at them.

"Sure, if you go for that sort of thing," Janet said, looking into her glass of soda.

Jack looked at Janet's sudden sullen expression. What his type was, he really didn't know anymore. He finally caught her eyes and stared deeply into them, concerned and searching for any meaning he could find. "Not always," he replied, and looked down to find that his hand was now placed on hers. Her eyes did that to him; they made him forget what he feared.

Jack quickly pulled his hand away and managed an awkward smile, and Janet returned one. She wasn't quite sure why he had chosen to say what he'd just said while caressing her hand and looking into her eyes…but she refused to look too deeply into signs that had the possibility of meaning nothing.

But as she lay in bed later that night, she found that the simple incident wouldn't leave her alone. Endless possibilities clawed at her mind and refused to let her sleep. Before she knew it, she was outside by the steps looking at the clear night sky which allowed the moon to shine down magnificently.

Jack lay in bed as well, wondering why he had said what he had said. He was wide awake; even sleep wasn't consuming him as much as his emotions were, as much as his fear of falling in love with Janet was-and he was, although he continued to deny it.

He sighed, got up, and headed to the living room, hoping to clear his mind with a midnight snack…but there she was, outside gazing at the stars, and just as confused as he was. smiled and walked over to the door, leaning on the siding, looking from her to the stars, and then back at her again. She sensed that he was there, and turned around to look at him, prompting him to walk over to her.

She smiled and turned back around, looking up once more. Silence ruled for a moment before Janet spoke. "Ever since I was a little girl…there's always been something about the night sky and all the stars. It makes me feel as if all of our troubles are so small." She looked back at him. Perhaps she would find some meaning in his eyes as well.

And he was lost again. He couldn't think, couldn't question or fear. Her eyes had stolen those things away once more. "I prefer the moon to the stars," he said, staring into her eyes. "You look absolutely lovely under the moonlight." Lost. And he continued to search her eyes before he slowly leaned in to kiss her, their faces soon within centimeters of each other's. But before their lips could touch, Janet leaned her head down to stop it from happening.

"What are you doing?" She whispered, her face still against his.

Jack looked down as well and whispered, "I don't know." And he didn't. He hadn't planned it or even thought about it as it was about to happen. He truly didn't know.

He backed away from her and looked up at the sky as she watched him. For now he could not fathom his problems being small, and meaning nothing…when he feared having someone in his life that meant so much to him.

____________________

Janet shut off the vacuum cleaner when the ringing of the phone gained her attention. She hopped over the cord and picked up the receiver, and before she could say 'hello,' heard Chrissy shrieking on the other line. "Oh Janet, it's so wonderful to be married! I'm so glad you and Jack could make it to the wedding!"

Janet smiled. "Hi Chrissy…or should I say, 'Mrs. Cheer?' Oh honey, I'm so happy for you! The wedding was simply lovely and it was so wonderful to see you."

"It was so great to see you and Jack, too. Ya know, you two haven't changed a bit!"

Janet chuckled. "Chrissy, it had only been a few months since we last saw you."

"Well yeah, but…" Chrissy stopped, thinking about the way that Jack and Janet had acted around each other, how they had always acted around each other, and how she was convinced that she ought to give them space, which was exactly what she had done, and then some. "How are things…with you and Jack?"

"What do you mean, Chrissy?" Janet asked, not sure why Chrissy has phrased the question that way. "Things are fine."

"Are you two still up to your old…" and she stopped to wink, and nudge flirtatiously to show how she felt the two often acted, only Janet could obviously not see this happening.

"Chrissy, I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about." And honestly, she didn't…not quite in the way Chrissy was putting it.

Chrissy sighed. Perhaps she had been wrong about them all along. Perhaps there was nothing there. "So you do need a third roommate…" Chrissy trailed off, suddenly realizing that if the two weren't going to be living alone together, which she had expected would be done if they were to become involved, that they would need a new third roommate.

"Oh, desperately, Chrissy. Jack and I are really finding it hard to make ends meet!"

Chrissy frowned, feeling very foolish for focusing on an attraction between the two that may or may not be there, and ignoring the fact that they would need money. "Oh Janet, I'll do whatever I can to help out."

After the two had finished their phone conversation, Chrissy sat back in her chair, even more confused than usual. Hadn't there been something there between the two? Hadn't she sensed it? But she didn't dare to blatantly bring up the topic to either one of them should she be wrong and offend them. And she now found herself feeling a bit disappointed, having already come from an acceptance of the two to feeling very happy for them. Sighing, she decided that perhaps some things would always remain a mystery…a mystery that she felt wasn't her business to unclose.

Still feeling guilty, she scraped her mind for ideas. Who did she know that needed a place to stay? And then a smiled formed on her face as it hit her; Cindy would be absolutely perfect.


	9. Chapter 8: Her eyes will say go

Sorry it took so long this time, guys. Hope you enjoy. I feel like the story is kind of slow and repetitive at this point, but it will pick up. :)

**Chapter 8: Her eyes will say "go"**

_January 1981_

It had been almost two months, but Janet still found herself going over and over that moment when Jack had tried to kiss her, wondering what had possessed him to do that, wondering what he was feeling…and wondering why she had stopped it. She had come to the conclusion a long time ago that Jack didn't feel the same way about her that she felt about him, and it took all she could to force her feelings away…and then this. The shock of it all had caused her to push away, and now the chance was lost once more with the entrance of a new roommate into the picture.

Cindy was just as sweet, loveable, and naïve as Chrissy was and Janet found herself taking a liking to her almost immediately. At first she had wondered if Cindy had noticed the slight tension between her and Jack, but she concluded that she hadn't. How could she, when there was no evidence of it? The two were easily able to act as though the incident had never even occurred.

Janet noticed that Jack certainly didn't have any trouble forgetting the incident. Different women seemed to waltz in and out of his life…and then there was Cheryl, whom he seemed a bit more serious about. It frustrated Janet. It wasn't that she had expected any more out of Jack, it wasn't that she had ever really expected him to show particular attention to her; it was that, when he did, if only for a moment, it was so easy for him to ignore it as if it were a dream-a dream that is so wonderful in the moment, but upon waking seems to slip away from memory.

So if he was going to act as though there was nothing there, so was she. Pretending was something that she had found she had a great talent for. Putting on a happy face was second nature.

And so, it was the perfect opportunity to spite Jack by agreeing to go out with his girlfriend's father, Andrew. She felt that he was a sweet enough man that it would be no trouble at all having a good time with him.

Jack, on the other hand, stood there content with the monster he had created in Andrew; he was proud of the hip, modern guy he had turned his girlfriend's father into. And then the next moment, Janet became Andrew's target. As he began to sweet-talk Janet, Jack began to panic. She couldn't go out on a date with a man Jack had trained to be like himself…he'd destroy the poor girl! If she were going to go out with any fool like Jack, it was going to be Jack. And it wasn't going to be him, he knew. It wasn't going to be him because it couldn't be him.

He winced as he heard Andrew suggest to Janet that they go to "The Blue Grotto," the restaurant Jack had told him he always took women whom he wanted to get in the mood. He saw Janet's bright smile and her sparkling eyes as she walked out the door with Andrew, and his date with Cheryl instantly became unimportant. Janet was all he could think about right now. He found any excuse he could to go after her and he did, reluctantly bringing Cheryl along.

But naturally Jack's paranoia only caused more trouble, and him interfering in Janet and Andrew's date not only angered Janet, but it angered Cheryl as well. He sulked as he was left alone in The Blue Grotto to ponder what had just happened. Cheryl had dumped him, Janet was angry at him, and he didn't know whether or not he simply didn't trust Andrew with Janet, or if he was jealous.

But why should he be jealous? Janet was his friend and she had a right to do whatever she wanted to. Why did the incident cause a rush of anxiety, a compelling urge to get Andrew away from Janet?

He got up only half thinking, nearly tripping on the mess of chairs surrounding him, and began to walk back to the apartment to apologize to Janet. Not necessarily for what had just happened, but for what had almost happened weeks ago. He was convinced that when he had tried to kiss Janet, he wasn't in his right senses.

The bustle of the city around him made it hard for Jack to think clearly. Passing a young couple that was clearly in love, he wondered why such things weren't so easy for him. And then he wondered why such a thought was haunting him when he was worrying about Janet. It didn't make sense to him. He still wouldn't let it. That moment that night was merely a heat of the moment situation. It didn't stem from love or passion, he tried to convince himself, but from a sporadic moment of lust. It had to be because it was a much simpler explanation. It would be a quicker resolution. And he wouldn't have to worry about feeling pain nor causing it.

_________________________

Jack stood in the living room embarrassed as water trickled down his shirt. Janet, upset once again, never held back an opportunity to splash something at Jack when she was angry at him. And she was livid. So, naturally, Janet knocked the bowl of soapy water Jack had in his hands all over him.

How could he? First, completely putting that one night behind him, and then proceeding to give Andrew horrible ideas on how to treat women?

Glaring back at him, she tried to convey her feelings with her eyes and he sighed, somewhat understanding her.

"I'll go get some more soapy water to get that stain out, Mr. Gaynor," Cindy said amidst the awkward silence, and left the room.

Andrew nodded and then stood there, fidgeting uncomfortably as his eyes focused on the other two left in the room. "I'm really, very sorry about everything. This is entirely my fault."

"What? No, Andrew, this is not your fault," Janet said walking over to him and smiling to ease his apparent discomfort with the situation. "It's one hundred perfect Jack's fault," she said, glancing back at Jack with another glare, and then turned back to Andrew.

Jack sighed and nodded with a forlorn expression on his face, acknowledging his own stupidity. "I, um, just gonna go change," he said and began to head to his room. Janet looked at him, almost feeling a bit bad as he walked toward his room like a sad puppy.

"Jack, wait," Andrew said, causing Jack to pause in front of him and Janet. Andrew turned toward Janet once more. "No, Janet, this is my fault. It's my fault because I should have seen it."

Janet looked at Andrew quizzically and replied, "You should have seen what?"

Andrew smiled at her and then looked over her shoulder to Jack. Without saying another word, he walked back into Janet's room to retrieve his wine stained pants, which he then took into the kitchen to clean with Cindy. All the while, Jack and Janet stood there in silence trying to understand what Andrew was trying to imply.

But Janet knew. And a part of Jack knew, too. The part of him that wasn't afraid to deny it. The part of him that wasn't afraid, period. That part knew why he ran after Janet when she was on her date with Andrew. It knew why he blew off his date with Cheryl for Janet. It knew why he tried to kiss her that night.

Janet looked up at Jack with an apologetic expression, although her anger was still there. As nicely as she could she said, "I still think you're an idiot."

Her honesty put a smile on Jack's face. "Well, at least you're being honest."

Still looking up at him and shaking her head, she went on, "I just don't understand you sometimes, Jack."

"I don't understand myself half the time."

"I'm going to go help Andrew and Cindy," she said, unsatisfied with his reply.

"Janet, wait."

She stopped immediately at his words and turned around, hopeful that he would say more. Hopeful that he would say what she wanted to hear.

"I know what's been on your mind because it's been on my mind, too," he said, staring as deeply into her eyes as he could for the distance between them: she near the end of the sofa, and he still near his bedroom door. Janet said nothing and he went on, "I wasn't thinking, Janet. I'm sorry, I never planned that to happen that night and I'm glad you stopped me. It was wrong of me to do. I know we agreed a long time ago to never"-

"It's fine," Janet said nonchalantly, although she was really trying her best to hold back tears. There he was taking it all back. She had expected it and yet she was still taken by surprise. She knew that she was the one that had stopped the kiss from happening, but she didn't think that Jack would completely regret it; he had initiated it after all. But he had. He had regretted it, and she couldn't do this anymore. She subconsciously touched her heart and nodded. "It's fine," she said again, half talking to herself as well, half talking to her heart. It would be okay, she was thinking. It wouldn't hurt so much once she pushed Jack Tripper out of her heart.

"I just didn't want that lingering around us. I saw that it upset you…I just didn't know what to say." He stared into her eyes again, seeing pain but not realizing the extent of it. "Sorry." And he went into his room.

He didn't mean it, but he wasn't lying when he said he wasn't thinking that night. When he had tried to kiss Janet his mind wasn't in control; his heart was. But he didn't mean it when he said he was sorry. He never regretted any moment with her.

Jack had ignored the entire situation because he was still afraid. Love was terrifying enough…but falling for a friend, a best friend, was far beyond that.

"Are young people always this foolish?" Andrew half jokingly asked Cindy in the kitchen.

She smiled, but with a concerned expression on her face as she continued to worry about her two roommates. She hadn't lived there long, but she knew. Chrissy hadn't bothered to tell her about the strange relationship between Jack and Janet because, by the time she had moved out, she had begun to doubt it again. So Cindy was left to figure it out on her own. She played the fool along with them, but she was no fool. "Not always," she replied to Andrew.

"So you see it, too?" He asked.

"Yeah. And I know in their hearts, so do they."


	10. Chapter 9: It Won’t Bother Me At All

Sorry it took so long guys, school is owning my life lol and it's been difficult to actually sit down and write. But don't you worry, these updates will come sooner or later. And with that being said, here's one right now. ;)

And, as always, thank you for the reviews. I really appreciate them. Ilovetowrite, thank you for your compliments on the banter because I really do try to add that in and stay true to the show and the heart of it. It's not TC without laughter, even though it is a more serious aspect of the show that I'm covering. Again, thanks to all of you!

**Chapter 9: It Won't Bother Me At All**

_October 1981_

Where roommates came and went, Jack and Janet always seemed to remain, firmly planted, just as unmoving in their physical surroundings as they were in their emotions. Looking around her bedroom, Janet checked for anything that might be out of place. Finding nothing wrong, she decided to fluff up the pillows on her new roommate's bed for the tenth time. Looking around once more, she smiled contentedly, clasping her hands. Terri wouldn't arrive for another hour and everything was perfect.

But in natural Janet fashion, she was worried…not so much about whether or not Terri would like her or if they'd all get along, but whether or not Terri would find an interest in Jack. Or, worse yet, whether or not Jack would find an interest in Terri. She stopped a moment, realizing the jealousy such thoughts implied. But at this point in her relationship with Jack, it was not something she was as readily able to admit. At this point, she continued to reassure herself there was nothing there. If Jack didn't want there to be, neither did she.

Wants and hopes, however, weren't as strong as her feelings for Jack…and ultimately there was little she could do about her subconscious. Jealousy and insecurity were still very alive.

Heading to the living room to straighten up some more, she found Jack lying on the couch completely oblivious.

"Gosh, Jack, do you always have to be so darn lazy?"

"Mmhm," Jack said not really paying attention as he tossed a chip into his mouth and continued to read the newspaper.

Janet rolled her eyes and began to dust things off, glancing over at Jack every now and then. Did men always have to be so oblivious? Did they always have to completely shut everything out?

But she didn't care anymore, she told herself. "I don't care," she quietly uttered to herself as she mindlessly wiped a part of the table by the kitchen door that she had already wiped.

"What don't you care about?" Jack asked, looking up from the paper?

Now he pays attention. Janet started to say something, but stopped and put on a fake smile, mimicking pleasantness. "Nothing, nothing." She sighed, her smile disappearing, feeling as if she were overreacting a bit.

"You sure?" he asked. He knew something was on her mind. There always was…he just didn't always know what.

"Yeah," she said with a reassuring smile, and continued her dusting.

Her spiral of worry often seemed to get the best of her, however. The lies she had been telling herself for months were no match; she still had feelings for him deep down. Did he even think about her? Looking at him reading the paper, unaware of any emotions that showed on her face, she concluded that no, he did not.

_**__________________________**_

After all the trouble he had caused for Terri when he had first met her, Jack hoped he would have some alone time with her so that he could get to know her better and for her to see he wasn't really a completely horrible person.

But she had that seductive voice! What was she doing to him? What was going on beneath that blonde head of hair of hers? Get to know him better-_really_ know him? What was she trying to pull? He panicked. Her eyes drew him in, but he panicked. And when Jack panicked…he made jokes.

Similar panic surged through Janet as she spelled out the word "trust" on the scrabble board in Mr. Furley's apartment. She tapped her nails impatiently on the table while Mr. Furley placed his own tiles on the board painfully slow. "Alright, you win!" she shouted and jumped up off of the chair to leave.

"Hold it!" Furley said, glaring at her. "You're still ahead. Now, I intend to win and I intend to win tonight!"

Janet sat back down, shaking her leg unable to sit still.

The same energy spun through Jack's mind upstairs, but he was on a roll with his storytelling. He held Terri's hand, still looking into her eyes though he didn't quite know why, and explained to her the time when he was seven and his older brother convinced him that he was a lost Munchkin and belonged back in Oz. It was hard to keep a straight face as he told the lie, but the humor eased his discomfort and made the deep glare of Terri's eyes less potent.

At that moment, Terri was relieved that she was a good actress. She continued to feign interest to make Jack feel better, struggling to keep a straight face herself. If Jack was getting over an old flame, as Larry had suggested, it was her intent as a friend to comfort him.

Janet ran out of Furley's apartment, nearly tripping in her heels as she ran up the stairs, and burst through the door to find Jack and Terri with their arms around each other. Her blood boiled. She had to talk to Terri.

_________________________

"_**And if you've got something going with Jack, it won't bother me at all."**_ All through the next day, Terri's words rung through Janet's ears. She was more relieved than she would've liked to have admitted that Terri really wasn't coming on to Jack…but those words. What was she saying? A third roommate had never suggested such a thing before. The possibility of anything going on between she and Jack in the past had caused Chrissy to feel uncomfortable. And while Cindy had never said much about the idea, she had never come right out and said that it would be okay, either.

The flower shop was slow that day and Janet found little distraction to replace the worries that flashed inside of her. She leaned on the counter as she waited for Jack to pick her up for lunch, the ritual on Wednesday afternoons. She rested her head in one hand while she twirled a rose that had been lying there in the other. Finally she heard the bell on the door jingle and looked up to find Jack walking in with his usual goofy grin.

"Hey babe, ready to go?"

"Yes, I'm starved!" she said as she headed to the back room to grab her purse.

"I asked Terri to come, but I guess she was too busy at the hospital," Jack said as Janet returned.

Janet frowned. "The hours that girl puts in," she sighed. She stopped for a moment as she let out a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing it's just…just something Terri said last night."

Janet stopped her explanation there with a smile remaining on her face as Jack continued to look at her, waiting for her to continue. Almost laughing at Janet's amusement himself he said, "Well, what did she say?"

"Oh, nothing," she said, hoping he wouldn't inquire any further. "You had to have been there sort of thing," she said, and let out another chuckle.

"Well now you _have_ to tell me."

Janet paused at that point, now wishing she hadn't said anything, but quickly rambled, "Oh, just something silly about if you and I had anything going on she'd be fine with it. Gosh, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. Where did you want to go?" She said trying to quickly overlap what she had said as she walked out the door with a confused Jack following closely behind.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait," Jack repeated as they began to make their way down the sidewalk and past the bustle of the city, the sounds of horns and the conversations of others trumpeting around them. Almost about to laugh as if Terri's words were a joke, he went on, "You mean she actually said that?"

"Well yeah, she did. I was a bit shocked myself."

"I'll say," he said a bit stunned. "It doesn't sound like something a typical woman would say. Most women get stark raving mad when they see another woman touch me." Jack made a mock smug face and began to walk with a macho effect.

"You are unbelievable!" Janet said, genuinely angered by his words.

"Unbelievably sexy," he smirked, continuing to walk the same way. "But it is true," he said, partially referring to Janet's own actions as a result of jealousy the previous night.

A nearby car honked and startled Janet, only aggravating her more. "Let's just not discuss this right now, okay?"

"Not discuss what?" Jack said, not realizing the extent of what was going through her mind and still set on his jokes.

"I-I don't know," she replied. "Nothing."

Now Jack was confused. Janet had always been a bit touchy and worrisome, but he had begun to notice it more and more lately.

Why? Because you're driving me insane! Janet thought as she looked at Jack, reading his questioning expression. It was always a joke with him…jokes that always led to confusion. But she knew that a part of it was her own fault. She was smarter than that, she was stronger than that, to let things get to her. This had all been going on for too long, this inner struggle. She found herself mostly upset that Jack himself seemed to not even acknowledge that any such struggle existed. It was as if he didn't realize anything was going on. She stared at the street sign until it allowed the pedestrians to walk and then looked down. But who was she kidding? Literally speaking, there was nothing going on after all.

Making their way across the street, Jack grabbed Janet's hand and held onto it tightly regardless of the tension he sensed. He looked over at her, looking quizzically into her eyes and looking back up when she did not return his gaze. Once they had reached the other side of the street he began, "I just need to get this straight."

"What?"

"Basically you're telling me that I could have my way with you and Terri wouldn't mind?"

Janet was amused at his straightforward ridiculousness, but covered up a forming smile with an angered expression. "Eat your heart out. I never told you that you could have your way with me!"

"But hypothetically…"

"You are ridiculous, Jack!" Janet laughed as they walked hand in hand to the restaurant. No matter how hard she tried, it was impossible to stay mad at him. She hated that effect he had over her.

Jack, too, laughed as they continued making their way down the sidewalk. Once the laughter had subsided his thoughts began to wander. Perhaps it was because Terri wasn't used to the living arrangement that she suggested she didn't care about the possibility of a romantic relationship between the other two roommates. Perhaps she really just didn't care. But if that were the case, if Terri hadn't even flinched at suggesting the idea, why was Janet so strikingly different in her opinions of such a possibility? Why did it matter so much to her?

He looked over Janet as she let out a sigh, her thoughts appearing to be in the clouds. If only he could get inside her head. If only he knew what she was thinking.


	11. Chapter 10: May I Have This Dance?

Hey everyone. Once again, thank you for the kind reviews. This next chapter is a bit short, but only because I felt it accomplished what it needed to in just a short amount of space. Enjoy, and I'll try to make the next chapter a bit longer (and hopefully come a bit sooner). :)

**Chapter 10: May I Have This Dance?**

_November 1981_

Jack felt the wetness of Janet's tears upon his neck as he held her close, slowly swaying to the music but barely noticing it was even there. Her sobs softened as the song faded to an end, but that didn't stop them from moving. They said nothing as she rested her head on his shoulder, not wanting to look up.

He knew Janet hated to show her vulnerable side…that she hated not being in control. He knew she hated to cry. He knew that about her, and so he said nothing. Hugging her close, all he could think to do was to softly sing as he provided the words to the song they were dancing to.

"Time we've learned to sail above…time won't change the meaning of one love, ageless and ever, evergreen."

She was the one to stop. Wiping away her tears, she finally looked up at him. Whether or not she had intended them to, her eyes conveyed such yearning and longing as she looked into his. She had never respected him-never loved him-more than she did at that moment. She knew she had doubted his intentions far too often and yet, in the end, he was always there for her. He was always on her side.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you," she whimpered, barely able to make out the words as the tears began to form again.

"I'm sorry I was right," he said, still staring into her eyes. He hated to see her in such pain, with her dreams of becoming a dancer crushed by this Michael, this pervert…it had taken every fiber of Jack's being to spare him when he saw him coming on to Janet. And he knew that the only thing that had stopped him was the need to get to Janet and to comfort her.

Janet backed away not sure what to do next. She turned around and absentmindedly ran her hand across the radio as her thoughts made everything around her disappear. Everything but Jack. He looked at her, concerned but not sure what to say.

Gazing up she saw a sign posted to the wall in front of her. "Not responsible for lost items," it read. She could have laughed at the irony if she weren't too busy crying. She had lost her dream. Without turning back around she began, "It'd been my dream since I was a little girl. I remember moving furniture out of the way in our living room, sometimes forcing my brother to dance with me and be Fred Astaire while I was Ginger Rogers. Then my father would see what I did to the furniture and he'd yell and yell…" She finally cracked a smile at the memories, whilst she simultaneously wiped a tear away. "I took so many classes as a kid and then I…I don't know, I just gave up. My parents always said it wasn't a realistic goal. But then Michael, he made me feel confident about my passion again. He gave me hope." She stopped again and then looked over at Jack. "And then he took it right back."

"You can't let him take that away from you," Jack began.

"Oh Jack, why shouldn't I? After all, I'm not really that great of a dancer anyway."

"Hey," he said, walking closer to her. "You're a wonderful dancer. You tore up that whole stage at the show the other day."

"Yeah, because I was tripping all over it," she finally joked.

"Only once or twice."

"Three times."

They both managed to smile at her keeping count, unknowingly mimicking what Mr. Furley had said after the show the other day.

"As a kid I wasn't exactly getting the best parts. I tried my darndest, Jack, but I was never a particularly wonderful dancer. It was Michael that made me feel like I was."

"But Janet, you don't need him to feel wonderful. You don't need anyone but yourself for that."

She looked up at him. Never before had she heard such wise words spoken from his mouth. The sincerity made her want to lean up and kiss him…kiss him for always being there for her, kiss him for comforting her when she needed it the most, kiss him for the love that she felt radiating from him.

But she didn't.

Nodding, she acknowledged that he was right. She then stood there, looking down, still unable to urge herself to move from the spot that she was in. Suddenly, she felt him grab her arm and her body move forward as he pulled her closer to him again. The next thing she knew, his lips were on hers, if only for a short moment. Breaking away, their faces still close to one another, his eyes penetrating hers, he whispered, "I love you, Janet. And I'll always be here for you."

The words that fell from his lips came as a bit of a surprise to Jack. Of course he loved her, for she was his best friend. Yet the way he had said them, how they had just flowed out without him really thinking, shocked him and caused him to wonder in just what way he meant them.

Janet closed her eyes. She knew Jack, and she knew the love that he was expressing was a love of friendship and of deep concern and respect. But perhaps if she closed her eyes, perhaps if she imagined it differently, it might seem as though he had meant it another way.

Her eyes were still closed as she whispered back, "I love you too, Jack. And thank you."


	12. Chapter 11: The Wrong Girl

Once again, thank you everyone for your reviews. Talulahs, your review really made me smile. A bedtime story? Um, yes please! Ha. And I understand your issue with consistency. Part of the point of this whole story is to try and explain things that were inconsistent and tie them together so that they make sense. With a sitcom, that's not so easy. But I am myself a comedy freak, and I'm in love with Three's Company and shows just like it. From the beginning I felt that Jack and Janet should be together, and believe it or not a good portion of the people I know agree. It just…makes sense. Anyway, enough with my rambling. Sorry for making you guys wait again. I now present you with chapter 11. :)

**Chapter 11: The Wrong Girl**

_February 1982_

"Damned doorknob," Terri muttered as she wiggled the loose handle with one hand while balancing a bag of groceries with the other. Finally getting the lock to unlatch, she pushed the door open with her foot and staggered inside, where she found Janet sitting on the sofa attempting to do paperwork for the flower shop, but failing as she stared absentmindedly ahead.

"Hey Janet," she said. When Janet didn't respond, Terri set the groceries down on the table and made her way over to the sofa to get a better look at Janet's face. "Janet?" She snapped her fingers in front of Janet's face, who proceed to jump and then look up at her friend.

"What'd you do that for?" She asked with a confused expression on her face.

"How else was I going to get you out of your trance?" Terri sighed and sat down next to Janet. "Look, Janet, I'm just as worried about him as you are, but for God sakes you can't let it consume you!"

"Consume me? I'm not! Look at all of the work I got done," Janet retorted, looking down at her paper work, which included various doodles and random words. She looked up at Terri and timidly smiled, embarrassed.

Deciding to be easy on Janet, Terri ignored what she saw and went on, "I just wish Jack wasn't so darn stupid."

"I don't think he's stupid, Terri, so much as he's…he's just so blind."

Terri looked over at Janet, whose face appeared to be consumed by genuine confusion, annoyance, and hurt. Terri herself looked down, trying to contemplate the situation. From the day she'd first met her two roommates, she'd sensed a complicated history. For a time she'd even thought that Jack and Janet were romantically involved. And she hadn't minded the idea; it seemed to make sense. And even when she found out that there was nothing actually going on between the two, she never doubted for a moment that feelings were there, whether or not each of them realized it.

She looked over at Janet again who had gotten up to put the groceries away. Something told her that Janet realized it more than Jack did. Jack, who was engaged to a woman he'd only known for little over a week- a woman it seemed he could hardly love after she forced him to change his demeanor, his life, and his career. Terri couldn't stand Denise, and there was no doubt that Janet couldn't either.

She got up and made her way to the kitchen and began to help. "Janet?"

"Yeah, Ter?"

"Has Jack always been this way?"

"Been what way?"

"Well, you know…the type that goes absolutely gaga for someone they barely know, and falls head over heels for someone who's absolutely horrible for them?"

Janet stopped. "Well more than anything he's just always really been your average lady's man, chasing after any pretty young thing he could find. But to the degree he's been with Denise…it's something completely new. It's not like him, Terri."

"I didn't think so…" Pausing for a moment, she began again, "Janet, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Terri, go right ahead."

"Do you…I mean, have you ever…regarding the way you feel about him…"

"Regarding the way I feel about who? What are you trying to say, Terri?" Janet asked, slightly amused as Terri stumbled through her words.

Terri paused, afraid to continue asking what she really wanted to know; did Janet really have feelings for Jack?

"Terri?" Janet chuckled.

Terri simply smiled blankly at her friend. "Uh…it'd be 'whom.'"

"What?"

"Regarding the way you feel about 'whom', not 'who.'"

"Terri, will you quit dodging the point? What are you trying to say?"

Just as Terri opened her mouth and was about to speak, Jack burst into the kitchen singing. "And I'll send all my loving to you," he droned as he grabbed Terri and spun her around, her expression startled and slightly annoyed. He pointed at Janet as he held Terri. "You're next Janet." He then sighed dreamily. "Isn't Denise wonderful?"

Janet clenched her fists in anger trying to stop herself from screaming and walked out of the kitchen rolling her eyes.

"What's her problem?" Jack asked Terri.

Pulling away from Jack, she angrily stared him in the eye. "Nothing, Jack. Everything is just fine and dandy," she replied sarcastically before she too left the kitchen, leaving a confused Jack behind.

* * *

When the girls had decided to talk to Jack about Denise once and for all, Janet had assumed she and Terri would do so together. But Terri had different plans. It wasn't that Terri was afraid to talk to Jack about the situation-quite the contrary. She loved putting people in their places. But when she saw the nervous look on Janet's face, she couldn't resist. She knew that it was Janet that needed to tell him Denise was the wrong girl for him, because she felt that Janet was quite possibly the right one. Instead of walking into Jack's bedroom with her, she pushed Janet into his room and closed the door, and put her ear up against it to listen.

* * *

Jack was heartbroken when he finally realized what Denise had been doing to him. He had truly believed that she was the one. He made his way over to the sofa, slumped down, and put his head in his hands. He had cancelled the honeymoon, and that meant that it was real-it was over now.

Janet and Terri walked over and sat down on either side of him, Terri hugging him as Janet rubbed his arm to comfort him.

"You sure you're gonna be okay?" Janet asked.

Looking up, Jack forced a smile. "Yeah," he said. "I guess I'm mostly just bothered by the fact that I allowed myself to be so blind."

"Well, we're glad you can see now," Terri said, feeling as though she had used the term loosely. He didn't quite see everything yet. Not quite sure why, but yet wanting to leave Jack and Janet alone, Terri got up and headed toward the kitchen. "I'm going to go make some coffee," she said and disappeared.

Janet looked up at Jack trying to read him. He didn't move as she entwined her fingers with his. Looking over at her, this time his smile, though slight, was genuine. And then he laughed.

Startled, Janet asked, "What's so funny?"

"How could I have been so stupid?" he blurted.

"Oh, it's not that shocking," Janet cracked, and then cowered as Jack playfully attempted to hit her with a pillow. "Hey, no hitting! We helped saved your life, remember?"

Pulling back, he replied, "You sure did…I guess I'm just not that good at it."

"Not that good at what?"

"Love."

There was a pause. Hearing the word 'love' come from his lips while she sat so close to him caused her heart to race a bit. Before the silence grew awkward, he spoke again.

"Janet, I was so sure that I loved her…that I was in love with her, but I was so wrong." He looked over at her and shrugged. "I guess I'm not that good at figuring out what love really is."

His words made Janet afraid to say anything for fear that something might slip, just as she had almost let what she felt for him slip earlier in his bedroom as she told him how wrong Denise was for him. She'd been terrified after Terri pushed her into the room to face Jack alone, blurting out how everything was wrong, how he was marrying the wrong girl…and she was almost sure that she would have said more if he didn't accuse her of being jealous that he was getting married and she wasn't.

Breaking out of her reverie, she finally spoke. "Jack I, um…I think you got very lucky."

"I'll say."

"Well I mean, look at it as a learning experience. Now when the right girl comes along you'll know what to look for." She scolded herself. 'Comes along?' her mind shrieked. 'But I'm right here.'

Jack pulled Janet in for a hug and suddenly realized how guilty he felt for accusing her of being jealous of him. He knew that Janet could be a rather jealous person sometimes, but he also knew that the size of her heart would never allow jealousy to come in the way of a friend's happiness. And even though she had tried, her criticizing his engagement to Denise was not what opened his eyes about his former fiancé; it was when Denise put down two of the people he cared about most that he finally saw what kind of person she was. As much as he joked about it, to hear somebody seriously accuse him of fooling around with Janet or Terri sickened him-to think that he'd ever treat either of them that way.

He sighed and rested his head on Janet's, which now rested on his shoulder. The sincerity in her opinion of his engagement now sunk in; she knew more about him than he knew about himself. He only wished it weren't so hard for him to see love himself and to know when a woman was right for him and when she was not. Perhaps that's why he chased so many women that truly meant nothing to him; it was easier that way because that way he couldn't be wrong.

But most of all, he wondered why Denise suddenly changed that way of thinking in him and caused him to want to settle down. He assumed maybe it was her controlling demeanor that wouldn't allow him to think otherwise. But it didn't matter to him now, he told himself. Now when the right person came along, he'd be able to see it for himself.


	13. Chapter 12: I Never Realized

Thank you, thank you again for your reviews and comments. It means so much to me! Lola, yes I know what episode you're talking about! It's a very, very important one. As far as it's involvement in this story, I'll say no more for now ;).

Much love to you all. I now present you with the longest chapter so far, and perhaps one of my personal favorites. Enjoy. :)

**Chapter 12: I Never Realized How Lovely You Are**

_May 1982_

Recovering from his fall, Jack assured the girls that he was not listening in on their conversation. He told them that he was simply leaning on the door as he stretched his legs. "It's a nice night for a run. Do either of you girls want to go for a run?" He pathetically inquired.

Still trying to regain her composure after breaking down with laughter, Janet's glowing eyes looked up at Jack as she tried to stifle another giggle. Only moments before Janet had recalled her "computer date" with Jack to Terri, both girls knowing full well that Jack was listening in on their conversation on the other side of the door. She had jokingly told Terri that she could see herself falling for Jack before Terri opened the door and Jack literally did fall.

"Oh, trying to run off all of that hot steam from our date?" Janet joked, as she and Terri both broke down again. Jack shrugged and forced an awkward smile. Regaining herself once more, Janet went on, "I'm sorry Jack. I'm sorry…we just couldn't resist."

"Oh well aren't you two just a couple of comedians? A regular Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett," he sarcastically quipped back, even though he couldn't help but let their laughter rub off on him. Pausing for a moment, he grabbed Terri's pillow and leaped on the bed, and playfully hit Janet with it. After a startled shriek, she grabbed her own and hit him back. Terri chuckled as she snuck into the living room to grab another from the sofa before she started to hit them both and an all out pillow war ensued.

After a minute or two it subsided, and Jack fell on the floor in defeat as Janet hit him one more time. "I'll claim that as a victory," she said, looking down at him as he dramatically played dead.

Terri nudged him with her foot. "Now get up. I want to go to bed."

Jack opened one eye and smiled slyly. "I thought you'd never ask," he said, and Terri kicked him even harder before he got up and jokingly moped out of the room, turning around by the door to say 'goodnight.'

"And Janet? If you let me re-do that kiss maybe I'll forget about your share of the bill."

"Oh Jack!" Janet yelled, and threw a pillow at him, which he blocked by shutting the door.

Alone on the other side of the door Jack chuckled as he made his way to his room. But he was afraid to be alone all of a sudden-afraid that certain thoughts would make their way to the surface now that there was no one there to distract him from them. He didn't understand why that for the past few hours his heart had been beating faster and louder than he had ever remembered. Of course, the falling and hitting didn't help matters, but even now that the rough play was over, his heart beat didn't seem to slow down at all. Not one bit…and it scared him.

To think that a machine-a computer with its wires and hard drives and whatever else it was made out of, with its solid logic and lack of a heart-would know anything about love didn't quite make sense even to him, who knew fairly little himself. But yet it had managed, somehow, to bring someone to him that he never in a million years would have ever thought…and yet standing here alone now, as thoughts, feelings, heart beats raced, he couldn't help but think that it made at least some sense…for him to be paired with her-with Janet.

He could still hear the girls giggling and talking in the other room as he changed into his pajamas, a faint yet troubled smile still remaining on his face. All his life, after any successful date with a woman, he went home beaming and giddy. He stood there now puzzled and afraid.

Jack was no fool. He was merely stubborn and fearful of anything out of the ordinary. He was aware of what he felt, what he was now sure he had felt for some time, but he was so set in his ways that it hadn't been hard for him to deny it all to himself. And he did, until it was made so blatantly obvious that he couldn't any longer.

On that date, he was hypnotized once more by her dark, sparkling eyes. Once again they stole away his petty logic and allowed his heart to reign, if only for the moment that he had told her how lovely she was…

But this time his logic was so utterly damaged that it didn't bounce back. He couldn't deny what he felt now, at least not to himself-for suddenly he was able to understand a bit better what true love was. He'd had to have been hit on the head for him to actually realize it, but he did nonetheless. Love wasn't just a giddy feeling, a beaming smile, or not being able to stop thinking about someone. It wasn't happy or sad or up and down. There was no cut and dry with love; it was something that reached inside of a person and mixed everything around, caused someone to deny it when it was there and believe in it when it wasn't, and made everything backwards and forwards at the same time. It tapped someone on the shoulder and hid while the person tried to figure out what had just hit him. It hugged you, embraced you, and smiled at you while it teased you and tormented you at the same time.

His head was spinning. He laid down on his bed, positive he would never be able to fall asleep as every moment of the date repeated in his head. And hours later, as his eyes finally began to get heavy, the last things on his mind before he fell asleep were her eyes.

* * *

Attempting to simultaneously walk and put his pants on, Jack hopped over to the ringing phone, nearly tripping as he made his way over the single step. "Hello?" he huffed into the phone out of breath as he went to button his pants. The sleepless night had caused him to get up a bit later than he had hoped to-one in the afternoon to be exact-and he was doing his best to look presentable before anyone saw him.

"Jack?" He heard on the other end.

"Yeah…who's this?"

"It's me, Joan! Joan Ferguson!" The woman said. It was the old friend of Jack and Janet's that, along with her husband, had suggested computer dating.

"Joanie! It's nice to hear from you again!"

"Well, Jack, I just had to call. Tom and I were dying to know if you tried out the computer dating service that we suggested."

Jack paused, afraid to admit that he had after he had put computer dating down the other night. He then went on, "Well as a matter of fact…I did."

"You did! Oh Jack, how was it? How was she?"

"She, uh, she was something else," he said with an amused smile on his face, half serious and half referring to his surprise at who his date ended up being.

"Are you going to be seeing her again?"

"Oh, yeah, I think I'll be seeing quite a bit of her," Jack joked just as Janet entered the apartment.

"That's wonderful! Gee, I am just so happy for you Jack. It really is a wonderful thing, this computer dating. Tom and I meant it when we said it gives you exactly what you want."

Jack grew a bit more serious as the expression on his face changed and he replied, "Yeah. Yeah, it sure does."

After exchanging their goodbyes, Jack hung up the phone. Janet had since walked into her room, and as soon as Jack hung up she walked out again. "Who was that?" She asked.

"It was Joan. She wanted to know if I went through with the computer dating thing."

Janet made a face. "Oh, no, you didn't tell her did you?"

"Well sure I did. What's the big deal?"

Janet suddenly got a bit fidgety and nervous. She didn't know what was wrong with herself. For all that she felt for Jack, when she was actually set up on a date with him she had been terrified-terrified enough to be upset the moment she saw that it was Jack who would be her date, terrified enough to assure Jack that the date meant nothing, and terrified enough to laugh it all off with Terri. For all the time that she had hoped for a date with Jack, when it became an actuality, she pushed away. Certainly Janet had always been a logical person…but when it came to matters of the heart, all logic disappeared along with normal heart rates and steady breathing. Finally finding words, she replied to Jack, "I, uh…I guess it's just a bit embarrassing, that's all."

"That's what I don't get, Janet. What's so embarrassing about it? You said the same thing yesterday," Jack said trying to hide the fact that he was a bit hurt.

"Well it's just that…" but she was cut off as Terri entered the apartment followed by an inquisitive Mr. Furley. She was relieved, for she wasn't quite sure how she was going to finish the rest of that sentence anyhow.

"Yeah, Larry told me all about it," Mr. Furley said with a sly smirk on his face. He turned to Jack and Janet as he let out an airy chuckle. "Have fun on your 'date' last night, kids?" He asked.

Janet's eyes grew wide at the realization that yet another person knew about the date and, of all people, it was Mr. Furley.

"Larry and his big mouth," Terri sighed looking at the two of them.

Stuttering, Jack began, "H-h-h-h-he told you it was all set up by a computer, didn't he? I mean of course I had never intended to…with Janet!"

Still sniffling, Mr. Furley replied, "You don't have to explain anything to me, Jack. I just would have loved to see the look on your face when a woman showed up as your date. You must have been horrified!"

Jack forced an unappreciative smile and then went into "character" as he nudged up to Mr. Furley. "I felt so dirty, Mr. Furley! Comfort me!"

"Oh no you don't!" Mr. Furley shouted, his silly mood quickly shifting to that of discomfort. "Y-you're not gonna get any sympathy from me! No sir! Any guy would be lucky to take that woman out on a date! I'll never understand you, Jack. Two beautiful women and you cry about it!" And with that he went jittering out of the apartment.

The three laughed as Terri shut the door behind him. "You know, that never gets old," Jack laughed.

"But that Larry! Who does he think he is blabbing these things to Furley? If he weren't so dense we'd all be out on the streets right now!" Janet said.

"Yeah, what a rotten thing to do," Jack sighed.

Terri sighed as well. "Problem with Larry is he's just as dense as Furley is. Sometimes I'd like to smack that man…but instead, I'm going to shower." And she skipped to the bathroom leaving Jack and Janet alone once more.

Jack's eyes found Janet's for a brief moment, but he had lost his words. Forcing the faintest hint of a smile, he said "I think I'm gonna head down to the Beagle."

"Okay," was all that Janet could say back, and he walked out of the apartment.

As soon as the door was shut, she closed her eyes and clenched her fists as she let out a sigh. Why was she suddenly so afraid? Everything that had worried her about Jack before was rising to the surface.

Opening her eyes again, she made her way over to the sofa and sat down. She thought she had done such a good job forcing the way she felt about Jack to the back of her mind. There were plenty of dates and she was having fun and everything was fine…and then this. Now that it had been there right in front of her, the whole idea of her and Jack right out in the open, she felt frozen-more terrified of the idea than she had ever been.

The thing was that when she had come close to it, even if it wasn't serious, she couldn't help but be reminded of the first time she met Jack and how different he made her feel. It was almost as if he were dangerous to her, and yet so perfect at the same time. His kind, dancing eyes, laid back sense of humor, and charming nature were woven into a goofy, immature playboy.

And the rule. There was that damned rule. That very same rule that she had created herself. Never, under any circumstances, were either of the girls ever to become involved romantically with Jack. It was the same rule that she loathed with all of her heart, that she wanted to throw out the window, drown in a river, and get hit by a truck. It was the very same rule that she knew should be honored out of respect for the third roommate and that she knew she could never break as long as Terri was around. And she wanted Terri around.

But worst of all, the strongest thing against what she felt for Jack was that whether or not he had ever had feelings for her, or did now…she believed that he could never truly love her. She wasn't truly sure if Jack could ever just settle and love one woman.

But she couldn't always be right.

* * *

Terri was a bit more shocked that she would have expected when she had overheard Jack and Janet talking about their date the other night. Shocked not because it made her feel uncomfortable, but because she had felt that Jack and Janet didn't trust her enough to tell her if there was something going on. It was enough to nearly drive her to tears when she had learned that Larry knew before her.

But none of it had mattered anyhow, because each had revealed to her that it was set up, with Janet looking particularly embarrassed.

She walked out of the bathroom as she hand dried her hair with a towel and found Janet sitting on the sofa reading. To see such stubborn and aloof roommates drove her a bit crazy, but as long as neither of them said anything, she vowed that she wouldn't either.

"Where'd Jack go?" She asked.

"Oh, down to the Beagle," Janet replied without looking up from her book.

"Oh. Why didn't you go with him?"

Janet put the book down and shrugged. "I don't know. He didn't ask me to. Besides, I'm just not really in the mood for…" Pausing, she sighed. "I guess I've just felt a little awkward since that silly date." She looked embarrassed as she looked over at Terri.

Keeping true to her vow, Terri said nothing about her perceptive knowledge of her roommates' feelings. Instead, she said, "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that. It's just Jack. Besides, it's all done and over with now."

Janet nodded. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. What's done is done."

"Exactly. Now why don't you go down there and have a beer? I was thinking about going myself anyway after I'm done getting ready."

"Oh, well I can wait…"

"No!" Terri shrieked a bit louder than she had intended to. "I mean, nah, I'll be a little while," she said, for she had no intention of actually showing up.

"Okay," Janet said hesitatingly, a bit suspicious but not sure why. "See you later."

"Bye!" Terri smiled.

As she walked into the pub, Janet's eyes fell on Jack who was mingling with a red head. She almost turned to leave but willed herself to take a seat at the bar and order a beer. Slouching with her head in her hands and staring off into space, she finally heard the clicking heels of the red head behind her as she stormed out. She turned around and saw Jack beside her as he asked the bartender for a towel.

"Hey, when did you get here?" Jack asked her.

"Just a minute ago." She looked at Jack and noticed that beer was running down his hair and onto his shirt. "I knew we should've never upgraded you from the sippy cup," she quipped.

"Ha ha, very funny," Jack said as he took the towel and began to wipe himself down.

"Girl get angry at you again?" She asked.

"Mmhm. And all because I told her that she had very nice thighs-I mean eyes! There, I did it again."

"Ugh, Jack," Janet laughed.

"It's not funny, this happens at least once a week!"

"Well maybe you should get your mind out of the gutter for once."

Jack smiled and sat down beside her. "My mind was off in other places, but not the places you're thinking of, smarty pants."

"Where then?"

Jack was about to speak when he remembered that any mention of their date in front of other people embarrassed her. He went on, "Let's leave. We can talk about it on the way home."

"I was supposed to meet Terri here."

"I don't think she'll mind," he said, aware that a guy Terri was interested in had just walked in.

As they began walking back, Janet couldn't help but notice that Jack was a bit on edge. She herself wasn't feeling completely composed. He said nothing until they reached a bench near the apartment complex and sat down. Staring off in front of him for a bit, Jack finally turned to look at her, her inquisitive eyes waiting for him to say something.

"I, um…I can't get this whole thing off of my mind, Janet," he said.

"What thing?" She said, knowing but wanting to hear it from him.

"The date. I wasn't exactly prepared for something like that."

"Yeah, I know. Neither was I."

Jack's eyes seemed to go back and forth between looking into Janet's eyes and looking distant, focused inward on his own thoughts, for so many of them flashed through his mind. He wanted to ask her if she felt it too. He wanted to know if this was driving her as crazy as it was him. But to reveal such things was to take a risk he wasn't ready for.

"I wasn't that horrible of a date, was I?" He asked with a half-hearted smile on his face, half joking and half serious.

Janet looked into his eyes and smiled. It was just like him, she thought, to worry about such things as how good of a date he was. That was all that he had to say. That was all that was bothering him. She was sure of it.

"Oh, Jack, you weren't horrible at all. Any girl would be lucky to go on a date with you."

"Any girl but you?"

"No. No, Jack, I was very lucky to go on a date with you." Her smile was endearing. She treated his question as if it were merely one to support his ego. But she did mean it, surely more than he could tell.

"Then why does it seem to embarrass you so much? I felt just as silly as you, Janet, but I at least tried to have fun. You were worried the whole time."

At Jack's words, Janet started to feel tense and became defensive. How could he say that? She did have fun, she did…as much fun as she could have for being as terrified as she was.

"Oh Jack, don't say that. I told you I had fun. I had a lot of fun. But you had to expect that I should feel a bit strange. It's not like we had done anything like that before."

He backed down. He knew she was right because he had been just as terrified as she was. Never had it been so difficult for him to kiss someone before in his life. Finally he knew what to say to close the issue. Looking over at her, he smiled, "What do you say we re-do that kiss and then put this all behind us?"

Re-do the kiss? What was he thinking? Was he trying to making everything even more uncomfortable? Still prying on her for the check? "Oh Jack, you're unbelievable! You agreed to pay the bill that night and-

Jack finally laughed, remembering his joke from the other night. "No, Janet," he said, reaching over to her to make her look at him again. "Just for closure's sake. Besides, we didn't quite get the kiss right the first time, did we?"

Janet thought he was insane at that moment, sure that deep down his ultimate goal was to destroy her. Who was he to ask her for a kiss and to make this all the harder for her? But in her whorl-wind of emotions her lips refused to move and her eyes froze on his, only allowing her to lower them to focus on his lips.

"You're insane," she finally managed to whisper, barely enough for him to hear for her hearting was beating so strongly with desire that she had little energy to raise her voice any louder.

"I know," he said equally as quiet, a faint smile forming on his lips as he lifted her chin up and kissed her.


	14. Chapter 13: Could Change Our Lives

**Chapter 13: Something That Could Change All of Our Lives**

_September 1982_

He was sure it was a dream, but he felt her there next to him. His arm around her rose slowly up and down in sync with her light, rhythmic breathing. He refused to open his eyes for fear that the dream would vanish and he'd be left with the complexities of his world once more. No, for now he'd sleep, he thought, as the tune of a lullaby softly made its way in and out of his conscious.

* * *

"Janet!" Jack cried as a toothbrush whizzed past his face, barely missing him by an inch. When he'd told her what he thought had happened between them the previous night, he was expecting her to be angry, but never imagined she'd react like this. He could see the fury in her face as she hurled something at him yet again, this time a can of shaving cream.

Terri stood nearby, shock in her face at Janet's reaction wondering what on earth Jack could have said.

After having fallen on the floor yet again, Jack pushed himself up and made his way to the bathroom as he ducked and dodged the flying items that came at longer intervals as Janet ran out of things to throw. He reached the door and stepped through the hole he had created when he was flung through it only moments before. Janet saw him coming and, with not another item left for her to throw, she waved her hands in defeat and slumped down on the toilet seat, her face in her hands.

He looked at her and felt a tinge of guilt. He regretted getting so drunk that he fell asleep in her bed, but he didn't understand why she got so angry as a result of his assumption which seemed to make complete sense to him, even though he'd been terrified to think of it.

"Janet…" Jack began again.

"Get away from me," she said, her voice muffled by her hands.

"Will you just hear me out?" He pleaded.

"I said get away from me!" She shouted, this time looking directly at him, the fury still showing in her eyes. How she hated him at that moment. Convinced he didn't have any feelings for her, for him to think that anything had happened between the two of them fueled her anger at him even more.

Ignoring her, Jack went on "Janet you have to understand that I had no reason not to think that. I couldn't remember a thing from last night and then I find myself in bed with you!"

She stood up and glared at him. "Well none of this would have even happened if you hadn't gotten ridiculously drunk last night!"

"Well I wouldn't have gotten drunk if you hadn't dragged me along!"

Janet paused, her rage not allowing her to think. Finally she looked up at him and said, "I hate you so much right now," and walked out of the room, heading to her own.

Jack sighed as he stepped over the pieces of the door and looked at Terri, who had made sure not to miss a second of their argument. From the words they had exchanged, she picked up on what had happened and didn't know whether to be angry at Jack for Janet, feel bad for Jack, or just laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. She looked at Jack and shrugged in reply.

"Janet, look, I'm really, really sorry," he said to the closed bedroom door.

"Ha!" Janet's voice came from the other side.

"No I mean it, Janet, really. I'll do anything to make it up to you I-I'll even pay you back for the vase."

The door opened abruptly and a piece of the vase was hurled at Jack, hitting him on his shoulder. He winced as the door slammed on him again.

"I take it it's not the vase that's the problem," he said pathetically.

Now changed into her clothes, Janet opened the door and stared angrily at Jack. "You know what your problem is, Jack?" She asked, her lips pursed while she tapped her foot as the anger surged throughout her body. "All you ever think about is sex!"

"Well I could have told you that one," Terri's voice came from the other side of the room.

"This doesn't concern you, Terri," Janet snapped, her anger too strong for her to think about her manners. Terri shrugged her remark off and went into the kitchen.

"Can I just say something?" Jack inquired, growing agitated. "What would you have thought if it were the other way around and you woke up next to me not remembering a thing about the night before?"

Janet started to open her mouth, but no words came when she couldn't find an answer. Frustrated she said, "I…" She looked at him and frowned angrily. "Well I wouldn't have thought that!"

"Well I find that hard to believe…"

"I find you hard to believe!"

"You sound like a child."

"Well at least I don't have the brain of one!"

They both stood there for a moment, glaring at one another angrily with nothing left to say. For some strange reason the urge arose in Jack to grab Janet and smother her with kisses but he was able to sustain himself. Why did she look so beautiful when she was angry? The fiery anger in her eyes caused them to sparkle even more than usual and he found it incredibly hard to maintain the frown on his face.

A knock on the door interrupted the silence.

Jack stood there frozen and Janet glared at him again before going to answer the door, too angry to think about the mess that whoever was behind the door would see. She opened it to see Mr. Furley's smiling face and slammed it when she realized he'd see the broken bathroom door. Wincing, she leaned her back against the door and looked at Jack, who looked visibly hurt and didn't appear to care about who was there.

She sighed when she heard the knocks on the door grow louder and more impatient and opened it anyway, this time to see Mr. Furley's angry face as he rubbed his nose.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Furley, I didn't know it was you," Janet lied.

"Oh is that so?" He replied sarcastically. Janet smiled and nodded and he went on, "Well I just came up here to give you this letter from your grandmother. It got mixed up in the mail."

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Furley!" Janet said grabbing the letter and trying to close the door on him, but he pushed it back and his eyes bulged when he saw the mess.

"What's this?" He cried, the pitch in his voice squeaky with disbelief.

"Oh, Mr. Furley I promise I'll pay for it-it…it was an accident!"

"An accident?" He squeaked again. "Do you know how much that accident is going to cost?" His breathing grew rapid and he started to squirm.

"Oh my God, he's hyperventilating again," Jack said and led Mr. Furley to the sofa.

"If my brother Bart ever knew about this!" Mr. Furley said, distressed.

"Mr. Furley I promise you it will be paid for," Janet said again, feeling terrible for what she'd done.

"It'd better be!" Mr. Furley jumped up off the sofa, suddenly fine. He walked to the door and then looked back. "What is wrong with you people?" he said, and walked out.

Jack and Janet looked at each other, worried expressions on both of their faces. Without saying anything, Janet bent down to pick up the items she'd thrown at Jack earlier and he followed suit.

"You don't have to help me. This is my fault. You're right, I was completely out of line with the way I reacted," Janet said.

"Well you're right, too. I am an idiot."

"I never said you were an idiot."

"But I am."

"Oh, Jack…"

"Janet, I'll pay for the door it's the least I can do."

"Oh, no you won't," she insisted.

"Yes I will," he said, and headed to his room to change and she followed in protest.

"Jack, it was me who broke that door! I won't allow you to…"

"It was my fault because I'm always assuming things and I should know better." He walked over to his dresser to get out a pair of pants and Janet followed. He looked at her and said, "Can I…?" as he motioned to his pants.

"Oh, sorry," she said, and turned around as he put his pants on, but she still went on, "Honestly, Jack, I don't know why you have to be so stubborn about this!"

"I'm the stubborn one?"

Janet sighed. "I won't let you do it."

"Well, too bad."

Janet whipped around to face Jack again, and in the sudden motion the letter that was in her hand flew out of Jack's window near where she was standing and she shrieked. She leaned out the window to see it resting on a ledge between the first and second floor, just beyond her reach. She continued reaching anyway.

"Janet!" Jack said as she fumbled and nearly fell out, and he grabbed her legs. "Janet, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I almost have the letter, just lower me a bit more."

"Janet," Jack said in protest, but complied anyway. "Can you reach it yet?"

"Almost," Janet said grunting, her fingers just millimeters from the envelope.

"I don't think I can hold you much longer. Janet, my nose itches."

"Can you forget about your nose for one minute so I can…got it," she said. "Pull me back up."

Jack, too busy wrinkling up his nose in an effort to itch it without his fingers, was too distracted to hear her.

"Jack!"

"Huh? Oh!"

He pulled her up and Janet stood on her two feet glaring at him for a second, and then went to open the letter as she walked back into the living room. Her eyes grew large as she read the line, "I hope you enjoyed the vase I sent you. I found it cheap at a garage sale. You know how I love garage sales…"

"You've got to be kidding me," Janet said.

"Kidding you about what?" Jack asked walking out of his room.

"The vase it…" She stopped, remembering the trouble she gave him for the vase. Sighing, she went on, "It's from a garage sale, Jack."

"A garage sale?" Suddenly he began to laugh and she couldn't help but join him. Suddenly everything they were arguing about had seemed so ridiculous…even Jack's assumptions.

And damn him for making such assumptions, too, she thought still a bit frustrated with him. But looking at him she couldn't help but let the smile on her face grow. She often realized that that was how they worked together; a bunch of senseless bickering and petty arguments that really meant nothing, other than the fact that they cared so much for one another that if all wasn't right with the other, if they didn't fully understand the other, frustration would lead to such arguments. She shook her head in amusement as she went over to the sofa to finish reading the letter.

Jack's eyes followed her as she went over to the sofa. He wanted to move from the spot in which he was standing, but he couldn't. It was as if his eyes were super-glued to her. Unaware that he was staring, Janet read on.

Nothing had terrified him more than thinking he had slept with Janet even though she hadn't wanted to. It took all he had in him not to run away, and he had tried. Still so unsure of everything, to think that any hint of his feelings for her were shown the other night made him want to disappear.

Looking over at Janet, a slight smile upon her face, he knew he had gotten lucky. For if anything actually had happened, he would not only be hurting her but Terri as well. And the rule dawned upon him. That damned rule. The rule that pecked at his heart like a relentless crow. The rule, he knew, that was necessary to keep the peace between three people living in one apartment. The rule that told him all he needed to know, which was that Janet was against a relationship between Jack and either she or Terri. Sighing, he walked back into his room. And because he cared so much for her, he wanted to respect that rule-just as much as he wanted to break it.


	15. Chapter 14: The One Thing I've Wanted

Hey everyone! Once again I want to say thank you for all of your kind reviews. I want to say I'm sorry for taking so long to update. My life has been a little hectic lately and I have the end of the school year on top of that, so I haven't had a lot of time to sit down and write. But of course, I still am…and finally, a chapter is finished. I promise they will get longer once I address more crucial episodes. Hope you enjoy. :)

**Ch. 14: The One Thing I've Wanted More Than Anything Else**

_November 1982_

"But Jack…" Terri said into the phone. Before she could say anything more she heard a quick "goodnight" and a click. Sighing, she slammed the phone down as Janet walked out of the bathroom.

"Was that him?" She nervously inquired.

"Yes. Unfortunately he's still alive," she sarcastically replied, angry as a result of the conversation she'd just had. "He said he's staying there tonight."

"Oh thank God. I was so worried…it's not like him to not call if he's going to be at his restaurant this late."

Terri slumped down on the sofa. "Well apparently he's still depressed because the restaurant had another slow day. I told him it's only been a couple of weeks since it opened and that he should really give it more of a chance. I tell ya, Janet, that man is extremely stubborn."

"Tell me about it," Janet sighed.

"I know he can't be serious, but he told me if business doesn't pick up soon he's going to let Mr. Angelino take the place back and turn it into a parking garage."

Janet's eyes grew large. "He said that? Oh Terri, that's terrible. Every time something doesn't work out perfectly he becomes this stubborn, illogical mess." She paused for a moment, remembering the week before when she, Terri, Larry, Mr. Furley and Jack had walked into Jack's new restaurant, only to find the place in a shambles. Jack had been ready to quit, but she hadn't been able to stand to see the dream she'd seen him work toward for six years fall apart because of one little set back. So instead, she did everything in her power to encourage him to keep going – and he did.

She groaned, tired but knowing she had to go and talk to Jack, who she knew was probably moping with his head down on one of the tables at his restaurant. She grabbed her coat and headed toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Terri yawned.

"To talk to Jack. This is getting to be ridiculous."

* * *

Sure enough, Jack sat there in the middle of his restaurant, his head on the table as he tried to gather his thoughts. When he'd entered cooking school, he had his future laid out perfectly; he'd graduate, work his way up as a chef at some of the finest French restaurants, make connections, and then eventually own a fine establishment of his own, with people from all around flocking to try his famous cuisine. But nothing was turning out the way he'd planned. Obstacles were thrown at him one after the other that seemed to tell him to give up, that this wasn't meant to be.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"We're closed," he groaned. 'Of course the customers come once I've already closed the place for the night,' he thought.

The knock came again, a bit louder this time, and Jack rose from his chair angrily. Reaching to open the door, he repeated, "I said we're-"

Janet stood there looking worriedly into his eyes and took a deep breath. "Hi. Can I come in?"

"Yeah," he said, moving out of the way. "What are you doing here this late?"

He saw her walk in, as if on a mission, and he was sure she was there to give him another lecture. She sighed worriedly and looked up at him. "I need to talk to you, Jack."

"About what?" he said a bit annoyed and feeling far too stubborn to hear that everything would be okay. He sat down and rested his head on his hand.

Janet pulled up a chair beside him and sat down. "Jack…" she began.

"Look, Janet, if you came here to lecture me on how I shouldn't give up and all of that crap then you're wasting your time."

"No, Jack. No, you're wasting your time sitting here like this. Jack, how can things work out if you keep on fearing the worst?"

"Janet, this is so unbelievably important to me. If I mess this up I have nothing!"

"Oh and what am I, a piece of stale bread?"

Jack cracked a very slight smile at her comment. "Well no, of course not. I know I have you and Terri and everyone else…" He sighed. He couldn't help but notice how their conversation about the fate of his restaurant sounded like a conversation about the fate of his love life. And of all people, here he sat with Janet, her large brown eyes searching for some sort of reaction from him telling her he was alright.

"It's just…it's just that nothing's turning out how I had planned," he went on.

"Oh, Jack. Since when does anything in life ever turn out how we planned? What about…well think about it, Jack, did you ever plan on ending up asleep in a bathtub six years ago?"

Jack smiled. "I planned on finding a girl, taking her home, and having my way with her."

Janet rolled her eyes but smiled too. "And what ended up happening?"

"I ended up finding two girls, living in their home, and having my way with them."

"Jack!" Janet laughed as she playfully hit him. Sighing and smiling at the same time, she went on, "Do you see what I'm trying to say?"

Jack's face grew serious again. "I do, Janet, but…" he got up from his chair and sighed. "But that's just chance. This is my life, my dream. I want this more than anything else," he said, only partially telling the truth. There was only one thing he wanted more.

"Everything is chance, Jack. And you have to give your restaurant a chance. For God sakes, it's only been a few weeks! You have to have more patience."

"I don't wanna!" He said slumping back down into his chair, his voice like that of a stubborn child's. "Besides, when did you become some sort of know-it-all anyway?"

The comment angered Janet, but she backed down. "Look, I'm just trying to help. I can't stand seeing you like this."

Feeling guilty, he looked over at her. "Janet, you've helped me more than you even know. If it weren't for you I wouldn't have had the guts to fix this place up. I would've walked right in here, saw the mess, and walked right on out. But you wouldn't let me give up. You have no idea how much that means to me but I-"

"Then what makes you think I'll let you give up now?"

He stopped and looked at her, worry in his eyes, and didn't know what else to say. There was a pause before Janet turned to her purse and took out a small mirror.

"Jack, when you look in the mirror, what do you see?" she asked, holding it up to him.

"Oh, Janet, that's corny."

"I'm serious. What do you see?"

"A failure."

Janet sighed, frustrated. "Well, look harder."

"A failure with blue eyes and light brown hair."

Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, Janet went on, "No, Jack. No. Nevermind. You know what I see? I see a strong, determined man with a dream. I see someone who has worked hard to achieve that dream and I know he has it in him to achieve it."

"Well great. That guy is going to open up a restaurant and steal what little customers I have."

"Jack!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I won't give up, okay? What other choice do I have?"

"None. You can't give up on something that's meant to be. Sooner or later, it just finds a way of happening."

Jack only nodded. He felt her words carry more meaning than one.

Janet smiled contentedly. "Now, are you coming home?"

"I have to, now. Can't let you walk back alone at night."

Janet smiled and grabbed his hand and they walked toward the door, only pausing for Jack to lock up. As they headed toward the apartment complex, Jack couldn't help but think how lucky he was to have a friend like Janet. He knew he was entirely too stubborn and impatient and she was never afraid to call him out on it. But the worrier in him wouldn't let him stop thinking about the fate of everything, and whether or not anything would turn out alright – and the restaurant wasn't the only thing his worries couldn't let go of.


	16. Chapter 15: She's In Love With Me

Sorry for taking so long to update. I promise things will start to pick up more after this chapter. ;) Enjoy.

**Ch. 15: She's In Love With Me**

_April 1983_

"Ya think?" Janet exclaimed once Jack had admitted that Terri was most certainly in love with him. She had never seen Terri act that way with anyone, let alone Jack, yet she couldn't imagine it was because of a silly little moustache…

Jack sighed and paced the living room as he ran his fingers across the fake moustache, an idea he copied from Larry of all people. Janet's fists clenched as her nerves grabbed hold of her and she looked at Jack for answers as to what they should do about it, but he just shook his head.

"Look, I say we just sleep on this. She's tired, she's not in her right senses…I'm sure it'll all pass by morning," Jack said, too confused and tired to think clearly.

"Well I sure hope so, Jack! I've never seen Terri act like that with…with you of all people."

Jack made a look of offense and shrugged Janet's comment off. "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about." He grabbed Janet and kissed her on the head and uttered a goodnight before heading to his room, leaving her there to worry by herself.

She hadn't really experienced anything like this since Chrissy. Terri had never seemed as into Jack as her former roommate had seemed to be, and so slowly her jealousies and insecurities regarding Jack and the other roommate dwindled. That is, until now.

Not wanting to face a strange-acting Terri, Janet headed to the sofa and slumped down. The room was now silent but her thoughts raged at roaring volumes. She had tried so hard to depart from this, from these feelings, from Jack. And while her date with Gary McDonald that evening had went well, she had felt nothing…for no one stirred her emotions like Jack.

Her eyes became heavy as she recalled the past year. She had noticed how Jack had matured, especially once he'd gotten his own restaurant, but she wasn't a fool; she also saw how he had started to act differently toward her. Whether or not it meant anything, she couldn't say. The pessimist within her would say that it certainly didn't, while her logic would suggest that even if it did, the idea of anything ever happening was a dangerous one. And still she knew that her logic never proved to be much of a match for her stubborn heart.

Yawning she finally got up and made her way toward her room. Terri was asleep with a blissful smile on her face and Janet couldn't help but frown. Lying down on her own bed, she knew her racing mind would leave her tired in the morning.

It wasn't jealousy; it was her duty. No, Janet convinced herself that she no longer had any feelings for Jack Tripper. And those times that she refused to allow herself to feel anything for him were some of the easiest she'd had. Perhaps a lot more boring, but certainly easy and certainly safe.

The night was warm and the soft, warm breeze wrapped the three roommates like a blanket as they made their way into the restaurant. Terri still felt awkward around the two after making such a scene over Jack's moustache but figured that maybe a nice dinner would clear the air a bit.

Once the three were seated, a giddy smile appeared on Terri's face. "I absolutely love this place," she exclaimed. "It was the first restaurant I'd ever eaten at after I moved to Santa Monica."

Janet's eyes bulged as she looked at the menu. "And the prices are…something else."

"Well it's my treat and that's fine with me. After the episode I put you two through the other day, it's the least I could do."

"I have to say, Terri, I'm going to miss you worshipping me and doing everything I asked you to," Jack joked.

Janet cleared her throat and glared at Jack. "Everything?" The question, of course, was just to make sure everything was really back in order. It certainly wasn't jealousy.

Forcing a chuckle, Jack went on, "Well not _everything_…unfortunately." He sarcastically mumbled the last word under his breath, causing Janet to smack him on the shoulder and Terri to roll her eyes.

"Well, forget about that. Right now we are going to have a nice, pleasant, stress-free evening," Terri said as she focused on her menu.

"Right," Jack and Janet replied, each taking a look at their own menus. As Janet read, she stopped and her eyes shot up as she looked back and forth between her two roommates. Finally, she began, "Well, what sorts of things _did _you do for Jack?"

Terri looked up from her menu confused, yet slightly amused at Janet's question. Forcing a slight chuckle Terri said, "Well, nothing Janet. So I flirted with him a bit, acted jealous when he looked at other women when we spent the evening together, or laugh at stupid jokes he made. Nothing any different than how you and Jack act all the time."

Terri didn't realize the awkwardness she had just insinuated, perhaps only because it was something that she felt was so obvious that there was really no tension to add to. Protests were unable to be made as a waiter came over to pour the three some water, accidentally spilling some all over Terri. The waiter was tall and handsome with dark brown hair and gray eyes. She looked up at him with a hypnotic gaze as he frantically apologized. "Could you show me the way to the bathroom so I can clean myself up?" She finally managed to say.

"Certainly, of course. I'm so sorry," he said and she smiled as she grabbed his arm and floated away with him.

Janet huffed at the scene that had just occurred before her, but mostly for the words Terri had uttered immediately prior. She looked at Jack who appeared to look equally as uncomfortable and smiled awkwardly. After looking down at her menu once more, she finally blurted, "I hear the poached salmon here is supposed to be really good."

"Oh, yeah? Yeah, I think I heard that, too," Jack said keeping his words to a minimum and neglecting to add that he was sure his own poached salmon was much better.

The awkward silence looming around them seemed to last years instead of seconds and all that came between them was the soft melody of a piano playing in the background and the low murmur of the other customers. Finally Jack looked up in an attempt to say something and Janet looked up at the same time. As their eyes met, he froze unable to look away. Uncomfortable, Janet looked back down and Jack decided that perhaps nothing he had to say was important enough to bother with.

Suddenly Janet closed her eyes and let out a sigh before looking back over at Jack. "What on earth was Terri talking about, 'Nothing any different than how you and Jack act all the time'?"

Shocked at her bold question and slightly embarrassed that he wasn't able to say it first, Jack feigned indifference. "I have no idea."

"Me either," Janet lied. "She must still be a little dazed."

"Obviously," Jack agreed. Where was Terri, anyway? It didn't take that long to clean up a spill.

As if on cue, Terri came back and sat next to Jack with a silly smile on her face.

"Oh no, not again," Jack said half joking.

Terri rolled her eyes. "Not you. Angelo. He gave me his number." Smiling, she pulled out a piece of paper with seven digits on it and waved it in the air.

"That's great, Terri," Janet said and paused. "Can I…ask you a question?"

"Sure…" But before Terri could continue, Angelo was before them once more ready to take their orders.

As the trio walked back to the apartment, the tension continued to loom between them. But none of them knew the exact reasoning for how the others were acting. Janet appeared anxious, clearly feigning composure, and Terri hadn't the slightest clue why and Jack couldn't fathom that it had anything to do with him. He, on the other hand, was particularly quiet, not sure what to say or how to act. He assumed that perhaps if Terri had possibly noticed the way he acted toward Janet, maybe Janet noticed as well. And finally, Terri only appeared tense with the confusion she was experiencing about the behavior of the other two.

The walk home was only five minutes long but it might as well have been five hours long. Terri wasn't sure what she had done or said and thought that perhaps the other two still felt awkward over her own behavior the other day. Finally, she spoke.

"Look, I want you two to know that if there is still any leftover tension about the way I acted toward Jack the other day, it's okay for you to let it out now." She appeared frustrated and even slightly hurt.

A mixture of "what?"s and "no, of course not"s ensued.

"Terri, what on earth makes you think that?" Janet asked, suddenly only concerned that she'd possibly hurt her friend.

"Well…you two have been acting strange all night," Terri pouted.

"Terri, that's not it at all. It's…" Jack paused and saw Janet looking over at him concerned. Fishing for a lie, he finally blurted, "I've just been really tired and stressed with the restaurant. Business _is_ picking up, after all," he pretended to brag.

"Yeah, Terri. Trust me, there are no hard feelings. If anything, the whole thing was actually pretty amusing." Janet added, trying to steer the subject away from her own concerns.

Finally, Terri cracked a smile and added, "I don't think anything is more amusing than me falling for Jack." She began to laugh and Janet joined as Jack rolled his eyes.

At last they reached the door and entered the apartment, finally realizing how exhausted they actually were. After exchanging some goodnights, they each entered their respective bedrooms.

Alone, Jack couldn't help by let his mind wander. The situation with Terri had only made him feel more wary about his feelings for Janet, but at the same time those same feelings continued to grow and become more solid. He'd seen the fear she experienced as she fretted about what to do about how Terri was acting with him. And while he knew that that was how Janet had always acted, for the first time it hit him that it might mean something. And suddenly, he recalled all of the times he saw that same behavior with Janet when Chrissy was around, at the time not paying much attention because he wasn't yet aware of how he really felt about Janet. But now…

He slipped on his pajamas and couldn't help but smile at the possibility. He could be wrong. Deep down he was sure that the idea of Janet having any feelings toward him was ridiculous. And even if she did, he knew that the awkwardness of a relationship between the two with a third roommate around would be a bad idea. But for now, for tonight, he'd allow himself to believe that it was real, with no strings attached, because the morning could always awaken him from his dreams.

On the other side of the wall, Terri and Janet were both unable to sleep for one reason or another. Each attempted to read, although Janet's thoughts were not focused on her book at all. Terri noticed that Janet remained on the same page for an extra long time, but said nothing.

All of Janet's actual focus was on denying her jealousy. She was tired of the worry that came with having feelings for Jack and she wanted it to all go away. It would be hard, but she didn't care. It couldn't possibly be worse than the pain she was already feeling. When it all came down to it, she knew she was only protecting herself from the awkwardness that showing such feelings would cause. Terri's actions had made that clear enough. And furthermore, she'd be protecting herself from a man she loved, perhaps too much, who didn't seem to be able to settle. It had always been about that – about the feelings she felt Jack could never have for her, even if he may have made them obvious at times. He couldn't possibly be acting any differently toward her than he did any other woman. Even he had joked with Terri earlier that he'd miss her constant flirting with him. That was just how Jack was.

She had herself at least partially convinced for now, and it felt good and it felt safe. It was like throwing a weight off of herself, even if at the same time she was unaware of the other weight she was leaving in its place. But for now she only had one focus, and that was to not let any feelings for Jack Tripper ever get in the way of her friendship with him or Terri, or to ever make anything obvious to either one of them, ever again.


	17. Chapter 16: It's Only Natural

First, I want to say how insanely sorry I am for taking so long to update. I've been sick on and off all summer so it's been hard for me to get in the zone to write. I really have to be fully immersed in what I'm writing or I feel like I'm doing a disservice to whoever reads it because it won't be as good as it could've been. I promise you won't ever have to worry about this story being incomplete because it won't be. If it takes a long time in the future there's most likely a reason because I love this story way too much to let it go and to forget about it. But finally, here it is and I believe it's the longest one so far. I hope you all enjoy. :)

**Chapter 16: It's Only Natural That They Have Certain Feelings**

_November 1983_

In the course of the months that followed, Jack noticed a slight change in Janet. She seemed to become much less concerned about what he was doing or whom he was doing it with. In fact, she'd even begun to suggest names of girls that she knew who would be a good match for Jack. Anything, her own personal reasoning was, to push him away from her. And without that knowledge, Jack could only assume that he'd been wrong – that any jealousy she'd shown in the past had really just been concern for his own well being, not because she had any feelings for him.

But he knew it was for the best. He had a beautiful relationship with both of his roommates and would never want to do anything to destroy it. He assured himself of that – and he also assured Larry one day when he showed Jack a quiz in a magazine that would change his relationship with Janet forever.

The quiz that had been filled out suggested that one of the girls wanted to have an affair with Jack. But he was sure it was impossible. Terri had never given off that impression and Janet…well, if Janet had ever had any feelings for him, they were long gone by now. But…if it really was one of the girls, it surely had to be her and he intended to find out.

Lying awake in his bed that night in Larry's cabin that they'd all traveled to, Jack worked up the courage to say something to Janet once and for all. He thought he heard mumbling outside his door, but figured it was only Janet talking in her sleep which, he knew by now, was something she often did. The familiarity comforted him if only for a moment, but soon anxiety set in. He could hear the chirp of the crickets outside the window. They seemed to mock him as he stared at the ceiling looking for the right words to say to Janet. He would've laid there for another hour or two if a strong breeze hadn't blown into the open window, forcing him to get up to shut it. Sighing, he turned around and looked at the door separating him and Janet. With a gulp, he made his way over to it and turned the knob.

Janet made herself comfortable after she took Larry's place in the loft because the big baby was "afraid of heights." But just as soon as she shut her eyes, she heard Jack's unmistakable groan as he whined an "ayeeeiii" after stubbing his toe. She ignored it until she heard him whisper her name. Opening her mouth to reply, she heard Larry's voice respond instead. Rolling her eyes, she stopped as she heard words fall from Jack's mouth that she was certain she'd never hear:

"_**Janet, you know when two people have been living together for a long time, it's only natural that they have certain feelings. Don't you agree?"**_

_**Larry muttered in agreement.**_

"_**Well if you do have these feelings, you know, you can tell me I-I promise I'll behave…if you want me to. Oh my God, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. Forget I said that, okay?"**_

_**Again, Larry muttered in response.**_

"_**Is that a yes or a no?" he said after Larry, pretending to be Janet, placed a hand on his shoulder. "Janet, I have to know. Please don't tease me." **_

Immediately following, Janet heard Jack scream as he realized that it was really Larry he was talking to. Normally she would have yelled at them to quiet down, but having heard what she'd just heard, she laid there frozen, her heart pounding so fast she could hear it loud and clear. Her world suddenly became a different world. The words of Larry and Jack became muffled and faded toward the background as her thoughts took center stage.

Where did this come from? How long had Jack been feeling this way? Where was he going with what he said? And why did he have to know so badly if she felt the same way?

One after the other the questions descended upon her and the noise they created in her head became louder as Jack and Larry once again went to bed. She wanted to cry, but with distress or joy she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure of anything anymore – only that any of the logic she'd ever pressed upon the issue had been wrong. She had been wrong. But whether or not that was good or bad was yet another thing she was unsure of.

"Home at last," Jack moaned as he dropped their luggage on the ground and threw himself down on the sofa.

Terri yawned in agreement. "I could go for a nap," she said, and then continued on sarcastically, "You know, one that's uninterrupted by Larry's knocks on the door because he's cold and wants to cuddle." Shaking her head, she grabbed her bags and headed toward the bedroom, leaving Jack and Janet alone in the room.

Throughout the entire trip home, Janet hadn't gone out of her way to talk to Jack unless he'd said something first, and if he did, her replies were brief. A tired Jack simply shrugged it off, assuming she was simply too tired herself to say much.

Janet, too, began heading toward her bedroom but stopped just before she reached the door to look over at Jack. He was sprawled out on the sofa stomach down, his left arm hanging off of it as if he were about to fall. A slight smile graced Janet's lips but her concerns remained apparent in her eyes. She'd spent her two nights at the cabin with little sleep, tossing and turning as she tried to comprehend what Jack had said and if she should even let him know what she'd heard. She'd gotten angry when Larry revealed that Jack invited her and Terri to the cabin just so he could get with one of them, fearing what she'd heard that night if it ended up only being him doing his usual playboy thing, but realized it was only yet another jumbled mess Jack had gotten himself into. Finally, she opened her mouth to say his name but no sound seemed to come out. But apparently it had, for Jack replied with a brief, sleepy "Hmm?"

Her head resting on the siding of her bedroom door, Janet seemed fairly calm on the outside. She took quiet, regular breaths and stared down at the floor trying to find words, but looking up again it was clear that now was not the time…if there was in fact a time. Shaking her head, she simply said, "Nothing" in reply, certain that the half asleep Jack wouldn't be concerned anyway.

But just as she turned to walk into her room, she heard Jack. Groggily he pushed himself up. "Hmm? Janet? Did you say something?"

Forcing a smile, she simply replied, "What? No. I didn't-I didn't say anything."

Jack rubbed his eyes and looked up at her and it was clear that something was wrong. "Is everything okay?"

"What? Yeah, of course."

Concern started to fill Jack's eyes. "Are you still mad about this weekend?"

Janet felt relieved and yet nervous at the same time that Jack was completely unaware that she'd heard what he'd said the other night. "Oh, of course not. It was just a silly misunderstanding, that's all. You know, I think I'm going to take a nap, too," she said, rushing her words as she grabbed her own bags. Jack's own words stopped her.

"Well, either way, I'm sorry about everything. It was stupid of me, really…to think that you or Terri would even…" His words trailed, but Janet knew what he meant. The disappointment in his voice was clear, perhaps more to Janet than it was to himself. He'd wanted it to be Janet. He wasn't able to admit any such thing to Larry, putting on his same old shtick that he didn't think of either of the girls as more than just friends. The only truth he'd spoken was that he'd never want to ruin his friendship with Janet and Terri. That much was true. And that was the only thing that kept him from ever saying anything to Janet. But he'd been positive that if it was one of the girls, it had to have been her. The thought had brought down a barrier, finally giving him the courage to say something to her. But he'd been mistaken. Neither of the girls had filled out any quiz. He felt as if there was no point in saying anything now.

Janet smiled, and shrugged his apology off. Affectionately she replied, "I blame Larry, anyway." Her comment made both of them smile, but as these faded the tension in the room became painfully evident, even if one didn't know what the other was feeling, or thinking, or wanting…

Finally Janet walked over to the sofa and sat down next to Jack. It took her awhile to find words, any words, to say to him. Even simply getting out his name was a struggle, but as soon as she did she heard the door burst open and a nasally, "Hi, kids" come from the offender. They turned around to see Mr. Furley.

Janet rolled her eyes and sighed before turning around to say hello to Mr. Furley.

"Hi," he smiled again. "Say Jack, I was wondering now that you kids are home, if you wouldn't mind doing me a little favor."

"Right now?" A tired Jack moaned.

"Well there's this lady coming over, see…"

A sly grin came across Jack's face and he batted his eyelashes at Mr. Furley. "You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend and ward her off?"

Mr. Furley glared at Jack and regained his composure. "No! I wanted you to cook dinner for us. I really want to impress this girl."

"Gee, she really must be something special, Mr. Furley," Janet said.

"She is. Or at least that's what the guy who set me up with her at the Beagle said."

"You mean you haven't even met her?" Jack asked.

"No. I don't even know her name," Mr. Furley grinned.

Jack looked at Janet and rolled his eyes, pushing the pillow off of himself and standing up. "I'll see you later, babe. He's going to need all the help he can get."

"Ha, ha," Mr. Furley sarcastically replied, and soon the two were gone, leaving Janet alone in the room.

Sighing, she picked up the pillow Jack had just set down, squeezed it, and fell asleep.

Janet absentmindedly put together a floral arrangement at the flower shop, but the casual observer could clearly see that it wasn't where her thoughts were focused. Finally snapping out of it, she realized the mess she had created and looked up to see a customer staring at her strangely. Janet smiled politely and sighed as soon as the customer turned away.

She had let her questions ruminate in her mind for another two days, torn between whether or not she wanted to say anything to Jack. But what was most difficult was the fact that she had worked so hard to force away her feelings for Jack over the last few months, and just as soon as she was convinced that maybe she could get over him, if only enough to ease the heartache, this information about Jack's own feelings was thrown at her.

What she really wanted to do was smack Jack on the arm, and cry, and scream at him for confusing her like that. She wanted to tell him that she hated him for making her love him and that he drove her insane…in good ways and in bad (but mostly bad, she tried to convince herself). But she knew her thoughts were irrational when Jack had no idea how she felt, either.

After she closed up the shop for the night, she found herself walking to Jack's restaurant. It was as if it weren't a choice on her own behalf to go there. It just seemed to happen. For whether or not she said anything, she really just wanted to see him. She headed toward the back entrance and knocked, hoping he'd be near the kitchen. He was.

"Hey, Janet! What are you doing here?" A pleasantly surprised Jack asked, a plate in each hand.

"I um…" Janet produced a nervous smile and became slightly short of breath as she found words. "I, well…gosh, Jack do you need help with anything? This place looks packed tonight!" She struggled for words as she looked toward the window leading to the restaurant.

"That's because it is," Jack said, stressed about the amount of customers he had yet to tend to and easily forgetting the peculiarity to her random appearance at the bistro. "I could really use your help, actually."

Janet smiled and nodded, trying not to let her thoughts go back to the reason she'd come in the first place. But she was torn between the practical Janet who was likely to avoid such a confrontation, and the emotional Janet who wanted to yell and scream that she knew and that she felt the same, and let any complications the situation might cause be damned.

But even if she wanted to say something, a wave of customers entering the bistro stole Jack away from her.

"Grab those salads and take them to table four," Jack said over his shoulder and pushed through the door. She nodded even though he could no longer see her.

About three or four salads later, a tall, auburn haired woman walked in causing Jack to nearly drop the plate in his hand. Janet followed his gaze and noticed the woman immediately. She was an ex of Jack's named Paulette whom Jack was crazy for about two years before. She'd left Jack one day stating that she was simply bored with him, but the look on her face as she saw Jack suggested no such sentiment now. Janet absentmindedly dropped the salad bowl down on the next table as she stared at the two embracing.

"Jack, it's been so long! Look how successful you've become!" said Paulette, giving Jack a hug.

"Phony," Janet muttered under her breath, ignoring the startled customer in front of her.

"I actually came here to see how you were doing, Jack. I heard about your restaurant and just had to stop by!"

'You've known where he's been living, but now that he has the restaurant you decide to stop by,' Janet thought, about ready to go over to them and push Paulette right out the door.

Completely taken, Jack forgot about the plates in his hands and Janet grabbed them from him amidst a customer's complaints.

Without noticing, he said, "You know I-I've been thinking about you these last couple of years…um…uh..."

"Paulette," she reminded him.

"Paulette! Right…"

As he continued Janet rolled her eyes, becoming more and more frustrated.

"Look, I'd love to chat but as you can see I'm awfully busy here. Why don't you head up to my apartment upstairs? I get off in half an hour," Jack said nudging up to Paulette.

Smiling, Paulette said, "I love the way you think." Jack pointed and she headed upstairs, and Janet looked on, wanting nothing more than to run home at that moment.

Still smiling himself, Jack looked over and saw Janet. "Sorry about that, babe," he said as they both headed toward the kitchen, the last customers finally cleared out.

Shrugging him off, Janet said, "I'm gonna head home now and leave you to your date."

"Well wait, Janet. I guess I was so busy earlier that I wasn't thinking. What was it you came to see me for anyway?"

"Oh, I, uh…I guess I completely forgot," she said, forcing an unconvincing smile. "You two have fun, huh?" She began heading toward the door, but Jack's words stopped her.

Jack looked at her and noticed her awkward manner. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, sure," she replied, shrugging him off.

"Janet, I know you and I know when something's wrong."

She turned around and looked at him. "Well, maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do."

Jack sighed. "Well, fine, I guess. I'll leave you alone. But only because I have an extremely sexy woman waiting for me upstairs," he smiled. A melancholy expression remained on Janet's face. "Janet…" he began after she didn't respond to his jokes.

"Leave me alone," she said, her voice barely audible. She whipped around and pushed through the kitchen door.

"Janet," he said again, louder this time. "Janet, what is wrong with you today? Or should I say lately? You've been acting so strange for the past couple of days. I don't get it."

"Jack, I told you I'm fine. I'm just tired and stressed so could you just leave it alone?"

"I would, Janet, but I told you I know you too well. I know when something's wrong. You can tell me."

Janet felt tears starting to brim in her eyes, her face getting warm. She yelled at herself to not cry, to not let any of this get to her. Janet Wood was strong and she refused to let any man take that away from her. Not even Jack. Trying her best to speak without her voice breaking, she said, "You're right. You do know me. Because when two people have been living together for a long time, it's only natural that they…" She stopped herself before she went too far. "I need to go."

As Janet turned toward the door, Jack's eyes grew large as he realized she'd just repeated his own words. Words that he was positive she hadn't heard. "Janet, you don't mean that-I mean, you couldn't have heard me when I…"

She only looked at him and nodded, the tears finally finding their way down her face.

Jack's heart began to race. He'd done it, now. He'd revealed something he shouldn't have based off of information that didn't even end up being real. And now here she was, confused and upset at his words. How could he have done this to her when he knew she didn't feel the same? Taking a deep breath, he lied, "Look Janet, I…I didn't know what else to say. That magazine had me convinced so I…I lied. I didn't want to hurt your feelings, that's all."

Janet felt as though she'd been knocked in the stomach at his words. Couldn't he make up his damned mind? Wiping a tear from her face, she nodded painfully. "Of course. I should've known, anyway."

A befuddled expression graced Jack's face. He inched closer toward her, wanting to reach out to her but not daring to. "Sh-should I have meant it? Because if you want me to then…then I did. I do." He was afraid now, aware that this back and forth was making him look insincere. But he was so afraid to say what she didn't want to hear – suddenly afraid that either way might make him lose her.

"Jack, stop. I know you, too, you know. And I know that even if you were serious about what you said, you'd be over it in a heartbeat when someone like…like Paulette walks in. I'm no fool, Jack."

"You feel it too, then."

"I never said that," she said wiping her eyes and trying to remain cool.

"Then why do I feel it?"

Suddenly, Paulette's voice came from upstairs. "Jack?" He kept looking Janet in the eye.

"You don't feel anything," she said, her stubborn nature kicking in as Paulette's voice reminded her of what she had to fear about Jack. "How could you have meant anything and then go and act the way you acted toward Paulette?"

Jack swallowed hard, becoming extremely frustrated with Janet and her accusations. "You know what it sounds like to me Janet? It sounds like you don't really like me at all. And…and fine. I _wouldn't_ go for a girl like you, and do you know why? Because I can't have you!" His voice grew louder at that last part, startling himself.

Feeling as though she were finally letting go, Janet raised her voice back, "But you've always had me, Jack! You've always had me. And you knew it."

Her words seemed to echo through the room as it grew silent. In the midst of it, Paulette entered.

"Well, then," she said, noting the tension. "It looks like you're already busy." And with that, she headed toward the door. And for the first time, Jack remained firmly planted where he was instead of running after the girl because for the first time, he realized that the only one he wanted was already right there.

Paulette stopped for a moment, startled that he didn't say a word. "Now I remember why I left you. You're a stiff." Finally out of the door, Jack and Janet were left alone in silence once more.

"Why…why aren't you going after her?" Janet asked, trying to appear detached.

"I'm trying my best," he replied, looking her in the eye.

Janet swallowed nervously, knowing he was referring to her. She sighed and sat down. "It couldn't work, Jack. You know it couldn't."

Jack was afraid to say anything, fearful that one wrong word would send Janet right out the door. Because deep down, he knew she was right. He knew there was no way it could ever happen. For the sake of their friendship, for the sake of Terri…heck, for the sake of Furley. Janet could tell that he silently, but woefully, agreed.

"So what are we supposed to do now? Just pretend that none of this is there?" Jack asked, frustrated but maintaining his cool. He was torn between his mind and his heart just as much as she was, and because she was defending the logical aspect of the argument, he had no choice but to defend the heart. If he didn't, he knew, then it would all end right there. What would they have left to tie them together if it weren't for their equal but opposite stubbornness?

Maintaining a delicacy but not without a ferocity, Janet replied, "Oh, Jack…why did you have to say anything at all?"

It hurt him to hear it, but Jack choked it up and went on, "Why shouldn't I have?"

"Because what we didn't know couldn't hurt us."

"Are you kidding me, Janet? What we didn't know could kill us. It killed me. And you know what, it still kills me. So is there much of a difference anyway?"

Janet looked Jack in the eyes, clearly seeing the hurt within them but refusing to let it consume her. "It makes all the difference in the world." She got up, ready to head toward the door once more but stopping. "Because now I can't run from this, Jack, and that scares me more than anything in the world. It's there in the open. What do we do now?"

Jack looked back into her eyes and saw the pain and uncertainty that lied within them. He could feel himself trembling but refused to show it. He didn't have an answer. He was just as lost as she was. But suddenly, for the first time that night, he gained the courage to walk up to Janet, forcing himself to block out the trouble at hand for the moment and to focus only on her. Slowly, he raised his hands to her face, resting them just below her cheeks. He began to wipe away her tears with his thumbs and did not stop when she unwillingly let out a slight whimper.

Janet wanted to pull away, afraid of what the moment might lead to, but she felt paralyzed. Or perhaps not quite so much paralyzed as that perhaps deep down, she really didn't want to pull away at all. She felt his right hand make its way toward her hair, slowly running his fingers through it. Closing her eyes, she felt herself fall toward him as he hugged her close, his head resting on hers, his hand still through her hair. Both of their hearts were beating so quickly that it didn't startle one to hear the other's beat just as fast. Finally, Janet reached up to put her arms around Jack's neck. They seemed to stay that way forever, but at last pulled apart.

It took everything in Jack not to kiss Janet, but it seemed that his logic was now starting to move in. He looked at her once more and nodded, silently signaling that he understood where she was coming from. He knew he couldn't press this any further. Not now.

Janet, too, stood there, still wondering why she'd come at all. It was as if she had to get it out in the open so that she could then brush it away. But suddenly the thought now seemed so much harder than she'd imagined.

Finally, Jack spoke, "I'm gonna lock up the back door and then I'll be right out."

Janet smiled a convincingly fake smile and nodded. For a quick moment she wasn't even sure if their conversation had even occurred, but the dried tears on her face reminded her that it had.

The night left both of them unsure of what to do next, of how to act – to feel. It was something that would take much, much longer than one evening. In such a short time so much had changed, yet neither one of them could imagine living their daily lives any differently.

Jack walked out and looked at Janet, feeling no differently toward her than he ever had. The same feelings were there, it was only that now she knew about them. He walked over toward her and reached out for her hand. Hesitant at first, she finally put hers in his and he flicked off the switch before they walked outside.


	18. Chapter 17: Putting Feelings Into Words

First of all, I want to apologize for leaving you all in the dark for so long with this. I was sick for much of the summer, and as soon as I started to feel better, my hardest semester to date began, leaving me no time to commit to this story. When I write I always want to be as immersed into it as possible, and when I'm stressed that's extremely difficult to do. I could've written a lot, but I would've been cheating you and myself with something less-than by forcing myself to write when I couldn't, rather than what I eventually have now, when I could. I've been on a long break and have finally finished the next chapter, and I hope it's worthy of what I just said. Thank you so much to all of my readers, I appreciate it so much. Again, this story means a lot to me so I didn't want to cheat us with something when it could've been better if I waited, so I did. I hope you enjoy it. :)

**Chapter 17: Trouble Putting Feelings Into Words**

_November 1983_

Doreen was right. He was repressing everything that he felt.

Repressed: to reject from the conscious mind, to repress inner emotional conflicts. To pay no heed to painful thoughts that confused the mind, memories that flashed before it, left for interpretation and reinterpretation a million times over. Feelings, feelings that would not or could not go away, no matter how hard one tried, or impulses to take actions that could not be taken back. To reject it all from the conscious mind in order to maintain sanity, to maintain safety, to maintain a friendship that if lost would destroy the soul and render it useless.

From a bystander's perspective it would seem as though nothing had changed between Jack and Janet over the course of the next few weeks. He still made his daily effort to make her smile, and she still laughed when he told a joke. They still ate lunch together on Mondays and Wednesdays, Jack still made the occasional inappropriate yet humorous remark, Janet still pestered Jack about forgetting to vacuum on his night, and they still kissed one another on the cheek before the other left for work. It was as if the exchange between them had never occurred and so nobody had much of a reason to suspect that it had. Both of them knew that in order for their friendship to remain as it had been, they couldn't change a thing about it – and that included acting upon any feelings they might have. And so, it seemed, those feelings were erased. It seemed.

Jack was afraid to date nor did he much care to, but Janet had insisted that he did. "I don't want anything to change, Jack," he recalled her saying, her big brown eyes glistening as they looked directly into his own. "Nothing at all." He remembered the faint crack in her voice as she'd uttered those last three words. He'd almost said no, and had grabbed her small wrist as she turned to walk away. But looking back at her, and seeing her eyes plead to him, he'd resigned to say nothing. He could see the pain it caused her, and so he forced himself to let go, or at least convince himself that he was trying to.

And out of nowhere came Doreen, her intuitive nature and psychological profession making her possibly the worst candidate for a date. Or perhaps it was Jack being drawn to someone that could give him answers; something, anything, that would lead him to take the right path: the one lead by his mind or the one led by his heart.

He noted the strange way Janet had acted, out of character even if she did claim to believe that Doreen was a call girl. Even Terri had noted how anxious and distraught that Janet had appeared upon meeting Doreen, the first (serious) girlfriend that Jack had had since their confrontation.

Janet herself didn't know what to think – didn't know where it was all coming from. Perhaps it was pent up frustration that she refused to acknowledge. She winced at the thought. It _was_ pent up frustration that she refused to acknowledge. She let go of the bowl of chips Jack held and finally managed to swallow the mouthful she had stuffed into her face in order to avoid explaining who she really thought Doreen really was: "The Rapist," as she put it. Either way – she knew – either way she'd find a reason not to like her, even if she had urged Jack to date as he always had. Deep inside, that feeling would undoubtedly be there.

She looked at everyone staring at her, the offended eyes of Doreen, the confused eyes of her father who'd shown up just that day, and the frustrated eyes of Jack. The weight that each of them laid upon her was too much to handle and, frowning, and looking apologetically at them all, she walked into the kitchen.

"Well, something seems to be wrong. I'll go and talk to her," Janet's father said as he began to get up from the sofa.

"Actually," Doreen interrupted him and motioned for him to sit back down. "Actually I'd like to talk to her. I am a psychiatrist after all." She paused, and went on, "…Despite Janet's apparent assumptions."

Jack stopped her. "No, Doreen. You don't have to…" He wasn't sure if he was stopping Doreen because he knew she didn't like to let her work interfere with her personal life, or if he was simply afraid of what Doreen and Janet would say to each other.

"Jack, it's fine. This looks like a classic case of hidden emotions. It appears that there's something else that's bothering Janet that's causing her to act out irrationally." She smiled at Jack and entered the kitchen.

"I know," Jack thought, and sighed.

Doreen found Janet leaning against the counter, fiddling with a napkin as her eyes stared aimlessly at the floor. She wasn't surprised that someone had walked into the kitchen to talk to her, until she realized that the person was Jack's girlfriend.

"Doreen…" she began. "I-

Doreen stopped her. "Janet, you don't have to explain yourself. I think I understand what's going on."

Janet's brow creased and she looked on speechless. What was she trying to say? "Y-you do?" she asked.

"I…hope I'm not intruding, but I would like to help. It is my specialty, after all." Doreen wasn't lying. It was out of the own goodness of her heart that she decided she'd like to fix things, or at least give a little perspective. When Janet didn't respond, she went on, "Janet, do you trust Jack?"

Janet was still confused, with no idea where Doreen was going with her strange intervention. Too dumbfounded to inquire or argue, Janet replied, "Well of course I do…" she trailed off, thinking back to all of the times when she'd assumed that Jack's intentions were worse than what they actually turned out to be. From the time when she assumed he was after her sister when he'd only been sleep walking, to the time that she wouldn't take Jack's word for it that Michael, her dance instructor, was a sleaze, to today, when she'd assumed that Jack was going back to his old ways, the ways that caused her to fear his ability to commit, only this time she'd assumed much worse. She looked down and quietly continued, "…perhaps not as often as I should." It was silent for a moment. Janet had no idea why she was talking about this to a complete stranger, but yet she found that a part of her wanted to, and had wanted to for so long.

"Have you always had trouble trusting Jack?"

Janet finally snapped out of it and, frustrated, replied, "Look, Doreen, I understand that you're a therapist but I really would rather not discuss my relationship with Jack with…with his girlfriend."

"I'm sorry it's just that, well, I really would like to help. And, honestly, maybe I am just a little bit curious."

"Curious?" Janet asked. "Curious about what?"

Doreen knew she was stepping into dangerous territory and briefly considered apologizing to Janet and leaving, but instead went on, "Do you and Jack…do you two have a past?"

"A past?" Janet paused and then forced a unconvincing smirk. "You mean, like, a romantic past?"

It was clear now that not only did Doreen want to help, but was also confused herself about whether or not she should leave Jack to his prior involvements. She looked at Janet and nodded.

"Well that's silly," Janet continued on behind her façade. "Jack and I have lived together for almost seven years. We're like brother and sister. In fact, sometimes people even call us Donny and Marie," she smiled smugly behind the lie, one she had used before.

Doreen nodded. "That's not what he told me," she replied slowly as Janet looked on, taken aback.

...

Jack sat next to Mr. Wood, awkwardly trying to make conversation. Beneath his chest his heart was racing, fearing what was being discussed in the room next door. The entire situation was a mess. Maybe dating someone else was a problem, maybe he should just run to Janet and tell her that they should try this, that maybe it'll work out just fine, that they'd never know if they didn't try…

But he bore in mind the possible complications, that he feared losing Janet more than he feared never having the chance with her.

He was a failure no matter which path he chose, he told himself, his mind torn and battered, nothing making sense, nothing ever seeming to work out right in this complicated arrangement that he lived in. He cringed when he recalled Doreen accusing him of being withdrawn, of having not kissed her once since they'd started dating. And while he was not quite able to explain the reasoning, Doreen had assumed it was her profession. In reality, he couldn't have given a damn about her profession. Quite simply, he wasn't able to kiss her because she wasn't Janet.

He'd tried to create something, eventually giving her the best kiss he could muster. It wasn't completely difficult to kiss someone that he _was_ attracted to, after all, even if there was something missing.

While Janet and Terri were gone and before Doreen's patient showed up and before Mr. Wood had called to say that he'd arrived, Jack finally sat Doreen down and told her the truth.

"Look, Doreen…I haven't been completely honest with you."

She appeared concerned but not so much so that Jack was afraid to continue. He took her hands in his, took a deep breath, and continued, "I, um…I know I've been kind of standoffish in this relationship and I apologize, I just…" He stopped and looked directly into her eyes. "But it isn't because of your being a sex therapist."

"Jack, what do you mean?"

"I mean…you being a therapist, that doesn't bother me at all. Not even a little bit, I think it's great…"

"You…do?"

"I do, really, I think it's wonderful, really admirable," he added, subconsciously tiptoeing around the subject at hand.

Doreen was torn between amusement and concern. "So then what's the problem? Is it me, do I –

"No, no…no it's not you. It has nothing to do with you."

"That sounds like a break-up line," Doreen quipped unenthusiastically.

Jack sighed, for he wasn't quite sure what it was himself. "I don't really know what it is," he admitted, his brow scrunched, his eyes worried. "I think that I'm afraid of us."

"So it is my profession…"

"No it's," he stopped, tired of avoiding what he really wanted to say. "It's Janet."

...

Janet burst out of the kitchen with a defeated Doreen following slightly behind her. The exasperated frustration within her was made very clear by the expression on her face, and it was as if a hurricane had suddenly struck the quaint little room in apartment 201. A finger aimed directly at Jack, she swallowed and then shrieked, "Listen, you!"

Jack jumped directly up, startled, with a hand on his chest as he caught himself. Mr. Wood also stood up, his brow ruffled. "I'm listening, I'm listening!" Jack replied, certain for a second that he was going to die by Janet's wrath.

"If you'll excuse me, I think I'll be going now," Doreen said as she grabbed her purse.

"But Doreen…" Jack began, before he was stopped by a wave of her hand followed by a brief, knowing smile before she left.

There was some guilt apparent in Janet's eyes for a moment as she watched Doreen leave and then she looked back at Jack, unable to read him. She sighed. "Daddy, if you don't mind I'd like to be alone with Jack," she said in the calmest manner she could muster.

"Sweetheart, if you don't mind my asking…"

"Daddy, please," Janet pleaded, and Mr. Wood shrugged and went to Jack's room, closing the door on the frigid yet passionate atmosphere that filled the room.

Jack couldn't look directly at Janet and he rubbed his forehead as his eyes gazed elsewhere, anywhere, but at hers, and therefore didn't see the pillow coming at him until it hit him directly in the stomach. Clenching his stomach, he yelled, "What was that for?"

Janet clenched her fists. "You know darn well what it was for!" She ran her fingers through her hair out of frustration, trying to remain her cool.

"For what, for dating someone that you stupidly happened to think was a call girl?" Jack shrieked, a bit louder than he'd intended.

"That's not it! That's not even it, Jack! I just, I can't believe that you'd tell Doreen about us and this whole situation. I thought we'd agreed to not mention it!"

"Well Janet, I…" Jack began , but he was stuck. He hadn't meant to tell Doreen, but how would his relationship with her have worked if Janet was constantly on his mind? If he explained it to her, perhaps she could help him put it behind him…after all, she _was_ a therapist. But in retrospect it made no sense to talk to his girlfriend of all people about it - clearly _that_ hadn't worked out. "I don't know! Maybe…I guess I thought…I thought that maybe she could help."

"You thought that your girlfriend could help your situation with me?" Janet laughed, shaking her head.

"I know, Janet!" Jack yelled, now frustrated with both himself and with her. "You're roommate is a complete idiot! A brainless, spineless, no good idiot with poor judgment…and, and, and a damn disposition to trip over everything in his path! Are you happy?" He was surprised at himself, for all the words he threw out with such energy and passion merely to prove a point. Did Janet do that to him?

She was taken aback at his self-deprecation. Suddenly she found it difficult to remain angry and to yell at him when he'd just done so to himself. Perhaps that was what he'd intended. A slight smile graced her lips that she briefly stifled. "You forgot shameless and inept."

"And shameless and inept," he repeated matter-of-factly, almost not realizing he was repeating her. He had to look at her and smile afterward, and she smiled back.

But the smile didn't remain there for long, for Janet was still quite frustrated, her trust in Jack once again throttled for the time being. "I thought I could trust you with this, Jack. How can we go on living as if nothing's changed if you go around telling people about it?"

A dismal expression also graced Jack's face as his eyes focused directly on her. "Well, Janet…the fact of the matter is, things _have_ changed."

Janet was silent. She couldn't argue with a factual statement. She found her hands in her pockets as if she were hiding yet another part of herself from Jack, like when a child covered her eyes and because she couldn't see anyone, she assumed no one could see her either. She sat back against the table with the phone on it, looking down, defeated. After a brief moment she looked back up at Jack. Perhaps he would say something else. Perhaps she wouldn't have to reply.

He did. "I know, Janet. I know this is hard for you because it's hard for me, too," he said. Biting his tongue, he went on, "And I, um, I know as much as you do that…that this wouldn't be a good idea. I know that. I _am_ trying, you see…to just move on."

"I know." The words were barely audible.

He walked up to her and knelt down in front of her, looking up into her eyes as he took her hands in his. "And I'll keep trying. For both our sakes."

At that moment, Janet's father burst out of the bedroom. "I'm sorry, kids, but I really couldn't hold it anymore. I'll be in and out. In and out," he said as he made his way toward the bathroom, but paused upon glancing at the scene before him. "Oh," he said, expressionless.

Janet hopped up. "Daddy! I, um…we were…" Janet looked over at Jack and waved him out of the room. "Look, Jack and I were just having a silly argument and, you know Jack, always trying to fix things, he's just such a…such a _swell_ guy, and he was just merely comforting me about um…a um…"

"About that young lady therapist, Doreen? It's alright, pumpkin, I know you tend to have jealousy issues. I always told you you should've gone to college." He smiled and patted her on the head, leaving a frustrated yet relieved Janet behind, rolling her eyes. But just as quickly as he had closed the bathroom door, it was open in front of Janet again. "You know, that whole scene just now…it reminded me of when your mother and I were here and you told us that you and Jack were married. Thank God that never turned out to be the case," he chuckled and closed the door on Janet once again.

Janet didn't know whether to laugh with him or not, for her entire past with Jack had been a tumultuous yet humorous one, and the situation her father brought up reminded her of that. She looked over at the door to the kitchen where Jack resided. Perhaps the thought of her not being with Jack comforted her father, but as for how she truly felt about it herself, she was unsure if she'd ever really know.


	19. Chapter 18: As Time Goes By

**Behold, a new chapter! Thank you all so much for not giving up on me when it takes me so long to upload in between chapters. I really appreciate your patience as well as your comments, which mean so much to me. Thank you.**

Ch. 18: As Time Goes By

_January 1984_****

Furious, apprehensive, distraught, she wasn't quite sure. A mixture of the three, most likely. Her face became flushed. There was moisture in her eyes that was not yet quite tears, save one blink. But how could he make such a bold decision? She had decided a long time ago that his head wasn't screwed on all too tightly, but never in a million years would she ever think that he'd make a decision so stupid, so selfish…

Not that it was any of her business, of course. Or was it? No, of course it wasn't. It was simply just her duty as his friend to dissuade him from making a decision he'd no doubt regret one day. After all, a vasectomy was not a decision a man made without his significant other. Not, of course, that she was that significant other. Or ever would be. But for the time being, she decided that she was as close to it as Jack had.

Oh God, oh God, what was she doing? There he was, off of his rocker, barely able to sit up straight after the nurse had given him the shot. She'd been certain that putting a baby into his arms would change his mind. After all, Jack was always a big softy. But when he'd still refused to leave, she decided on force, even if she had to lift him herself.

Perhaps it was because she was so distressed that boldness suddenly overtook her, or perhaps it was because she knew that Jack wasn't currently all there anyway, but she didn't hold back when she sat on the hospital bed next to him as she to get through to him.

_**"Jack, I really care for you."**_

"And I care for you too, little Janet."

"Oh, Jack, you may think that what you're doing is the right thing now…but as time goes by –

Jack opened his mouth and belted out his best Sinatra, "You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is still a sigh…" 

She would have killed him if doing so didn't defeat the entire point.

***

The Regal Beagle was dead the next night. Jack sat at the bar as gently as he could, the pain from the tattoo removal still there to remind him not only of the dim-witted choices he'd made while intoxicated, but some sort of strange encounter with Janet at the hospital as well. He faintly remembered how frantic she'd acted, but whatever they'd said remained a mystery. Yet for some reason, he couldn't get an old Frank Sinatra song out of his head.

"What can I get for you, Jack?"

"Just a beer's fine, Mike."

Handing him the mug, Mike looked at Jack, a weary expression on his face.

"You look beat, pal."

"Huh?" Jack asked, looking up at Mike with a dispirited glance. "Oh, yeah…I guess it's been a rough couple of days."

"I can imagine," he grinned. "It's not every day you wake up to the love butt."

Jack rolled his eyes. Dammit, Larry.

Mike stifled a laugh and looked back at Jack. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look, maybe it's not funny to you now, but who knows…as time goes by, you might change your mind. See the humor in it."

Jack forced a smile before his brow began to ruffle as he recognized that line yet again. _As time goes by_…_as time goes by_…hadn't he heard that same line recently? And then it hit him. The song. Janet. She'd said the same thing. Albeit, not in reference to his behind, but she'd said it nonetheless. And why it suddenly bore any significance didn't make much sense either, even as he recalled her exact words:

"Jack, you may think that what you're doing is the right thing now…but as time goes by…"

He couldn't remember what she'd said after that, or would've said and he wasn't entirely sure why he cared so much all of a sudden…

"Hey, pal!"

Larry stood behind him and Jack turned around to find him mouthing "the usual" to Mike. "How's it going, Jack? I'd make another joke, but I'd just end up saying some rude, _cheeky _remark." He sniffled and laughed as he sipped his drink.

Jack closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Leave me alone, Larry."

"Ah, come on. Besides, I have some great news for you. I got us a date with the Litelli sisters next weekend. You get Maria, I get Missy. And I know you're not going to turn that down because I just talked to Terri and Janet and they were saying how they were busy with work all weekend so the apartment is yours. Funny thing about them, or Janet anyway. Terri was telling me how Janet was convinced that you were in the hospital…get this…not to get your tattoo removed, but to get a vasectomy. Ha! A vasectomy!" About to take a sip of his beer, Larry paused for a moment and became serious as he stared off in thought. "Come to think of it, that's not a half bad idea."

Jack sighed as he tried to take in the fifty different thoughts Larry threw at him in what seemed like one breath, but the last of his words stood out. "Wait, a what? A vasectomy? She thought I was getting a vasectomy?"

"Yeah, I guess she was trying to talk you out of it or something. Why she was so concerned about your plumbing is beyond me. I mean, I say if a man wants to avoid the ultimate sacrifice, let him do it."

Jack stared off in thought, ignoring Larry. Was that what Janet was so upset about in the hospital room? That he might've been getting rid of any possibility to ever have children? And what did that say about her and her concerns? Why _was_ she so concerned about his, ahem, plumbing? And then it hit Jack that maybe Janet wasn't as determined to eradicate any possibility between the two of them as she tried to portray – that maybe she did have a hope for their future together after all.

Or was he simply being just a bit too hopeful?

"So what do you say about this weekend?"

"Huh?" Jack said, breaking out of his thoughts.

"The date with the Litelli's? Double M's with double D's, Jack," Larry said as he bit his lip. "Seriously, Jack, your lack of enthusiasm is making me wonder if Mr. Furley is onto something with this whole gay thing."

Jack stood up. "Will you cut it out, Larry? Look, I'll have an answer for you later. I have to go."

And with that Jack stepped outside, leaving Larry alone to shrug before he walked over to the table to talk up a striking blonde.

***

As Jack reached the bottom of the steps to apartment 201, he bumped into Terri, nearly knocking her over.

"Jack! Be careful," Terri whined as she straightened herself out.

Jack looked at the door to the apartment assuming Janet was just behind it, and then looked back at Terri. "I'm sorry, Ter, I just – " he stopped. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I have to pick up a few things at the store." She looked into Jack's downcast eyes, trying to gain his attention. "Everything okay?"

"Um, yeah. Yeah. Fine. It's just um, ya know, Larry told me the funniest thing…" He forced an awkward smile.

Terri rolled her eyes. "Is it that dumb joke about the rhinoceros and the call girl? I swear, if he tells me that one one more –

Jack looked at Terri confused and shook his head. "What? No. I was about to say how Larry told me that…that somehow Janet got it into her silly little brunette head that I was getting a vasectomy yesterday. Is that true?"

"Oh, yeah. Man, was she ever distraught over that. I had no idea why she was so upset. I walked into your room and there she is, this little thing a fraction of your size, trying to hold your sedated self up with every ounce she had in her." Terri chuckled. "Oh, you two. Listen, I have to get going. Bye, hon."

Terri kissed his cheek and left as Jack looked on after her, an expression of bewilderment still upon his face, and then looked back at the door with his mouth slightly open. So it was true. Was it now too much of him too assume, then, that deep down she didn't mean it when she'd said they ought to go on living as if they'd never felt anything for each other?

He determined that the only way to know for sure was to ask.

Opening the door to the apartment, he found Janet idly watering some plants, clad in a pretty, pink sundress. She looked perfect. He didn't want to interrupt her, afraid that doing so would be like running a wet brush across an already perfect, complete painting. Pursing his lips, he opened the door wider and shut it behind him.

She turned around briefly before turning back to water the rest of the plants. "Oh hi, Jack."

He didn't reply, but simply smiled at her back in return.

Still facing the other direction, Janet could sense that Jack wasn't moving. She dreaded days like this. He was going to bring up _the_ subject, one she'd unintentionally brought up herself in the past. She tensed, but continued on with what she was doing. Speaking again, she tried to get him talking about something else. "How's your um…your…situation?"

"My what? My…oh. Oh! Fine, fine. Still a little sore." Janet nodded and silence followed, but this time Jack broke it. Forcing a chuckle, he went on, "Terri, um, told me about yesterday and how hysterical you were."

Finally Janet swung around, her eyes fiery and protesting. "I was not hysterical! I was just trying my best to help a friend!"

"Apparently you tried to lift me up and drag me out of the room," Jack laughed, albeit nervous laughter.

Janet's mouth was open in protest, but it turned into a half-hearted smile. "Well I am just so sorry I care about you and the stupid things you do, Jack. Honestly!" And she turned back around, rolling her eyes.

Gulping, he said, "Well…I care about you too, Janet."

She stopped and looked back over at him, trying to act nonchalant. "Well, I'm glad to hear that Jack."

He nodded, anxious to go on, yet hesitant. "Well I guess I just really appreciate how…concerned you were about me yesterday."

"Really, I was just trying to help. It didn't seem like you to go through such drastic measures."

"Well I'm glad to know that if I ever make any stupid decisions for real, you'll be there to talk me out of it…because you care."

Janet smiled sincerely at him. "I do," she affirmed.

Jack looked down in thought, then back up into her eyes. "And you care about my future?"

In her mind, the answers to his questions were so obvious that it was endearing to see him ask them. She let out a small chuckle. "Jack, yes. Of course."

He finally felt comfortable enough to move a bit closer to her, still looking into her eyes. "Ya know, something you said yesterday…it stuck out to me."  
"Oh?"

"You said that what I was doing might seem like the right thing now, but that as time goes by…" he paused, struggling to find the rest of the words. He improvised. "As time goes by, sometimes you find that what you thought was the right thing at the time, wasn't the right thing after all."

She nodded. "I guess I might've said that," she said, sincerely not completely recalling everything she'd said to him in her rush to get him to leave the hospital.

"It's hard to make a definite decision about something when only time will tell if that decision was the right one. Do you agree?"

"I guess that makes sense. But either way, you have to make a decision nonetheless, don't you? In order to ever know…"

"Yeah."

Janet nodded, a bit confused. "This is a pretty…in depth discussion about a tattoo, isn't it?"

Jack bit the inside of his lip and shook his head. "It's not about a tattoo."

Janet sighed. "No it couldn't be, could it?" Jack said nothing, only shook his head, and she went on, a bit flustered, "Jack if there's something you have to say, just say it."

_Just do it, Jack. Just get it over with. _He gulped and went on,"I think I know why you do things like what you did yesterday…and it's because it might affect our future together. You won't say it, but actions mean so much Janet. I know what's going on in your head."

Janet looked over at Jack. "So that's what you mean by all of this?"

"As as time goes by, things change. People change. And in time, we might see that…that avoiding all of this wasn't the right decision."

Janet sighed, refusing to look into Jack's eyes. "Jack, I told you. This isn't real. It isn't there anymore. So please, stop." No, she thought to herself, her mind would never change. As long as she feared losing her best friend over a stupid relationship that might not work, she wouldn't allow herself to go through with it – no matter how much she wanted to.

"But you care about me?" He pressed, hoping to bring her back to where she was just a moment before.

"Not like that, I don't," she lied.

"You don't mean that."

"I do mean that."

"Then that's your decision. The decision that may or may not be the right one."

"It is the right one," she said, her stubbornness kicking in. She felt cruel, but she convinced herself that acting this way was safe. "Jack, will you ever understand? I thought you understood."

"I thought I did, too. But the more I think about what we're doing, the less it makes sense."

She sighed, unable to get through to him. Would she ever be able to? She looked up at Jack. She wasn't angry; she understood his pain. But rather, she felt sorrowful, almost guilty. "Jack," she began, "what are you going to do if I find someone and I get married and I move away? Are you still going to dwell on this, then?"

"I don't want to think about that now, Janet."

She ignored him. "What then, Jack?"

His sad eyes looked directly into hers before he spoke. "First of all, I would hate him. I wouldn't even try to like him, Janet. I wouldn't, I promise you that." He stopped to think for a moment, afraid to say the words, as if doing so would be betraying himself. "And then, if I had no choice but to let you go…" he paused, not entirely sure of what he'd do, "I'd do my best to find someone else. And I'd feel cruel, Janet, because I would never be able to love her the way that I love - "

"Jack," she cut him off, afraid to let him finish what he was going to say. To hear the words from his mouth scared her, as if they were some spell that would burn away all of her logic. "Maybe you need to start thinking of that being a likely possibility." And, wishing to not have to delve into the topic any further, Janet turned around and walked into the kitchen.

His emotions geared toward anger now, frustration at her stubbornness and being set once she'd made up her mind. But he was tired of pursuing what seemed like a lost cause. It wasn't that he didn't know that what he was fighting for was worth it, it was that each time he tried, the more painful it became. And eventually, he knew, that pain would become too much. He could only put himself through so much.

He walked over to the phone and picked it up, dialing Larry's phone number, hoping he was home by now. He was, having struck out with the blonde he'd been talking to. Jack immediately accepted the offer to go on a date with one of the Litelli twins.

He didn't know that on the other side of the door, Janet was fighting back tears. Her proposal about the future didn't come out of nowhere, for she had recently decided that the only way to prove to Jack that they weren't going to happen was to move on with someone else. And she hoped that she'd meet that person soon, because she knew that the pain of living together was becoming too much for the both of them.


	20. Chapter 19: Maybe He Likes Me, Jack

Btw guys, if you have it, this is a particularly fun episode to watch along with the chapter because of the way that Jack acts when he sees that Phillip is interested in Janet. For instance, just watch the way Jack eyeballs the guy when he walks in with the rose for Janet "She's busy" when he asks her out. ;) The TC writers' idea? That Jack was concerned that Phillip was a fraud. My idea? That Jack is concerned this is the guy that's going to take away Janet.

Edit: This might just be me, but I've noticed that when I publish the breaks don't show up, so just know that they're after the phrases "if only I knew what that was" and "herself that she was assuring"

…..

**Ch. 19: Maybe He Likes Me, Jack  
**  
_March 1984_

When Jack opened the door to find Phillip there, a single rose in hand, having come all that way just to apologize to Janet for his behavior, that strange, gut feeling appeared. The same exact gut feeling people get when they're about to be told a loved one has died, but they haven't heard the words yet so there's still some weird tinge of hope left. And Jack grasped on to that similar hope, even if his gut told him not to. To hell with his gut. Instead, as per usual, he did what his gut told him not to do; he made a joke and formed a conspiracy. He knew, after all, that a conspiracy was the best way to get Phillip, someone who went out of his way for someone he barely knew, who had this weird, glossy look in his eye whenever he looked at Janet, to leave his pleasant bubble alone.

His idea was this: convince Janet that Phillip came all that way for the first thing that came to mind when Jack thought of the guy - the vase - not to apologize. The vase is what brought Phillip into their lives, maybe it could be used to get him out of their lives. He'd have to hurt Janet's feelings a little to assure her that Phillip wouldn't come that all that way just for her, but sometimes being polite and rational just doesn't work. And when it came to Janet, he was hardly ever rational to begin with, even if being that way was at her expense.

So when the idea worked, more or less, even if it was revealed by the "made in Taiwan" marking on the vase that the vase was worth nothing at all, Jack was worried to see Phillip pull into the parking lot (not the driveway, lest Mr. Furley reprimand him again). Why was he back? Was this guy that persistent? And so, another plan had to be divulged, this time without getting Janet too angry at him. So, the idea formed to masquerade his intention to get rid of Phillip with a plan to get Phillip to give Janet another chance.

He didn't know that they'd already made up just fine without him.

He also didn't like the way Phillip looked at Janet. Or, for that matter, the way Janet looked at Phillip. In a sort of manner of biting his tongue, he proceeded to mumble on about how the two should make up when it was clear they already had. The couple ignored him, walked out, and he slammed the door behind them. He turned around with a frown on his face and walked aimlessly across the living room. Terri looked over at him from where she was sitting on the couch and raised an eyebrow.

"What are you looking at?" Jack groaned.

Terri put her hands up. "Nothing. Jeez."

Jack put on a sarcastic smile. "Good."

For a moment after, silence filled the room. Finally, Terri shook her head and sighed. "Is there something wrong, Jack?"

Jack, now pacing, stopped and looked at her. "Something wrong? Why would there be anything wrong? Nothing's wrong." He began to pace again.

Terri stared at him out of the sides of her eyes with a grimace on her face. She wouldn't have pressed the matter any further, had she not been so sure of what that matter was. She got up and walked over to Jack's line of travel and he nearly bumped into her in his haze, letting out a strange shriek. Her hands rested on her hips and she stared him in the eyes.

"Jack. For once, there is something going on inside of that head of yours. Now, I intend to find out what it is because if I don't, the pacing continues, and if the pacing continues, I can't think. And if I can't think, no one else around here will!"

Jack stared at Terri in disbelief at her forthright attitude for a moment and then sighed. "I can think just fine, Terri, thank you."

"Then what are you thinking about?"

"Thinking about? Thinking about…about…"

Terri caught his eyes. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"What? Jealous? Moi, jealous? Jealous of what?"

"Of Phillip."

"Of Phillip? Of that dull, dorky, squinty eyed guy with the creepy smile and the misshapen head? Why would I be jealous of Phillip?"

"Well, you also forgot to mention rich, handsome, thoughtful, and smart, and now he has one thing that you don't have."

Jack stared at her, fearful of what she meant, but asked anyway. "What does he have that I don't have?"

"Janet, for one."

He stared at Terri, terrified that she was on to him. Playing dumb, he asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Terri rolled her eyes. "If you have nothing to say then I won't inquire any further."

Jack glared at her and snapped, "That would be much appreciated, Terri."

As Terri walked back to the couch, she found a magazine and picked it up while Jack continued to stay frozen in place, looking off in thought. He knew he couldn't just stand there and let Terri's words float around him as if they implied nothing. He knew damn well what she meant. She knew. But if he confirmed that she knew what she knew, she'd know that she was right. Wouldn't she? He made a double take in response to the phrasing of his own thoughts and then looked over at Terri, who was blissfully flipping away as she read her magazine. But if she could help him, did he care? Frustrated at her perkiness, he walked over to her and knocked the magazine out of her hands causing it to fly across the room.

Terri looked up at him startled. "What was that for?"

Jack glared at her sarcastically. "You can't just make an accusation like the one you just made, and then go and sit back down to browse through tips on how to identify a cancerous mole!"

Terri pursed her lips and glared at Jack as she got back up. "Why should I feel obligated to comment any further on something that you yourself seem to have no interest in discussing? Instead of rationally thinking things out, you just go and try to ruin Janet's new relationship. Now, here I was sympathizing with you as you pathetically tried to convince Janet that Phillip, clearly perfect, was a fraud, but now all I see is that you –

"Have no idea what I'm doing?"

"Pretty much," she replied, her expression becoming sympathetic. She looked over at his figure, sunken and defeated. "You really care about her, don't you?"

Finally, Jack's eyes lit up and he looked back at Terri. "Care about her?" He forced a laugh. "I don't think those words are strong enough to even begin to describe what…" He tapered off and closed his eyes, rubbing the side of his head with his hand. Eventually, his eyes opened and made their way back to Terri's. "You can see right through me, can't you?"

A slight smile graced Terri's face and she shrugged. "I can see right through you both."

"That…doesn't make you mad?"

"Jack, the only thing that would make me mad would be if the two of you had a raging affair going on between these walls without my knowing. _That_would make me mad. But real feelings?" She shook her head. "No, that doesn't make me mad at all."

"Doesn't matter anyway. You don't ever have to worry about anything ever happening."

Terri frowned, hating to see her friend look so defeated. "So that's it? You've given up just because she's going on a date with some guy?"

"I've given up because she told me to." Frowning, he took a few steps as he stared at the ground. "I just…don't know what to do, Terri. I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't."

"And you've tried talking to her?"

"She doesn't want to talk. She's made up her mind. And-and the crazy thing is, I know she's right. I know that we'd be throwing so many things right out the window if we took a leap…"

"But there might always be that staggering 'what if," Terri said, finishing his sentence for him.

Jack looked up at her and forced a smile. "I'm glad you're being so cool about this. But can I just ask that, whatever you do, don't try and talk to her about this. I'm already driving her nuts as it is."

Terri flashed a sympathetic smile in return. "I won't bother either of you unless you call on me to help you. After all, this is between you two and, well, maybe it's best that you both do what's best for yourselves."

"If only I knew what that was."

…..

Janet hadn't ever met anyone like Phillip before. There'd been plenty of handsome, charming men that she'd dated in the past, but never any that would go out of their way for her. There were never any that would track her down just to apologize and see her face. But most importantly, he had eyes for her and only her, never straying. And there at the restaurant they'd gone to for their date, she couldn't help but stare back, perhaps to find answers in the face of a man that she wasn't even sure was real. It was as if he was sent to her to distract her, to take her away from anything that ever worried her about Jack. And it was working. If Jack was on her mind, he was in the very furthest corners of it. Surely he wouldn't be a problem tonight.

Her hands rested in his over the table where they sat across from each other. It was strange, this feeling of letting herself fall for someone else, especially someone that was so different from Jack in every way, and yet here she was, strangely fascinated by someone she'd only known a mere few days.

Finally, Phillip spoke. "I feel guilty admitting this, Janet, but I almost didn't stop by your apartment the other day."

"Oh," Janet said, a tinge of disappointment in her voice. "Well I'm glad you did."

"Well don't take it the wrong way it's just that…I didn't think it'd be appropriate to see you because I'd sort of assumed that you and Jack were, well…"

"What?" Janet asked, forcing a slight chuckle.

"Well obviously that wasn't the case, but I sort of feel guilty for coming anyway without really having known."

Janet flashed him an endearing smile and shook her head. "There's no reason why you should feel guilty because there's no reason for you to think that there was anything between me and Jack." She paused for a moment, thinking to herself, '_is there?_'

"Then I'm glad," he smiled, squeezing her hand. "Because then I never would have gotten the chance to know you better." He looked at her, but it was clear there was still some uncertainty and discomfort.

"Phillip? Is everything alright?"

"Well it's just that…since we're already on the subject. I mean, if you don't mind me asking…"

Janet scrunched her brow. "I don't think I follow."

"It's just…you and Jack, you see awfully close and I couldn't help but wonder if there was ever anything between the two of you."

"Oh," she said, looking around nervously but collecting herself quickly. "Oh, no, no, there was never anything like that. Jack and I are just -" She paused to look for the words that she wanted to say, even though she wasn't really sure of what those were. A lie, of course. Slowly, she went on, "Jack and I are just very close. We've known each other a long time. If anything, we're like brother and sister. Our friends call us Donny and Marie," she joked, finally forcing a smile.

Smiling in return, a bit of relief present in his face, he replied, "I'm sure glad to hear that. But unfortunately, I get the idea that he doesn't like me very much."

"Oh, no, that's just Jack. He's just being like, well, like a big brother," she tried her best to assure him.

"So then, when Jack wouldn't let you leave with me…that was just his way of looking out for you?"

"Yes. Yes, of course. Look, Phillip, he lost any excuse to dislike you when we proved the vase wasn't real."

"But he still looked at me like…"

"Like what?"

"Like he wanted to kill me."

Janet laughed. "He doesn't want to kill you."

"Are you sure?"

Phillip!" She said, forcing a laugh. "Forget about Jack. It's just you and me right now." But it wasn't so much Phillip as it was herself that she was assuring.

…..

It didn't take long for Jack to realize that, according to his own mind's view, the best way to deal with the situation was to not deal with it at all. For some strange reason, doing so made all the sense in the world. "Que será será." It had always been his saying. Whatever will be will be. And while to the casual observer such a quick resolution might seem foolish, to Jack it was the only way he truly knew how to cope. If Janet was meant for him, and he knew deep down that she was, then she'd be with him. He couldn't afford to continue to pester her about the matter anymore, not when she had let it go. Something in his mind sighed as he hoped that it wouldn't be as hard as it sounded.

But when Janet walked into the kitchen the next morning with a smile on her face, he returned a genuine one back,

"Good morning, Jack. How was your night?"

"Wonderful," he replied as he scrambled some eggs. "Spent most of the night at the Beagle. Met a lovely lady. I got her number and then I lost her number, and, apparently, I've learned, Mr. Furley has a girlfriend."

"He _does_?" She asked, her eyes bulging.

"No, I just wanted to see your reaction," he grinned as he spooned some eggs onto the plate in front of Janet.

Janet looked up at him and her eyes danced. "You seem awfully happy this morning. Any reason?"

"Not really. Just extra chipper, I guess."

"You're using words like chipper, now I know something's up."

Jack laughed and sat down next to her. "Nothing's up. I'm just in a good mood, that's all. It's been awhile since I've had one of those." He paused for a moment after he took a sip of his coffee. "How was – how was your date with Phil?" he asked, still putting on his smile, now less genuine, but convincing.

Janet's eyes lit up at his so casually bringing up the subject. "Oh, it was fine," she began, not wanting to reveal to him how much she had actually enjoyed her time with Phillip, but it was difficult to hold back. "Wonderful, actually."

Jack swallowed then looked over at her, forming a sort of half smile. Had she said anything more, maybe he wouldn't have been able to handle it. Maybe he would've had to revert back to reality. But she hadn't used any words revealing anything stronger. She hadn't said she was falling for anyone, but she was. He stared at her for a moment, taking her in, and realized how happy she was in that moment. But a moment was only a moment, he told himself. And so, he spoke. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Y – you are?" She said, relieved. She hadn't expected him to react so positively so soon.

"Yeah," he nodded, still looking into her eyes.

Returning his gaze, she placed her hand on his. But just as quickly as she made the gesture, she pulled away as if his hands were hot coals. The longer she held on, the more it'd burn. Her eyes left him and she forced them to look elsewhere, and so he stood up and went back to his cooking.

Soon Terri walked into the kitchen and Jack spooned her some eggs. As Janet forked some of her own, she tried to comprehend the brief conversation she'd just had with Jack. It seemed that, as much as she channeled Jack out during her most recent date with Phillip, she couldn't help but feel guilty once she'd gotten home, there where she was directly faced with everything that reminded her of Jack. And all that night she thought about what she was doing, where she was headed…with Jack…with Phillip. It seemed Phillip had walked right into her life as some sort of answer, telling her that moving on was what she was supposed to do. It'd been so painfully obvious that it was as if the powers that be were knocking her on the head, giving her a clear answer, telling her that it wasn't supposed to be Jack. It's not Jack. Why then, if such a clear sign came to be, was everything continuing to haunt her? She couldn't convince herself that it was because it was all wrong - that it wasn't a sign or an obvious answer. Clinging to comfort, she only concluded that it was becoming more and more difficult to get over someone that she lived with because that person was always there.

But it was this new attitude that Jack seemed to have acquired that assured her that feeling guilty any longer wasn't necessary; knowing that Jack would be okay was all that mattered. And if she knew that he'd be alright, then she could move on, couldn't she?

Jack, on the other hand, blocked out that Phillip was even important at all. Deep down he knew that it was all he could do to comfort himself, but on the outside he nearly convinced himself to believe it. Ignoring the gut once more, he told himself that Phillip would just be another passing boyfriend. Que será será, he reminded himself. Whatever will be will be.


	21. Chapter 20: Happiest Girl In The World

You guys must hate me for taking so long to update, but I really don't want to just spit this out. It's pretty important to me so I only write when I am absolutely feeling it 100%. I hope you understand. Remember, we're getting back to where we were in the first chapter. In fact, the end of this chapter is on the same night as the night of the first chapter (remember Jack lying in bed? Now it's Janet's turn to think). I put the months and dates in there so that's clear. I hope you enjoy. We're getting close to the end. Just a couple more to go. :/

Note: Bolded words are from the actual transcript. I claim nothing.

**Chapter 20: The Happiest Girl In The World  
**_May, 1984_

She came back. She came back! Not in a million years had he expected her to even bother with him. Did he really make that much of an impression on her while hyperventilating on the plane? But she said that she'd been thinking about him all night when she got back to the Bistro after having to cut her first date with him short when her father dragged her away. Girls had said it to him before. And he'd replied back that he'd been thinking about her all day before, too, but he'd never really meant it. Not really. Was it possible that this time he maybe did mean it?

No, of course not. Of course he didn't mean it, because when she looked into his eyes and kissed him, and when he pulled back and looked back into hers, he didn't see her. There in those eyes were another woman's eyes. And more than eyes, he saw everything he'd ever felt for her and every moment he'd ever shared with her. He saw a playful wink, a giggle while he tickled her, a hug that lasted longer than it should have, a smile that lit up the room. He felt her tears on his cheek and the wetness of them as he wiped them away. He saw a reassuring sigh and a nod. Vicky blinked once and it all vanished.

After a moment he got up.

"Jack, is everything alright?" Vicky asked.

He looked at her and smiled. "Yeah, everything's fine. Um, would you excuse me for a minute?"

Making his way to the bathroom, he shut the door and leaned against the sink. Slowly he lifted his face to look into the mirror. Yup. It was still him. It was Jack Tripper that left a girl alone in his restaurant to go and ruminate about his feelings. Sighing, he sat down on the toilet feeling like a bit of a fool, but he didn't care. There was too much to think about. How, for instance, Janet was becoming more and more serious about Phillip. How he was at the apartment all the time. How he had to force himself to be nice to him. And how much he hated the way he looked at Janet – _his_ Janet. How things had been so routine for over seven years and suddenly there's this man and Janet isn't around as much anymore and how it was driving him insane. It was becoming harder and harder to convince himself that Phillip was just another one of Janet's silly boyfriends.

Jack prided himself on his acting – on acting happy for her, acting like he was just fine, and acting like neither one of them had any unfinished business with one another. Why was it so easy for her to ignore it all? Was she really over him, or was she a good actress, too? He knew she could be. He knew how strong she was capable of being. But was she capable of acting so happy? Was she really that happy with this man?

And that's what hit him. The realization that yes, she was happy, happier than he recalled seeing her in a long time. Shouldn't he be happy, too? Didn't he have every right to move on and to find someone else to love? Didn't he have a girl right outside that door who came back to see him because he was the one that was on her mind and nobody else? Wasn't that some sort of chance staring him in the face, telling him to let go and that letting go was his right?

Vicky! He thought, suddenly realizing how long he'd been in the bathroom. Quickly he got up and opened the door and ran back to the table they'd been sitting at.

A slightly bemused, slightly confused look graced her face. "Jack…are you alright?"

"What?" he asked, until he realized that it was, in fact, the bathroom he'd retreated to. "Oh, no. I, um…false alarm!" He joked, suddenly feeling an intense embarrassment.

"Oh. Well then…where were we?" she smiled as she leaned in to kiss him again.

"I think we were kissing…" he replied as he returned the favor.

If Janet could fall in love with somebody else, then so could he. At least, he could try.

xxxxx

It was easy to joke around with Janet the next morning. He even joked about her and Phillip being alone together, smiling great big smiles, ready to tell them all about Vicky. The night before had left him in a positive mood that still lingered and blinded him to the shining diamond on Janet's left ring finger. The smiles on both of their faces were hard to remove when she'd told him the news. It was fairly easy to act happy for her when she announced that she and Phillip were going to get married. But what wasn't easy was when she explained that she'd have to find a new place to live. With a new place to live, she'd no longer be right there next to him – and that's when he knew that this was real.

Without explanation he left the kitchen, a concerned Janet following. Terri knew this was another one of their moments so she left well enough alone, remaining where she was. But after a brief moment she peered through the door, her heart breaking at what she saw.

"_**Aw, Janet, see that's one of the things I love about you. You can always make me feel good," **_she heard him say, a sadness and defeat in his eyes.

"_**Thank you, Jack,"**_ Janet replied and then stopped. Suddenly tears began to well up in her eyes. _**"I'm really going to miss you, Jack."**_There in her heart was a sort of letting go, for it wasn't just a person she'd be missing, but every moment she'd ever had with him – or ever could have.

_**"Aw, Janet. Hey, Janet? Come on now, you're gonna be the happiest girl in the world." **_He, too, felt the letting go. He tried his best to convince her that this was right, that this is what would make her happy. And surely with Vicky he'd be happy, too. Every choice was for happiness. Why, then, were they sitting here together, she crying and he on the verge of tears himself?

Terri slipped her head back into the kitchen to let them continue talking for a moment. She had promised Jack she wouldn't interfere or say a thing, yet she found it incredibly hard not to. If it was happiness they were concerned about, then why were they leaving behind what had made them both so happy for seven years?

xxxxx

Janet felt her heart swell, a lightness in every movement that she made. Jack was happy, too. Extremely happy, it seemed. Out of all the girls he'd ever dated, he never seemed so preoccupied with one before. It was a bit of a relief, she admitted to herself with some guilt, to know that his mind wasn't entirely focused on her anymore. The terrible burden of hurting someone had seemingly been lifted – he was even being nice to Phillip. Everything, it seemed, was just as it should be.

And yet she couldn't help but feel that maybe something was wrong. Something felt off. While she was thrilled to finally see Jack so happy, she had never seen him act so crazy about a woman so fast. He had met her just the day before…it was if she'd come out of nowhere. And already, he was intent on she and Terri meeting her. If Janet knew anything about Jack and how he behaved in love, he never seemed to realize it so quickly, not when he was serious. Or rather, she had never seen him take a woman that seriously at all, not like this. Not unless it was her.

But she could see his jealous nature peer through when Vicky left the apartment to go out with another man. His disappointment evident, he proceeded to make fun of Rex once they'd left. If she didn't know him any better she'd say he was in love. But she did know him better…and he wasn't in love. No, the more he reacted, the more she realized that it wasn't love at all; it was a game. A stupid game that he was playing to throw her off, and she didn't much care for his childish way of thinking. Well, she could play games, too. After he busted into the kitchen, Janet left Phillip and Terri behind to talk to him. If he wanted her to believe that he was in love, then she'd give him just what he wanted. And so, she told Jack point blank that he was in love with Vicky.

He stared off for a moment, not quite registering what she'd said. In love! Did she really believe that? Quickly he turned around and looked her in the eyes. She looked so sincere. So much so that it angered him. Was any of this getting through to her? Did she not see the way he'd paraded Vicky in front of her, purposely pretending to forget her name when he introduced them?

He pursed his lips for a moment as he continued to look her in the eyes. Swallowing slowly, he spoke. "You're right." He paused to concentrate on her face once more and went on, "You're right, I am." With you, his mind screamed. _With you._

Janet forced a smile a nodded. She wasn't quite sure what was going on in his mind at that moment, something she wasn't used to with Jack.

But Jack couldn't help himself as he continued. "Are you alright with that?"

So there it was. Why was he being so difficult? Why couldn't he move on? Why was he playing this up so much? It was as if he was trying to destroy her. She looked down, fidgeting a bit, and looked back up at him. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugged awkwardly, although it was clear that he was a bit frustrated.

"Okay, well…then I, um, I'll just head back to the living room. Are you coming?" she asked.

"Yeah," he waved her off. "I'll be out in a minute."

She looked at him again briefly, feeling a tinge of guilt at how foolish she was behaving, and left the room.

"And that's when I said, 'Aunt Margaret, monkeys can't talk!'" Janet found Phillip on the tail end of a joke as she entered the living room.

"Oh Phillip, you're too funny!" Terri laughed.

"Gosh, if I'd have been gone any longer, you might've ended up marrying another roommate…" Janet awkwardly joked.

On cue, Jack burst out of the kitchen and fluttered his eyelashes. "It's true, Janet. He was too afraid to tell you before, but I'm not afraid. Isn't that right, Philly-Poo?"

Phillip merely grimaced as a good-humored half-smile graced his face.

Glaring at Jack for a moment, Janet turned back to Phillip and Terri. "Anyway, where we we-

"No, if you must know I am not, in fact, a homosexual. As a matter of fact I'm very much in love with a woman."

"Oh Jack, that's wonderful!" Terri said.

"Well, you know. It seems as though it's just so easy to fall in love these days so fast," he forced a menacing smile toward Janet and she proceeded to ignore him.

"Well, sometimes love happens at first sight," Janet said, and although she smiled at Phillip as she spoke, her words were meant as a retort toward Jack.

"Yes well, then, some people would think so, wouldn't they?"

Janet turned toward him and huffed, "Yes, they would!"

"Is…everything alright?" Phillip asked.

"I have a feeling we're missing something here," Terri added.

"No, everything is fine," Jack raised his voice, clearly upset.

With a forced grin, Janet went on, "I think that maybe Jack is just a little upset about Vicky leaving to go on her date with Rex, isn't that right Jack?"

"I am livid, Janet. My heart is wrenched. And it absolutely is because of Vicky because she is the only girl that I can think of wasting my time on," he forced a chuckle and smiled at the other three before he re-entered the kitchen. "Will you all kindly excuse me again?"

"Boy, love sure does strange things to a person," Terri quipped, knowing full well the true reason for Jack's actions.

"Phillip, I'm so sorry. This was supposed to be a celebration with my friends and –

"No need to apologize. I understand exactly how Jack is feeling. If I couldn't be with the one I loved, I'd be acting the exact same way." He put his arms around her and smiled and she nervously smiled back, but the embrace of guilt and concern was a bit stronger.

xxxxx

As she lay in bed a few nights later, Janet tried to comprehend what it would be like not living in apartment 201, but most of all she tried to imagine what life would be like not living with Jack. She felt as though she was losing him. Since the get together a few nights before he had not said much to her, save a hello or a good night, and he spent most of his free time at the Bistro. She felt terrible…as if somehow it was all her fault that everything was as complicated as it had become. If only she hadn't said anything about her feelings to begin with, if only she hadn't hurt him, if only she hadn't felt this way at all. And now, it seemed that some sort of cruel fate was playing a hand in all of this. They had avoided dating for fear of somehow losing each other, but taking the opposite path was pulling them apart indefinitely as opposed to the mere possibility that the other path posed. But there was no going back now. He had to understand that.

But she refused to lose him. Every decision she had made was to keep Jack in her life, not to push him further away. Regardless of how they felt about one another, how deeply their feelings went, they were still best friends. Did he remember that?

Her room that night seemed quieter than usual. It was a cruel silence that taunted her. She looked over at Terri's empty bed; she was working the night shift again. Janet tossed in her bed once more, trying to find a comfortable position, but it was no use. The nerves wouldn't allow it. Sighing, she pushed herself up, slowing tossing her feet onto the floor one at a time. The only way to make the uncertainties go away was to address them head on.

Opening her bedroom door, she made her way toward Jack's room. She stopped for a moment; she had looked at that door so many times before, but it suddenly seemed so foreign. A part of her felt as though she might as well have been knocking on the door of a stranger. The feeling terrified her. A worried expression on her face, she silently leaned against the door for a moment and closed her eyes. She wished it were him. She wished that that simple gesture would explain everything, that it would somehow cause everything to finally make sense. She wished it would tell her that everything would work itself out in due time.

But there were no answers, only the steady rhythm of her soft breathing. Finally she pulled back and looked at the door once more. She swallowed slowly and somehow raised her fist to knock.

"Jack? It's me, Janet."


	22. Chapter 21: For Being Too Proud

Just a heads up to make sure no one gets confused, this chapter takes place directly after chapter 1. It might help to re-read it to follow this one. :) As always, sorry for taking so long to update. Just one (or two) more after this one. :(

**Chapter 21: For Being Too Proud  
**_May, 1984_

Janet's eyes opened, but the sunlight hurt. She squeezed her eyelids together to remedy the burning, but it only helped a little. Something didn't feel right, but in her sleepy haze she couldn't quite figure out what. Pushing herself up, she tucked a strand of her dark, dark brown hair behind her ear and looked over to her left. First the clock met her eyes – 7:03, it read. Terri was asleep, probably having only gotten back from the hospital an hour or so ago.

Lifting herself up out of her bed, she quietly made her way to the bedroom door, so as not to disturb Terri, and stopped just short of it as the butterflies hit. Suddenly, she remembered. Jack's eyes - a look in them she had never seen before. It was something she feared and longed for at the same time because she knew it was all for her, but she didn't want it to be. She didn't want anyone to feel any pain because of her, least of all him. At that moment, she wanted to run into his room and tell him that she was sorry for yelling at him, but her pride told her she'd been yelled at, too. Whimpering to herself a bit, she opened up the door to head to the bathroom, but noticed that Jack's door was wide open. Unwilling to face him at such an early hour, she turned to head back to her room until it hit her that Jack was never up this early on his day off.

"J-Jack?" she called out afraid to hear his voice, or worse, to not hear it. There was no answer, but her faltering voice was only barely above a whisper and it was possible he hadn't heard.

Making a whimpering, sighing noise once more she walked over to Jack's door and peeked her head through. The room was empty. She'd have run and checked every other room in the apartment if it weren't for a few telling signs: a fully made bed, missing shoes, and a light rectangular spot on the wall where Jack's favorite Beatles poster once hung. Janet's heart beat faster and she immediately grew frantic. She walked over to his closet and noticed that most of it had been emptied and his suitcase was gone. Walking over to the bed, her eyes shot back and forth as she tried to spot a note, anything, to let her know where Jack had gone. Within moments his bed was torn apart, pillows were tossed, and bedside drawers were pulled out but there was nothing. There was no sign of Jack – no sign he had ever been there at all.

"Terri!" she called, no longer concerned about the state of her roommate's slumber. She ran back into her room and over to Terri, shaking her wildly until the poor girl was wide awake, clutching at her chest.

"What! What's going on? Who died? Am I dead?" Terri yelled as she shot upright, clutching her sheets in fear.

"Terri," Janet breathed heavily with worry, "Jack's gone! He ran away!"

"What?" Terri looked at Janet as if she was nuts. "That's ridiculous, he was sound asleep when I got home."

"He was? Did you see him?"

"Of course I didn't see him, he was in his room asleep."

"Then how did you know he was in there?"

"Janet, I got back at 5am like I always do on my night shift. Jack is never up before seven."

Janet began to panic even more and she shook Terri. "Terri, how do you know he was in there if you didn't see him?"

Pushing Janet away, Terri looked on in shock. "Janet, what on earth is wrong with you?"

"I woke up. Jack's door was open. Terri, he's gone! He took his stuff and he left and he's gone." Each time she said the word _gone_ she emphasized it more. "Come and see for yourself!"

Pulling Terri out of bed, the two of them walked back into Jack's room and Terri's jaw dropped at the sight of the disheveled bedroom. "Oh Janet, he's been kidnapped!"

Frustrated, Janet glared at Terri. "_I_ did that! I was searching for a note…but there's nothing."

Terri continued to look on puzzled and wide-eyed, examining the signs of Jack's departure. Finally she spoke, "I don't understand. Why would he just up and leave?"

Janet, too, gazed throughout the room, her eyes showing deep regret and sorrow. "It's all my fault," she said quietly, her eyes still scanning the room. "He left because of me."

xxxxx

"Jack! What are you doing here this early, can't you see that I'm busy?"

Jack pushed his way past Larry and into his friend's apartment, ignoring his comments. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a scantily clad red head on the couch, but the new Jack wasn't interested in whatever was revealed. The new Jack was weary and tired of the same old game.

"Look, I'm sorry to bother you so early. I'm just came over to drop off some things and then I'm out of here."

Larry rubbed his eyes and squinted at Jack – both his eyes and his mind were still fuzzy at such an early hour. "Well you couldn't have waited until later?"

"Larry, what's going on? I'm tired," the red-head squeaked.

"Go back to bed, Paulette. You know where the bedroom is," he winked at her as she got up with a snivel and made her way out of the room. "Alright pal, I'd love to help but Larry doesn't get up until the sun does and - "

"Funny you put it that way, Larry, because I've never seen you up until after the sun goes down," Jack snapped.

"Whoa, whoa, hey! Easy, pal! Just tell me what's going on here. What's with all the stuff?"

"I'm leaving and I have some things that I no longer want nor need. I'm in a hurry so can you please just - "

"Hold up. Leaving? W-where are you going?"

"I don't know. Home. Anywhere but here." His eyes had pain in them but he did not look at Larry.

Larry still misunderstood him, assuming "here" merely meant his own apartment. "Hey, now, I didn't ask you to come. Go home, then. And what are you in such a hurry for? It's right downstairs."

Jack closed his eyes and shook his head, then looked back at his friend. "No, you're not following. I'm leaving Santa Monica, Larry."

Larry's brow furrowed and he looked at Jack for a brief moment before replying, "What? Leaving? Why? What about the restaurant? What about the girls?"

"Look, I'm not going to get into reasons, okay? All I know is I have to get out of here and soon."

"You can't just leave and not give a reason, Jack. What do Janet and Terri think about all of this?"

"They don't know. And it's better if we keep it that way. As for the restaurant, San Diego isn't too far. I'll make trips back as needed."

Larry was suddenly in a panic, afraid to lose the one guy out there he could call a friend. "W-what…this is crazy talk, Jack! You can't just - " Larry paced and reached into the box Jack had set down on his table and pulled out a small notebook. "Your little black book? Jack! Buddy! What are you going to do without…oh boy. Oh no. This is serious, isn't it? This is about a woman, isn't it? Aw, Jack, buddy. No! I told you to be more like me. What – did you go and do something stupid like fall in love? Is this about that Vicky girl you told me about?"

"No, Larry, I - " Jack stopped himself. He knew telling his friend the truth would only cause more trouble with Janet, more trouble that he clearly could not afford. "Um…yeah, it's about a woman. It's about her. But please, just don't make me go into details right now." He hadn't said a name, so he wasn't really lying.

"What I don't understand is why one fight with one woman would cause you to want to leave Santa Monica…"

"It's more complicated than you think, Lar." He sighed. How could he tell his friend that he had both experienced and ruined so much life with a person he'd only recently met? "For my own sanity…I can't be here anymore. Too much has happened. I can't look at her without everything…hurting."

Larry shook his head with a dumbfounded, forced grin on his face and waved his arm out as he proclaimed, "So don't look at her, then! Even old Chrissy could've thought of that!"

Jack sadly smiled at the reference and at his poor friend's ignorance. "If only it were that easy." But he couldn't avoid someone he lived with. He couldn't work at a place where everywhere he looked, there she was – a place that, without her help, wouldn't exist. He couldn't visit a beach where he'd caught her vibrant eyes looking back at him as she laughed at the seagulls landing for a piece of bread. He couldn't go to the pier where she discreetly bumped into him in his bumper car, startling him and then letting out a modest smirk at his reaction. He couldn't go to the Beagle and not think of how he'd made her laugh there, or conspired or begged or flirted or misunderstood, but mostly laughed. No, he could not go anywhere in this city, not without seeing her there – in everything.

xxxxx

It was not until the tickets for a direct flight to San Diego were purchased did Jack feel the reality of his choices setting in. He'd spent the rest of the day making arrangements at the restaurant, plans for the future, and insisting that someone else answer the phone each time it rung. There was no doubt that over half of those phone calls came from the girls.

"He checked in this morning, and that was the last I saw of him," Felipe replied to an apprehensive Terri when she stopped by in the afternoon, upon orders from Jack – and Jack mere feet away upstairs.

_Hiding like a coward_, he thought to himself as he attempted to pack some of his belongings for the following morning. And he knew that he was. Never in his life had he done something so childish…so cruel. And yet, he convinced himself, something that was necessary to preserve the life he'd had. Necessary, even if it meant destroying the future. He could not face them, not now (and a sinking feeling in his stomach when he remembered that he left some of his things at the apartment). What would he tell Terri or Mr. Furley? How could he explain that he had broken a promise he'd made to Janet a long ago by going and falling in love with her? How could he explain that the only way to live with how he felt for her was to live without her?

_How could she live with knowing that these rules, these restrictions, her stubborn disposition had driven him away?_ Janet thought in her room, huddled on her bed, waiting at home in case Jack returned while Terri was out looking for him. All the while that she had known him, no matter how strongly she felt for him, she could never see past the fact that he was Jack Tripper – that he had loved _women_, not her. That even if he did (oh, but he does, she now knew deep down) it wouldn't matter. It would never, ever work. It was a type of love she'd be too afraid to lose – and losing him eventually seemed all too probable.

Janet jumped at the sound of a click followed by a creak.

"Jack?" she called out and instantaneously jumped up from her bed and ran into the living room.

The door shut slowly behind him.

A shrill cry escaped her when she laid eyes on him. Memories of the night before faded away as she ran into his arms, nearly knocking him over with the force with which she came at him. She squeezed him so hard that it hurt, but Jack said nothing. He only closed his eyes and rested his head on top of hers, squeezing her back.

It was more than a cry, more than a sob. She could barely breath. It was as if he'd been missing for years. But the cries were for more than that, they were for everything she'd regret and everything she'd miss. They were for a life she couldn't have and no plausible explanation as to why. They were for everything she'd felt for seven years – feelings that ran into walls. She was so very, very stubborn. Her tears soaked his sleeves.

"I'm so sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry," she cried, still holding onto him and her face still buried in his chest.

"For what?" He asked, pulling her away, his hands on her arms, so he could look at her. "None of this is your fault. You're not the one who can't move on, Janet. I am. I'm ruining everything for you and I can't do that to you anymore."

She looked at him and spoke through tears. "Jack, don't say that."

He pulled away from her and moved around the room. "But it's true! I'm making you miserable; we're making each other miserable!"

"Jack..."

"You deserve a life free of…of insecurities with the person you love. I know what it is, Janet, you're afraid of me. Well, I don't blame you. You deserve more than that."

"Jack stop, that's not - "

He walked up to her once more, taking her hands in his. The way he looked at her, his sad, loving eyes and his lips that seemed almost to pout, curved sideways into a forced grin. A downhearted grin. "You deserve everything," he nearly whispered. "And I'm not going to do this to you anymore."

Although she had stopped crying, another tear fell from Janet's eye as she looked up at him. She wasn't quite sure what Jack was trying to say, but the fact that he had moved most of his things out of the apartment wasn't boding too well for any guesses she might have.

"I don't," she stuttered. "Jack, I don't understand." A fearful part of her did.

He sighed uncomfortably as he moved away from her once more. It was hard to continue looking at her, but he did with those same, sad eyes. "I'm leaving. I'm heading back to San Diego. Don't try to stop me, Jan. I'm leaving and I wish you the best, but I – I can't be here anymore. I can't see you with him. Janet, there's no way I can attend that wedding."

It was back again, the anger. Now he was being a fool. How could he not be there for her when she needed him? He walked toward his room but she grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Don't walk away from me, Jack," she said with force. "You're not going anywhere," she pouted.

"I have to."

Janet stood there staring at him, her lips pursed and her fists slightly clenched. In an instant she was in her own room, digging a suit case out from under her bed and throwing it on top of it. Jack was standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing?"

"You're not going anywhere, I am," she said as she headed toward her dresser and opened it.

"Janet, don't turn this into some sort of game…"

Janet wanted to scream. "It's _not_ a game, Jack! Do you understand that? You stay, I'm leaving." She gave up on the suitcase. Her main goal was to get out of there; she didn't care. She entered the living room, grabbed a coat, and swiftly walked outside.

"Janet!" Jack called after her.

The air was damp. It hadn't rained, nor was it going to, but moisture floated around them. It wasn't a dense fog, but enough to make everything not so clear. Maybe they really couldn't see in front of them, with so much already swirling inside.

Janet walked on, ignoring Jack despite his questions. "Where are you going?"

The truth was, she didn't know. She may have begun heading in the direction toward Phil's. It was hard to get anywhere when she couldn't see and didn't know where she was really going. Jack's cries behind her were like propellers pushing her forward faster, trying to escape them. His longer legs carried him faster toward her. She knew he could've reached her just by stretching out an arm, and that's why she stepped out into the street the moment she approached it, not bothering to look around her. She took a few steps and heard her name once more, screaming to look out. She heard the sound of a horn but before she could process what was happening she'd been pulled away and was hitting the pavement of the sidewalk. Her eyes looked up at Jack's, which were brimmed just slightly with tears.

"Janet! Janet, are you alright?" he seemed to whisper and yell at the same time, his tone one of trepidation. He held her head in his hands, and he used one to push the hair away from her face, running down alongside it, making sure she was still there.

She couldn't speak in that moment, only nod. Her eyes were still staring into his. It wasn't quite registering what was going on. All that she could see was Jack – everything else about her was fuzzy. Lifting herself up, she reached out for him and he pulled her in. The kiss was different than any they'd shared before. It wasn't hesitant, it wasn't fearful or self-conscious. There was no awkwardness, no arguing over which side was better or whether or not to tilt ones nose to the left or to the right, or your right, or what difference does it make?

For it didn't have to be planned out this time; it simply was. They seemed to melt into each other with no effort at all, finally letting go of their inhibitions (which, it seemed, was all they'd had to do all along). Janet's hands still grasped onto Jack's shirt, knowing that when she let go the moment would be gone forever. She fell deeper into him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he responded by puller her closer. Their lips danced over each other's, making up for anything they'd ever denied before. For pretending what they felt wasn't really there - a kiss. For being too proud to feel it – a kiss. For a love that never had a chance – a kiss. For the hunger that was now being fulfilled, the fear, the release – a kiss, a kiss, a kiss.

Both were certain they'd have stayed right there forever if time itself didn't exist, and even though in that moment it seemed to have stopped altogether, they knew that the world around them continued to move. And so, too, must they. They finally broke away, breathing heavily as they looked into the other's eyes, their foreheads resting against each other. Both pairs of eyes carried a steadfast uncertainty in them. Jack's arm, still wrapped tenderly around Janet's waist, now reluctantly pulled her with him to her feet. He still held her protectively in his arms as, this time, their eyes stayed glued to the road in front of them until all was clear. When it was, his hand slipped into hers and he pulled her behind him. They swiftly made their way back to the apartment, both of them wishing to God that they didn't see anyone that they knew on the way up.

After what seemed like forever, they reached the door to apartment 201 and Jack slowly closed it behind them. Their hands still remained intertwined. They both feared that letting the other go would become more than just the physical act of releasing their hands from one another. Jack tried to open his mouth, but words did not come out. They only looked at each other from the sides of their eyes, unsure of what to do next.

The click of the door saved them any more worrying, and they quickly pulled apart before Terri entered the apartment.

"Jack!" she cried. "There you are! We were worried sick!" She went in to hug him, but stopped herself when she finally began to sense the awkward atmosphere in the room. Her facial expression quickly shifted from relief to concern when she saw the looks on her friends' faces. Janet's hands were clasped, and worry was in her eyes as she looked off to the side, not acknowledging Terri. Jack, on the other hand, looked down, appearing almost guilty.

If it had been anybody else, Terri would have assumed that something terrible had happened. But knowing, deep down, the saga of Jack and Janet's tumultuous relationship and of Janet's suspicious guilt throughout the day, she knew that something had happened between her two best friends – something big – and that she had just walked in on it.

"Oh, I um," she began, fumbling over her words. "I'll just…" Without finishing, she walked into the kitchen to leave the other two alone.

They hated to leave Terri in the dark, but neither one of them could move. Taking advantage of being alone once more, Jack cautiously looked over at Janet, who still seemed to be staring off at something that wasn't there, before walking over to her and holding her in his arms once more. They'd deal with the rest of the world later.


	23. Chapter 22: Someone You Love

First, I just want to thank you all so much for reading along with me and being patient with the slow updates. I tried to make this as canon as possible, down to little details that many of you probably haven't even noticed because, unlike me, you're sane. I wanted it to be as real for you as it is for me. These people are real, and I wanted to reverse the injustice done to them.

It's really been a pleasure. And I really, truly hope that this has given those of you who are in love with this show as much as me some closure. Closure, I guess, for the ending that was forced upon us even if most of us really didn't want it. I guess I hope that this story has softened the blow a bit. I love these two characters, I think, almost as much as they loved each other.

Enjoy. :)

**Chapter 22: You're Lucky Enough to Find Someone You Love**_  
May, 1984_

They talked for hours on that night. They wouldn't have known the time if the faint red glow of the sun hadn't peeked in from behind the curtains, reminding them of their last chance to catch some sleep. The two of them had done nothing wrong – had remained faithful to their respective partners save that one kiss – they had simply talked and talked as best friends tend to do.

Jack noticed Janet's eyes when she mentioned Phillip. There was sadness in her love for him, but the love was certainly there. She was stubborn to let go of it for a more complicated life with Jack, and he wouldn't ask her to. He sensed a bit of guilt, and then she decided that she'd have to tell her fiancé about the two of them.

"I just can't keep a secret like this from him, Jack," she'd determined, and he reluctantly agreed.

He was, of course, worried about Phillip's reaction. He and Jack had already gotten off to a bad start. But when Janet told Jack that she'd spoken to Phillip, and that his reaction was one of disappointment but also of acceptance, he was taken aback.

"So the two of you are okay, then?"

"Yes."

"And…and he's not going to kill me?"

Janet shook her head, a faint smile in her eyes. "No, Jack, he's not going to kill you."

He breathed a sigh of relief, but he didn't know what for. "Come here," he beckoned to her with his arms. He hugged her close. "Everything's going to be just fine."

She nodded.

xxxxx

_September, 1984_

"Phil!" Jack said with surprise when he opened the door to find him standing there. He couldn't have come for Janet, who was at work. Anxiety immediately set in.

"May I come in?"

"Sure," he replied, stepping out of the way. Phillip seemed nervous about something, but he understood that the man would act a bit uneasy around him. They had never spoken about the situation that still clearly loomed over both of their heads.

After inviting him to sit down, and following course, an uncomfortable silence filled the room. Jack was just about to make small talk about the unpredictable California weather when Phillip spoke.

"I suppose you're wondering why I came by."

"Well yeah, seeing as Janet's at work."

"I didn't come to see Janet. I came to see you."

He smirked. "I'm sorry, Phil, but I don't do that anymore." His eyelashes fluttered as they did all those times when we teased Mr. Roper or Mr. Furley.

Phillip looked at him oddly and forced a grin in the good humor that wasn't really there. There was a disconcerting pause and an awkward 'sorry' before he went on. "This is a little difficult for me to say, but I think that it needs to be said."

Well, there it was. Jack was waiting for it. He sighed and gulped, looking down at his hands that were now clasped together. "I think I know what this is about."

But Phillip was nervous himself. He'd felt that way around Jack as long as he'd known Janet – that he would never have Janet's heart completely. A piece of it would always belong to the man before him. But he also envied the history they had together - the love that they shared; he sensed the power in it and the bond between two people that it had created. Janet assured him that it wasn't a romantic love, at least not anymore. Yet he had to wonder…was there perhaps a type of love that was even more powerful? A level above the love of friends, a level above the love in a romance…was that what he was up against?

And suddenly he found himself wanting to avoid what he'd really meant to ask Jack, so when he spoke he said, "Can you, uh, tell me a little bit about Janet? I mean, little things that maybe I wouldn't know yet just by being with her."

Jack was taken aback at the question that was actually posed to him after expecting something more serious. "Uh…uh, well," he stuttered. He had to sit back for a moment. Here he was being told to think about the woman he so often tried not to think about – and by her fiancé. Suddenly images pooled into his mind – things she had said or done that he was sure he'd forgotten. Her untrustworthy nature that sweetly melted away with time. How she could be stiff as a board one minute, and the next she could be holding Jack in her arms, playfully teasing him with a kiss or a passionate gaze. The way she didn't know how pretty she really was. That she would never risk friendship for love. Friendship was love.

He broke his silence and smiled. "You know how her favorite color is pink? It used to be blue. I ruined that for her, you know."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"Something to do with a really ugly tie. It's a long story," he trailed off. Phillip scrunched his brow and nodded.

There was a bit of silence. If he began to tell all of the little things he knew and loved about Janet, he'd never find a way to stop. Instead he smiled faintly, "You'll find that with Janet…the most wonderful experience in being with her is just making her smile. I drove her crazy trying, but I always wanted to make her laugh just to catch a hint of that -" He stopped for a moment, afraid that he'd go too far and that he'd reveal too much of how he felt for another man's fiancé. He sighed. There was no other way to say it, and the man _had_ asked. "The way her eyes sparkle, you know? When her face falls into that smile? That to me…that's worth a thousand petty attempts to see it just once."

Jack saw that Phillip was listening, though he wasn't looking at Jack. It was hard to read his face.

"She loves Humphrey Bogart," he spoke again. "And she's the only person I know that doesn't really care for Frank Sinatra, although I found out that it has to do with an old boyfriend who sort of looked like – oh, and I'll tell ya, if she goes 'hmph' with no teeth it's nothing, but if she goes 'Ha!' with a lot of teeth you'd better watch - "

"I need you to answer me something," Phillip cut him off, suddenly feeling a bit bold. "It's just that it's been bothering me ever since Janet told me about your history together." Phillip was not a very forthright type of person, and his voice was quiet as he stuttered through his words. He finally managed to look over at Jack. "Are you - are you still in love with her?"

"Am I – am I – am I -" He stuttered as he was so wont to do when he was thrown off guard, but this time he didn't have Janet there to poke him or smack him in order to snap him out of it.

"It's a yes or no question, Jack," Phillip cut him off, a bit irritated.

Jack stopped, taken aback. He got up, wanting to walk off his nerves. He began to head toward the kitchen. "Do you want a drink?"

"Could you just answer the question?"

Jack cleared his throat and tugged at his collar. "Because I could use a drink," he said barely audible, giving up. He pinched the top of his nose and exhaled, then walked over and sat back down on the sofa. Looking off, he tried to gather his thoughts.

"Do you want to know the truth?" he finally said. Slowly he went on, "A part of me will always love her. I can't make that go away. I've already tried."

Phillip looked down. "Maybe the question I really meant to ask you was…do you think she still loves you?"

Jack's heart sunk. A part of him felt guilty, another part truly sorry for the man. Had he ruined everything for Phillip and Janet? But he couldn't answer for her. Instead, he only had two choices – to hurt Phillip and say that yes, he certainly hoped she did, or to say no, he was sure that she didn't still love him…and in doing so break his own heart.

And yet he knew that if one person in a marriage had insecurities, it wouldn't bode well for either of them. Were it to falter, it would affect Janet's happiness. And that's why he finally decided what to answer.

"No. She has no feelings for me." His words were broken. "You have nothing to worry about."

Phillip wanted to believe Jack, but he didn't. Not deep down. Afterward, Jack tried to pick up the conversation with some more positive topics, and they talked in short spurts for a bit before Phillip finally excused himself. He left feeling only slightly less uneasy than he had come. The encounter left him positive about only one thing: that he wanted to marry Janet and he wanted to marry her soon. He knew she'd wanted a big church wedding with lots of guests – and he would give that to her later. He'd give her another wedding with everyone, with family, long lost friends, and elaborate decorations – but right now the focus was to marry her quickly. City hall, it didn't matter. For he knew that the longer she continued to live with Jack, the harder it would be for her to let go.

xxxxx

Janet slammed the door to her car. She could barely see the path to the apartments because of the tears forming in her eyes. Damn him. Damn Phillip, damn Jack. Damn! A friendly wave from Furley was all but ignored before she opened the door to Apartment 201.

She'd just gotten back from lunch with Phillip, and that's when he'd revealed to her that what she'd always dreamed of – a church wedding- was out of the question. To book one they'd have to wait another two months. And for Phillip, another two months meant another two months that Janet spent with Jack. He felt cruel, but he was afraid.

But Jack felt terrible, too. As soon as Janet told him and Terri what was going on – that she didn't want to marry Phillip if he was going to be this difficult – he knew it was partially his fault. He hadn't been able to deny his feelings for Janet. He pulled her over to him.

"**Let me ask you something. Do you really love Phillip?" **

"**Of course I love him," she replied, staring straight into Jack's eyes. **

"**Then what difference does it make where you get married? You're lucky enough to find someone you love. The important thing is that you're together, isn't it?" He spoke his words quickly. Any faster, and he may falter. **

"**Yes, but…Jack." She turned to Terri looking for another answer. "Terri, I - " Jack squeezed her shoulder. "Well, it just doesn't feel right getting married by some clerk in city hall." **

"**It doesn't have to be city hall!" said Terri.**

"**Well where - "**

"**That's right. Hey, listen! You and Phillip could get married right here," Jack jumped up, an idea hitting him. **

"**Y-you mean in our apartment?"**

"**Why not?" **

"**We can get a minister, flowers, decorations, and everything!" Terri added.**

"**And you know what?" Jack said, pulling Janet over to him. "We could even invite Phillip. What the heck?" **

xxxxx

Naturally the focus of their hearts strayed, as they had been doing for some time now. But no matter where our eyes are looking, it does not mean that what we don't see isn't still there. It may be miles away, it may be right behind us, but it's there. And it's love.

Weeks had passed. The wedding was over. Janet had arrived home from her honeymoon with Phillip a few days earlier. She had moved most of her things out before she left, and Terri and Jack worked on doing just that while she was gone.

"I want to spend one last night here with you two," Janet smiled. "I know – I know I'm married and I'm pretty much moved in with Phillip and all but…but I think we need one more night, dontcha think?"

Jack smiled back. "I think so."

Hours later, the living room was quiet and lit up by the faint blue glow of the muted television set. Three people lay nearly intertwined on the sofa – Terri was slumped over to her side, gravity working its magic on her awkward position. Janet was sprawled in the middle, hugging a pillow to her chest and her head leaned slightly on Terri's shoulder. Jack's head leaned back against the edge of the sofa with his mouth open and the remote in his hand. A large orange blanket draped over them all.

Suddenly there was a faint tapping, followed by a stir.

Janet mumbled, then sat up.

"Jack?" she tapped his shoulder. Nothing. The cavalry couldn't wake Jack.

She began to shrug it off until she heard the noise again. This time she jumped up, knocking the remote out of Jack's hand, which landed on his toe. He shrieked in pain.

"Shh, don't wake Terri. Jack, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" he asked as he nursed his toe.

Another banging.

"That!"

Startled, Jack picked the remote back up and held it as if it were a weapon. "Stay here."

Slowly, he walked over to the door. He opened it, but in the darkness all that was visible was an opaque figure.

"Take Terri to the other room. I'll handle this," Jack said deadpan.

Her heart pounding, Janet did her best to try and pick up the out-cold Terri, but instead ended up dragging her to the bedroom. A light smile graced Terri's face.

Once in the nearly cleared out room, Janet sat against the door breathing heavily. After a moment of silence, she heard a shriek. As if on fire, she grabbed a lamp that had been tossed in a moving box, opened the door, and ran into the living room. The figure stood before her and she hurled the lamp at it.

There was a howl.

"Janet, what are you doing?" Jack flipped on the lights and a wounded Larry stood before her. Larry smiled awkwardly, waved, and then rolled back in a faint.

"Oh, Larry! Oh, I'm so sorry!"

She heard a snort in response, but it did not come from Larry. Her heart dropped and she turned around. Before her stood Chrissy as she tried to stifle a giggle. Larry's head popped up once more. "Surprise." He slumped back down to the floor.

"Oh, Chrissy!" Janet ran to her, her arms wide open. "Oh, I can't believe it! What are you doing here this late?"

"It was the only time I could make it! And plus, I really wanted to give you this." She pulled out a beautiful decorated box and handed it to Janet. "For you and Phillip. I'm sorry I couldn't make it on such short notice, but the baby -"

"Oh, Chrissy, honey, don't worry about it. There's still the big wedding we're having with everyone."

Terri walked out of the bedroom. "Surprise!" she yelled. "Oh, I'm late. Hi Chrissy, how are you?"

"Y-you two have met?" asked Janet.

"Sure we have. The four of us planned the whole thing out. It was Jack's idea," Terri smiled.

Larry staggered up. "Next time let's not stage anything. I'd like to keep my face in tact."

The five friends, save Larry, laughed and reminisced throughout the rest of the night. Once he and Chrissy had left, and Terri went to bed, all that remained were Jack and Janet.

Janet smiled lightly. "So you put everyone up to this, huh?"

"Guilty. I called her earlier. As soon as you suggested we all spend the night together on our last night, it only made sense that Chrissy make an appearance, too."

Janet's eyes glowed as she looked over at Jack, then she walked over and hugged him. "What am I going to do without you?" she whispered into his chest.

"I wonder the same thing," he said, looking down at her. "You know, Janet, I think of how different I was. You know, before you came around. Back then I was just some deadbeat kid living at the Y. Some kid with a dream," his eyes laughed. He rested his head on top of hers. "I know we're not supposed to need other people but I do, I think, need you Jan. Maybe not all the time, you know, maybe I don't need you right here next to me. But I do…need you."

"Oh, Jack," she hugged him close. It had always been hard for Janet to admit things like this. She had always been strong-willed and independent. To think that she needed anyone – just a few years ago the idea would be ridiculous. But now she looked up at Jack and placed her hand on his cheek. "I need you, too."

He smiled knowing that, coming from Janet, what finally saying those words really meant. "And hey, you know something? Regardless of where we are or who we're with or what we do, you'll always be my Janet…and I'll always be your Jack. Promise?"

She let out a contented sigh. "Promise."

xxxxx

Terri shut the door to apartment 201 for the last time. They all felt as though they were closing the door on a part of themselves – a part of their history that with one small motion had ended. Janet could still see the wine stains that rested under the couch, conveniently placed after an accident. She could see the little crack in the wall near the bathroom. The not quite attached hinge of the swinging kitchen door. Little things that had once been burdens were now strangely missed.

A car horn honked in the distance as the three of them made their way down the stairs.

"That would be for me," Terri breathed.

They headed to the parking area where the cab awaited her.

"You sure have that car packed to the brim, Ter," Jack commented.

"Honey, are you sure you don't need anymore help? Jack and I don't have to be anywhere."

Terri smiled. "Nah, I think I'm all set." She paused to look at her two best friends, their eyes bittersweet. "I love you guys."

An exchange of "I love yous" and three-way hugs followed. Janet wasn't sure how many times she had already wiped her eyes.

"Well," Terri sighed. "See you later?"

"And soon," Janet hugged her one last time.

Jack helped her into the passenger seat and gently shut the door behind her, his hand lingering for a moment afterward. As the cab finally pulled away to begin its journey to the airport, Terri's head peaked out of the window to blow a kiss.

There was a brief pause before Jack turned to look at Janet. "Well, kid," he started, "we lost another one. Do you wanna put the add out for a new roommate or should I do it this time?"

Janet let out a laugh and playfully slapped Jack's arm. She shook her head and looked back up at him, and a faint sparkle caught his eye in the sunlight. Noticing what he was looking at, she pulled the necklace out from under her shirt. "It was hidden there," she smiled.

He studied it for a moment – it had been so long. Reaching out, he held the cameo in his hand for a moment. "I almost forgot about this."

"I didn't."

He smiled back at her and tucked a strand of her hand behind her ear before he kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"Hey, you know what I think?" he asked.

"What?"

"I say we put these things in the car," he said, referring to the hamper in his hand and the box in hers, "and have a quick drink at the Beagle. On me. You in?"

"Mm, I don't know. I hear that place is a real hole in the wall," she teased. He pleaded with his eyes. "On you, you said?"

"On me. Ten rounds, if you want. I don't care."

"I _guess_ I could spare a few minutes," she smiled.

As they began the short walk to the Regal Beagle, their minds seemed to wander.

"Remember that time we had that war about who had more willpower, men or women?" Jack asked.

"Which one?" she joked.

"You know, the one where I won?"

"_You_ won?" she huffed playfully.

"Of course I won. I don't _need_ women."

"Oh, honestly, Jack," she laughed as she rolled her eyes.

"There was definitely chicken involved."

"You mean you?"

"You know, that really hurts, Janet."

They carried on like that until they reached the Beagle doors. But they loved each other. They did - they always would. It was clear in the way that they looked at one another, in the way that Jack took the box from Janet with one hand, and gently placed the other in hers as they headed toward the Beagle. That gesture said more than any words - because sometimes you don't have to say it; sometimes love is just understood."

xxxxx  
_"__No matter how irritated they could be with one another, the love that existed between them was profound. It required no words. It was just understood. And that's just the way we played it - __in the silence__." – Joyce DeWitt_


End file.
